Dark Shadows or Battleship

Bobobie

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Oct 1, 2005
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#1
I have a few hours to kill in town Friday so figured I'd watch a movie. I already seen the Avengers and these two are the only thing that looks interesting. The reviews are pretty bad, neither scored high on Rotten Tomatoes. Anyone watch both? Are they entertaining or a chore to even watch?
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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#2
Battleship because

a) it's not Tim Burton
and
b) [yt]DRa4AoQYgV4[/yt]
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
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#3
^What he said.
 

Voodoo Ben

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Dec 5, 2010
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#4
i liked Dark Shadows.
 

mascan42

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Aug 26, 2002
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#5
Battleship is a shitty Transformers ripoff. Actually, it makes TF look like an intellectual exercise. How Peter Berg made this is beyond me.

Dark Shadows, on the other hand, is exactly what you'd expect from latter-day Tim Burton. Quirkiness for its own sake, and not much holding the scenes together into a cohesive whole.
 

NuttyJim

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Feb 18, 2006
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#6
I liked Dark Shadows. Reminded me a lot of the tv show. Granted I only watched the reruns. Johnny Depp did a good job surprisingly.
 

Lord Zero

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Aug 25, 2008
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#7
Battleship is a shitty Transformers ripoff. Actually, it makes TF look like an intellectual exercise. How Peter Berg made this is beyond me.
I hope it's awful. I'm seeing with some friends. One of those friends is a fellow MST3K fan and he and I have been planning to see this since we first saw the trailer before Cowboys & Aliens. That was back on July 30, 2011; that's how long we've been looking forward to this piece of shit.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

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Sep 15, 2004
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#8
I hope it's awful. I'm seeing with some friends. One of those friends is a fellow MST3K fan and he and I have been planning to see this since we first saw the trailer before Cowboys & Aliens. That was back on July 30, 2011; that's how long we've been looking forward to this piece of shit.

It got zero stars.
 

ruckstande

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Apr 2, 2005
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#9
So far the reviews are better than any Transformers film.
 

Pigdango

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#10
I hope it's awful. I'm seeing with some friends. One of those friends is a fellow MST3K fan and he and I have been planning to see this since we first saw the trailer before Cowboys & Aliens. That was back on July 30, 2011; that's how long we've been looking forward to this piece of shit.
My friend and I are going. We have a bet to see which of us fires off "You Sank My Battleship, Yo," more times before we get asked to leave. Normally I'm not that guy but Cajun Rihanna has me whipped into a frenzy
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
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#11
So far the reviews are better than any Transformers film.
RT:

Transformers - 57
Transformers 2- 20
Transformers 3- 35
Battleship- 35
 

Pigdango

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Jun 22, 2004
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#12
20% of RT reviewers are morons
 

Atomic Fireball

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#13
I saw Battleship today. It's a competently produced by-the-numbers ensemble SF action film. I would say it's somewhat less witless than the Transformer films. If you liked Independence Day you'll be OK. Liam Neeson is an extended cameo.

The closest they came to the expected hack line was "You're not gonna sink my battleship!"
 

ruckstande

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#14
I saw Battleship today. It's a competently produced by-the-numbers ensemble SF action film. I would say it's somewhat less witless than the Transformer films. If you liked Independence Day you'll be OK. Liam Neeson is an extended cameo.

The closest they came to the expected hack line was "You're not gonna sink my battleship!"
I gotta know, why is there even a Battleship seaworthy in this "film"? None exist and haven't since Under Siege right?
 

Don the Radio Guy

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#15
The Dictator starts today. Probably not great but better than either of those piles of shit.
 

Voodoo Ben

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#16
and just think, Rihanna wouldn't have been in Battleship if Christ Brown didn't beat the shit out of her and the following media circus boosted her career.
 

Atomic Fireball

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#17
I gotta know, why is there even a Battleship seaworthy in this "film"? None exist and haven't since Under Siege right?
They actually answer this. The USS Missouri is recommisioned, because, you know, a floating museum can be made seaworthy in about four hours. They just pushed some vending machines out of the way.
 

Mother Shucker

I'm over here now.
Oct 13, 2004
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#18
Been on the "Mighty Mo" (no homo), and yeah, it may take a bit more then four hours for that thing to shove off.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
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#19
The Dictator starts today. Probably not great but better than either of those piles of shit.
Maybe (I doubt it) but it's worthless to see anything but an action movie in the theater.
 

Lord Zero

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Aug 25, 2008
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#20
Battleship was okay even though it was filled to the brim with cliches.
 

mascan42

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Aug 26, 2002
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#21
They actually answer this. The USS Missouri is recommisioned, because, you know, a floating museum can be made seaworthy in about four hours. They just pushed some vending machines out of the way.
Is this the battleship that's manned by Navy vets in their 80s? One of whom goes mano-a-mano with an alien despite having NO FUCKING LEGS????
 
Nov 29, 2006
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#22
If my life ever boils down to a decision between two shit movies such as these... you will never hear from me again.
 

Don the Radio Guy

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#23
Maybe (I doubt it) but it's worthless to see anything but an action movie in the theater.
I like seeing comedies in the theater. Sometimes other people laughing can carry a mediocre comedy film to actually be enjoyable.
 

silentbob8201

Registered User
Jun 29, 2005
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#24
I've liked Peter Berg since Friday Night Lights but seriously, Battleship is a game of Navel Ships vs Navel Ships not some stupid fucking Aliens. The Hunt for Red October is more akin to what a Battleship movie should of been. IE Me saying Fuck this Noise.
 

Bill Lehecka

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#25
I found the last third of Battleship one of the greatest comedies from the past ten years. I was howling at the absurdity. Old men walking in slo-mo to save the day and leg less dude bull rushing a fully armored and capable alien were gut busting.