Cop Caught Crankin'

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
#1
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/04/12/tagblogsfindlawcom2012-legallyweird-idUS84732720720120412

Ex-Cop Accused of Masturbating in Squad Car While Dashcam Rolls

By Edward Tan, JD at FindLaw.com
Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:54am EDT
Some people just can't keep their hands to themselves. Others have the exact opposite problem. Nowhere is this point better illustrated than ex-Santa Fe police sergeant Mike Eiskant, 41. He was caught allegedly masturbating in his squad car after having a sexual conversation.

But who was the lucky recipient on the other end of Eiskant's allegedly steamy chat? A girlfriend, a stripper, another officer? Nope, try again.

The other party was none other than Eiskant himself. That's all kinds of creepy. But you know you want to watch it. Feel free to jump to the end of this post to hear Eiskant in all his glory.

The video doesn't actually show Eiskant doing the act. However, you can clearly hear the sound of a zipper followed by moaning. Eiskant can also be heard saying "Oh show me those big beautiful breasts."



It's alleged that he was texting and looking at pictures of naked women on his cell phone at the time.

This incident is only one of many embarrassing events to befall the former cop as of late.

Last week, Eiskant plead no contest to ten misdemeanor charges before a Bernalillo County District Court. Among the highlights include false imprisonment, larceny, marijuana possession, and stalking women. Eiskant will only be getting probation, but he also agreed to never become a cop again.

A no contest plea means that a defendant agrees to take whatever sentence a court dishes out at them without actually admitting they're guilty.

So even though Eiskant has taken the court's punishment, he hasn't technically admitted to being guilty of the charges.

But things aren't looking too rosy for Mike Eiskant. Not only is he out his livelihood, he now has to deal with being known as the masturbating cop for the rest of his life.


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Motorhead? Comment?
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
#2
Don't judge me!!!

















































Oh wait, this was about another guy. Shame shame shame, shame on him.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
#3
The video doesn't actually show Eiskant doing the act. However, you can clearly hear the sound of a zipper followed by moaning. Eiskant can also be heard saying "Oh show me those big beautiful breasts."
Maybe he was a black gentleman and he was digging into a bucket of Popeye's. You know how passionate those colored people get when it comes to their fried foods.
 

kidconnor

55gallon hog
#4
There is nothing in the patrol guide about NOT doing that.

I didn't even read how he got caught.. how does that happen?
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
#5
Maybe he was a black gentleman and he was digging into a bucket of Popeye's. You know how passionate those colored people get when it comes to their fried foods.
How is he going to eat the chicken wearing handcuffs?
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
#7
There is nothing in the patrol guide about NOT doing that.

I didn't even read how he got caught.. how does that happen?
His camera and mic were likely on. If he knew they were on and decided to have a jerk and say creepy shit, well obviously his cheese has slid off of his cracker.
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
#9
Maybe he was a black gentleman and he was digging into a bucket of Popeye's. You know how passionate those colored people get when it comes to their fried foods.
You don't necessarily have to be a black gentleman to appreciate Popeyes.... Just sayin.
 
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