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End Times

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Atomic Fireball, Sep 25, 2013.

  1. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
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    Doctors Grow Nose on Man’s Forehead

    [​IMG]

    Doctors used a tissue expander to grow a second nose. (Reuters)

    After a Chinese man’s nose was irreparably damaged from infection, his doctors decided to “grow” a second nose on the man’s forehead to replace the original nose.

    The patient, identified only as Xiaolian according to Reuters, has his nose damaged from an infection following a car accident. His doctors decided the only way to reconstruct his nose was to surgically form a new one on the 22-year-old’s forehead.

    Tissue expanders were placed under the skin and then cut to resemble a nose. According to local media, doctors expect to implant the new nose soon.

    Dr. Patrick Byrne, the director of Facial, Plastic and Reconstruction Surgery at Johns Hopkins Medical Center, said foreskin skin is used to help reform noses because it is the closest match to skin on the nose. However, usually the nose is reformed during surgery instead of on a patient’s forehead.

    “My guess would be that they felt that the tissue in the nose was so damaged they had to use the forehead skin on the interior part of the nose,” said Byrne. “It’ll be a real nose and [have a] breathing passage way.”

    http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/09/25/doctors-grow-nose-on-mans-forehead/


    Never mind the superfluous nose, what is that thing in his hair?
     
  2. Lord Zero

    Lord Zero Viciously Silly

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    That's so much less convenient to pick.
     
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  3. Cunt Smasher

    Cunt Smasher Caligula Jr.

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    Fucking can't go outside when its raining, either.
     
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  4. the Streif

    the Streif ¡¡¡¡sıʞunɹɹɹɹɹɹɹℲ
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    So you sneeze and get snot in your hair?

    Bonus, if you are going bald in front, just grow your nose hair long and comb it towards the back.
     
  5. OilyJillFart

    OilyJillFart Well-Lubed Member

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    Wait, what?
    Dicknose?
     
  6. the Streif

    the Streif ¡¡¡¡sıʞunɹɹɹɹɹɹɹℲ
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    Don't stand behind this guy when he sneezes.
     
  7. Foggy

    Foggy I'm wasting my life here
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    "Also, I bet those chinks are laughing their asses off right now", Dr. Byrne added.
     
  8. Cunt Smasher

    Cunt Smasher Caligula Jr.

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    You blow a booger out it goes straight up and then falls on your head.
    Bet he would look cute with a nose ring.
     
  9. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    Nice head, dick.
     
  10. CougarHunter

    CougarHunter Lying causes cat piss smell.

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    He could slick his hair back with a conveniently placed gel dispenser, just add avian flu.
     
  11. bill333

    bill333 Go Screw!

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    He'll have one hell of a head cold now
     
  12. Cunt Smasher

    Cunt Smasher Caligula Jr.

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    If he runs backwards he has a hood scoop.
     
  13. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
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    Michael Jackson paid thousands of dollars for the same dainty proboscis that this Chinaman sports now.
     
  14. wes mantooth

    wes mantooth wierdo

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    This guy's the best "got your nose" player in history.
     
  15. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
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    Two men save shark from choking on moose

    According to CBC.ca, two Newfoundland men saved a shark from choking on a moose.

    Derrick Chaulk was driving by the Norris Arm North harbor and thought he saw a beached whale. But when he went closer to investigate, Chaulk realized it was a Greenland shark. And it was choking.

    "[The moose] had the fur and all the liner on it -- it was about 2 feet long, maybe," Chaulk said.

    Chaulk and another man, Jeremy Ball, started pulling on the moose, CBS.ca reported.

    "A couple yanks and it just came right out," he said.

    Chaulk and Ball then pushed the shark back into the water. After being still for a few minutes, water starting coming off the shark's gills and it headed back out to sea.

    "It was a good feeling to see that shark swim out, knowing that you saved his life," Chaulk said. "There was a few people up on the bank watching and once that shark swam out and lifted his tail, and then swam all the way out, everybody just clapped."

    Greenland sharks are rarely seen on the northeast coast of Newfoundland, CBC.ca reported.

    http://www.myfoxdc.com/story/24082762/two-men-save-shark-from-choking-on-moose#axzz2ls3hXQcu
     
  16. Jambi

    Jambi Infidel

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    What am I missing here?
     
  17. Yesterdays Hero

    Yesterdays Hero She's better than you, Smirkalicious.

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    That the majority of Canadians, much like the majority of Americans, are batshit fucking insane.
     
  18. frankjg

    frankjg doG

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    A Shark... Eating a Moose
     
  19. Jambi

    Jambi Infidel

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    What's a shark choking on a moose have to do with a chink with a nose on his forehead?
     
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  20. HandPanzer

    HandPanzer in situ

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    Nothing, it has to do with the end times.
     
  21. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    To get to the other side.
     
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  22. Jacuzzi Billy

    Jacuzzi Billy Watching PTI
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    What a snob.
     
  23. Jambi

    Jambi Infidel

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    Oh okay, it's been a while. I remember the four horsemen, the goat with seven horns, and the talking walnut, but I guess I never made it to the choking shark and the two-nosed gook.
     
  24. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
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    Check out Revelations, it has been prophesized

    11.19–15.4 Zipper-eyed men from the East shall bear four nostrils; ancient fish shall perish upon elk entrails
     
  25. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    All will be made clear when Gozer the Traveller comes in the form of a Giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zulls will know what it is to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar on that day I can tell you.
     

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