Comedian Lives in Ikea Store

PartyRock24

Lingering Longer since summer of '06
May 23, 2007
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#1
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/08/living.ikea.ap/index.html

ISNT THIS WACKY!!!!

PARAMUS, New Jersey (AP) -- When Mark Malkoff thought about where he could stay while his New York City apartment was being fumigated for cockroaches, he quickly ruled out friends' places (too small) and hotels (too expensive).


Mark Malkoff sits on a display bed in a showroom at the Ikea store in Paramus, New Jersey.

1 of 3 Instead, the comedian and filmmaker decided to move into an Ikea store in suburban New Jersey, where on Monday he unloaded two suitcases into a spacious bedroom at the store.

At night when the store is closed, he says he'll play laser tag with security guards and even plans to host a housewarming party.

"The fact that Ikea is letting me do this is mind-boggling," said Malkoff, lounging on a bed in his new room. "There's no way I'm going back. I love this way too much." Comedian gives tour of his new digs »

Malkoff, who works for Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" as a ticket handler, is allowed to stay until Ikea closes at about midnight on Saturday; the store, famous for its low-cost do-it-yourself furniture, is closed on Sundays.

Malkoff, 31, is known for his 2007 video "171 Starbucks" which documents his visits to all of the coffee chain's Manhattan stores in a single day.

Deputy store manager Julie Mott said Malkoff contacted the store about three weeks ago and presented a proposal to move in.

"We thought it would be a lot of fun and interesting," Mott said. "We're not really sure what this week holds."

He is being followed by a camera crew documenting his stay for a video, which will be shown on his Web site.

But despite the hospitality, Malkoff did find a few problems: The sinks don't work, and neither does the toilet, refrigerator, flat-screen television or the washer and dryer.

"Is anything real in this place?" he asked.

He must shower in the staff locker room and will have access to the staff cafeteria to cook his own meals, if he chooses, Mott said.

However, the Ikea display does offer more spacious living than his two-bedroom Queens apartment.

"I feel like I'm on the set of 'Friends,"' he said, adding that he has met a few new faux friends -- customers who wandered into his new apartment.


His wife of 2 1/2 years, Christine, isn't as thrilled with his new digs and has instead opted to stay with relatives in upstate New York.

"For some reason," he said, "she doesn't want to live in a store." E-mail to a friend
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
144,474
51,094
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#2
Malkoff, 31, is known for his 2007 video "171 Starbucks" which documents his visits to all of the coffee chain's Manhattan stores in a single day.
A) No, he's not. B) Sounds like a lark!!
 

PartyRock24

Lingering Longer since summer of '06
May 23, 2007
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#5
I was thinking, how disgusting is that, The fuckin guy is living in a store, sleeping in the beds using all of that shit. Its really gross
 

Begbie

Wackbag Generalissimo
Jul 21, 2003
18,179
5,552
838
Wilmington, NC
#6
CNN also interviewed Tippy Tom to get his thoughts on this:

"Hooooo hoooooo! He's a clone! I invented sleeping in furniture stores, tell'em rockn'roll Tommy!"
 

Jim T.

Calmo, calmo...
Jul 12, 2005
1,327
0
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#7
"The great thing is, I always got wood!" [rimshot]

DIE
 

TheDrip

I'm bi-winning.
Jan 9, 2006
5,051
3
228
#8
Can't wait for his HBO special.
 
J

japannapaj

Guest
#11
youtube.com/watch?v=Ama5GGE0GP8
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#12
Who wants to go visit and steal all his pillows with me?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
144,474
51,094
644
#14
"I feel like I'm on the set of 'Friends,"' he said, adding that he has met a few new faux friends -- customers who wandered into his new apartment.
Re-reading this article which, of course I re-read out of curiosity, this line caught my interest. A line like this I want to pummel him with a tire iron but I want to come up with something more creative than tire iron but nothing can match the brutality of that equipment. And you can imagine his exact line read and the chuckle he gives afterwards.

His wife of 2 1/2 years, Christine, isn't as thrilled with his new digs and has instead opted to stay with relatives in upstate New York.
I take solace in the knowledge that that relationship is not going to work out, even though she'll be portrayed as the "I told you you'll fail!" wife in his eventual biopic. I just love imagining the arguments of "Your last two ideas were sleeping in an Ikea and going to Starbucks!!! You're a loser. My mother was right!"
 
J

japannapaj

Guest
#15
This shit was already done. Watch this link.
youtube.com/watch?v=Ama5GGE0GP8
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,623
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#17
As much as I want to make fun of the guy I have some of the same shit in my bedroom.

Of course I can jerk off in my bedroom without getting arrested, so this guy is a cunt.