Etiquette on writing a will

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#1
Yes, this is a really morbid and bizarre topic. I'm not one to sit and pontificate about death either, so hear me out.


I'm the youngest of 3 (awwwwww) and also the only one who hasn't popped any spawn out. My brother is in the middle and has a 1-year old; he and his wife are now writing out their will. They asked my sister (who is 11 years older than me and has 2 kids aged 7 and 4) to be the legal guardian if both my brother and sister-in-law die. By no means do I want kids any time soon, but I guess I just assumed since I'm younger I would be first on the list. I'm not insulted by their decision exactly; in fact, I think I'm mildly relieved. What's the etiquette on this typically? I know it's situational in some circumstances, but I'm talking in broad terms here. Also, is it inter-changable like trading household keys with a neighbor? You watch my kids, I watch yours kind of thing?
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,806
6,920
763
F.U.B.A.R
#2
Responsible is a better word, as shit happens whenever it feels like happening.
 

stillbornstew

blogging loser
Jul 26, 2005
8,834
1
273
NOLA
#3
Yes, this is a really morbid and bizarre topic. I'm not one to sit and pontificate about death either, so hear me out.


I'm the youngest of 3 (awwwwww) and also the only one who hasn't popped any spawn out. My brother is in the middle and has a 1-year old; he and his wife are now writing out their will. They asked my sister (who is 11 years older than me and has 2 kids aged 7 and 4) to be the legal guardian if both my brother and sister-in-law die. By no means do I want kids any time soon, but I guess I just assumed since I'm younger I would be first on the list. I'm not insulted by their decision exactly; in fact, I think I'm mildly relieved. What's the etiquette on this typically? I know it's situational in some circumstances, but I'm talking in broad terms here. Also, is it inter-changable like trading household keys with a neighbor? You watch my kids, I watch yours kind of thing?


I also think my brother is too young to be writing a will and it seems so ghoulish, but that's besides the point.

being in the military i have written 3 wills over 6 years. but...i have no kids. your best bet is to just say nothing. you don't want custody, you don't have custody. the will is a LEGAL binding document, your sis has the kids on paper, thats where they'll go. there you go. hope it helps. :action-sm
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,697
9,691
848
#4
my sister in law and her husband agreed to take my son, we chose them over all our other relatives because they are the most "stable" of the whole lot, and im sure my mother would get quite pissed if she found out, also every thing goes to him in the event of my demise, with the exception of my motor cycle, that is to go to a friend of mine, who has the option to sell it back to my son for what i paid, 1000$
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#5
being in the military i have written 3 wills over 6 years. but...i have no kids. your best bet is to just say nothing. you don't want custody, you don't have custody. the will is a LEGAL binding document, your sis has the kids on paper, thats where they'll go. there you go. hope it helps. :action-sm
Oh no, like I said I'm not complaining for lots of reasons. I was just curious since my first thought was that as long as everyone was sane and capable, it would go to the youngest person. (it being the kid)
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#6
Oh no, like I said I'm not complaining for lots of reasons. I was just curious since my first thought was that as long as everyone was sane and capable, it would go to the youngest person. (it being the kid)
To whom is your brother closer - you or your sister? That could have an impact on your brother's decision. It could also be that your brother knows you're still in school and are still not really settled in your life whereas your sister is, so she's the more "logical" choice. I'm the oldest of three but neither of my sisters are leaving me their kids even though I'm the one to whom all 4 boys are closest. The "logic" is that as the unmarried one, I'm less settled than both of them, so they each get custody of the other's boys should something happen to them and their hubbies. At first it bothered me but as long as the boys are going to be cared for, I don't care who gets them.
 

BigWilly

Just thoughts, no prayers.
Dec 11, 2004
601
1
0
Lakewood, CO
#7
It seems to me that probably the reason they would want your sister to take care of them is because she already has kids, and it might make it a little easier for the little munchkins to adjust to losing their parents, if there are children around, not a first time mom. No disrespect and just my 2 cents.
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#8
To whom is your brother closer - you or your sister? That could have an impact on your brother's decision.

He completely secludes himself. My sister and I are the closest.
 

NikkorTheMonk

Registered User
Apr 26, 2005
1,524
54
473
#9
It seems to me that probably the reason they would want your sister to take care of them is because she already has kids, and it might make it a little easier for the little munchkins to adjust to losing their parents, if there are children around, not a first time mom. No disrespect and just my 2 cents.

Your sister is set, ready, and prepared, to handle kids. It has nothing to do with your parenting abilities or you in general. Her house is probably already child proofed, she has peditricians on speed dial, a network of babysitters. tons of left over kiddie clothes and a preset life scheduel. It would be a huge financial burden which they wouldn't want to lay on you. Theyre just being curteous.
 

Tax Kuntz

just being an ass
Jul 6, 2003
8,976
6
536
Parsippany, NJ
#10
Maybe they didn't pick you because they read the Bizzaro Forum over last few days.
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#11
Maybe they didn't pick you because they read the Bizzaro Forum over last few days.
That certainly doesn't help.




I didn't take their decision as a personal attack. I see where they're coming from to an extent. Good thing I don't have to deal with this crap yet.
 

sued

Now you know
Sep 2, 2004
953
0
276
Montclair.NJ
#12
I have a brother who doesnt have children and if my husband and I die the kids go to my mother in law. I love my brother, he is like my best friend but he has absolutely no idea about raising kids and we feel it would be unfair to him and them to pair them up. There really is no way to prepare a person to deal with kids who hasnt had them before. Consider yourself fortunate and your brother wise.
 

Dopie Opie

Registered User
Oct 22, 2004
3,573
1
0
#13
Do not take it personally. I am surprised that you even thought of yourself as the next in line. As a parent, you look for someone that the kids can basically just step in with. It will be hard enough on the kids, never mind putting th extra stress making a new parent.

Besides what would you do with them.

Also do the kids ever sleep over your sisters house to play with their cousins ?? It really does make it a simple decision.

As long as they did not say

"No mommy, not Aunt Simby....NOOOOOOOO"

You still get to be the cool aunt
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#14
Well my brothers kid just turned 1 so she is basically still a blob. Either way, I'll always be cool Aunt Simby. With more money and free time, of course.



Another twist is my sister-in-law has a brother with a kid around the same age as hers.
 

Dopie Opie

Registered User
Oct 22, 2004
3,573
1
0
#15
ANd nicer tits, don't forget the tits
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#16
Yes, I definitely have nicer tits than my sister-in-law's brother.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,697
9,691
848
#17
be glad they didnt pick you, besides why would you want that fucking burden,
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
7,347
0
261
On the road to ruin
#19
There is absolutely no such thing as "etiquette" when it comes to writing a will. No one is entitled to anything, moneytary or otherwise.
 

abudabit

New Wackbag
Oct 10, 2004
14,802
0
0
#20
Leave it all to your dog. Be sure to mention the relatives you have a beef with and mention explicitly that they will not get anything.
 

Plunkies

Registered User
Jun 28, 2006
6,033
2,777
543
#21
be glad they didnt pick you, besides why would you want that fucking burden,
Exactly. I'd be offended if anyone wanted to drop their little burdens on my lawn in the event of their death. It wouldn't even be the same kid anymore...Always whining about their dead parents, BOOHOO! Fuck that. Stupid kid probably thinks they're the only one with problems. What, now I'm not supposed to keep loaded weapons in random places around the house? What happens in the event of a race war? What then? I'm just supposed to get killed by minorities because this kid is too stupid to use a shotgun?

They're doing you a favor by not bothering you.