DNA Ancestry Tests

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
#76
I would've told you that you were an asshole for free
Just sayin'
My wife did it, she wanted to make sure she didn’t have any Jew in her, she doesn’t, which is shocking because she can be cheep
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
#77
I actually did put together a fake one that showed 23% sub-Saharan African. I found one online and just put my name and information on it and sent it to my father. He was not amused.

I'm tempted to do it for real, because I have my suspicions.
 

Mags

A.K.A. Chad
Donator
#78
I actually did put together a fake one that showed 23% sub-Saharan African. I found one online and just put my name and information on it and sent it to my father. He was not amused.

I'm tempted to do it for real, because I have my suspicions.
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

I’m sorry.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
#79
I actually did put together a fake one that showed 23% sub-Saharan African. I found one online and just put my name and information on it and sent it to my father. He was not amused.

I'm tempted to do it for real, because I have my suspicions.
You are swarthy looking
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
#82
Even though I made up the the fake one, I am in the bunker with @THE FEZ MAN wearing my tinfoil hat and won't be doing it for real.
 

MurphCO

Enough of this palaver
Donator
#83
Government been tracking me since the day I was born


the spot in Ireland and Norway are where I already knew both sides were from according to grandparents
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
#87
My wife sent one in for me, because there's a (bullshit) family legend about there being a Cree indian(feather, not street shitter) squirrel in out shanty Irish woodpile, and my wife was hoping for some sweet Uncle Sugar scholarship money for our Firewater American children.

The results dismissed the wagon burner myth, confirmed the assumption that my drunken boiled potato ass is solid Irish, and it also made a discovery that would explain a great many things.



I'm just a simple caveman who fell asleep on some ice.
 
#88
My wife sent one in for me, because there's a (bullshit) family legend about there being a Cree indian(feather, not street shitter) squirrel in out shanty Irish woodpile, and my wife was hoping for some sweet Uncle Sugar scholarship money for our Firewater American children.

The results dismissed the wagon burner myth, confirmed the assumption that my drunken boiled potato ass is solid Irish, and it also made a discovery that would explain a great many things.



I'm just a simple caveman who fell asleep on some ice.
that's so funny because we have the same myth in our family. My mom even went so far as to say she felt sorry she didn't register me as part Indian when I was born cuz I could have got some casino money. Got my test back 99.6% Irish.
 

MurphCO

Enough of this palaver
Donator
#89
My wife sent one in for me, because there's a (bullshit) family legend about there being a Cree indian(feather, not street shitter) squirrel in out shanty Irish woodpile, and my wife was hoping for some sweet Uncle Sugar scholarship money for our Firewater American children.

The results dismissed the wagon burner myth, confirmed the assumption that my drunken boiled potato ass is solid Irish, and it also made a discovery that would explain a great many things.



I'm just a simple caveman who fell asleep on some ice.
I thought my 294 was high
 

Mags

A.K.A. Chad
Donator
#90
that's so funny because we have the same myth in our family. My mom even went so far as to say she felt sorry she didn't register me as part Indian when I was born cuz I could have got some casino money. Got my test back 99.6% Irish.

My wife sent one in for me, because there's a (bullshit) family legend about there being a Cree indian(feather, not street shitter) squirrel in out shanty Irish woodpile, and my wife was hoping for some sweet Uncle Sugar scholarship money for our Firewater American children.

The results dismissed the wagon burner myth, confirmed the assumption that my drunken boiled potato ass is solid Irish, and it also made a discovery that would explain a great many things.



I'm just a simple caveman who fell asleep on some ice.
My family had the same fucking myth: “we have some American Indian in our genes”. Heard it since I was a kid. When I sent my DNA results out via mass email dispelling this horrid rumor, almost nobody replied.

Why do white people feel the need to be injuns?
 
#91
My family had the same fucking myth: “we have some American Indian in our genes”. Heard it since I was a kid. When I sent my DNA results out via mass email dispelling this horrid rumor, almost nobody replied.

Why do white people feel the need to be injuns?
To help explain why great-great-great granny was a whore.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
#93
There was actually a backstory, albeit sketchy, for the teepee negro legend in my family. Half of my ancestors came off the boats at Ellis Island crawling with lice and begging for soup, and they're easy to track, because they're right there in the logs and registries.

But the other half of my bogtrotting people were in the Ameringos much earlier. That clan actually started in Canada in the mid-1800's, and then creeped South as a herd of wild mountain goats and dirt chickens. That history is much more sketchy, but there are some journals and records that my aunt has, and she did a whole genealogy search. There were records of a great, great, great grandpappy(what weren't condescended from no monkey) running a pretty big charcoal business way the fuck up in the Adirondacks. I guess it's not too complicated a process to make charcoal. You just chop down a bunch of trees, burn the wood, and then throw the black chunks into sacks, and sell it. A brutish and filthy enterprise perfect for a drunken Irishman.

There are records of a group of Cree Indians being involved with the charcoal business, and there was a suspicious name listed in a family Bible- a baby who had been baptized- sounded kinda dirt worshipy and pagan, where all the other names were straight Catholicky and biblical. The kid's name was like Moonstone O'Blarneyhead, and that's what sparked the legend of Corned Elk and Cabbage in my family's Powow Chow cookbook, just one weird name.

The DNA test pretty much kicked that in the nuts.
 

HandPanzer

Shantih Shantih Shantih
#95
There was actually a backstory, albeit sketchy, for the teepee negro legend in my family. Half of my ancestors came off the boats at Ellis Island crawling with lice and begging for soup, and they're easy to track, because they're right there in the logs and registries.

But the other half of my bogtrotting people were in the Ameringos much earlier. That clan actually started in Canada in the mid-1800's, and then creeped South as a herd of wild mountain goats and dirt chickens. That history is much more sketchy, but there are some journals and records that my aunt has, and she did a whole genealogy search. There were records of a great, great, great grandpappy(what weren't condescended from no monkey) running a pretty big charcoal business way the fuck up in the Adirondacks. I guess it's not too complicated a process to make charcoal. You just chop down a bunch of trees, burn the wood, and then throw the black chunks into sacks, and sell it. A brutish and filthy enterprise perfect for a drunken Irishman.

There are records of a group of Cree Indians being involved with the charcoal business, and there was a suspicious name listed in a family Bible- a baby who had been baptized- sounded kinda dirt worshipy and pagan, where all the other names were straight Catholicky and biblical. The kid's name was like Moonstone O'Blarneyhead, and that's what sparked the legend of Corned Elk and Cabbage in my family's Powow Chow cookbook, just one weird name.

The DNA test pretty much kicked that in the nuts.
What's with people and wanting to be part Indian (it's not even just White people; blacks are into it as well)? As an actual part Indian, I can say with 100% conviction that I could not be happier that European culture became the dominating force in North America. It's time for the noble savage living in harmony with Mother Earth myth to die out.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
#96
What's with people and wanting to be part Indian (it's not even just White people; blacks are into it as well)? As an actual part Indian, I can say with 100% conviction that I could not be happier that European culture became the dominating force in North America. It's time for the noble savage living in harmony with Mother Earth myth to die out.
People want to be on the losing side these days. It's bizarre.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
#99
The high of losing is slightly more intense than the high of winning for a lot of people. Like in my dark gambling days, I think losing did more for me than winning. Human brains are really fucked up.
Probably because losing is easier and more common. Winning at anything takes work and it's rare... why not accept losing and externalize the reasons.

I'm actually so pessimistic and self doubting that I blame myself for losses and attribute wins to external factors, despite evidence to the contrary. I get handful of days a year where I actually think "I fucking killed it today".
 
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