Ever had a Patrick Bateman moment?

FellowTraveler

Frank Reynolds is my hero
Jul 24, 2005
1,976
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#1
There is this one motherfucker that works in my office that I absolutely want to fucking beat until he has to breathe through a tube for the rest of his life. He is sitting behind me sniffing every five seconds, slurping his awful smelling soup and now I will have to endure this cocksucker burping and sniffing all fucking day. I am sitting here thinking how wonderful it would be to slam an ax into the back of his head mid slurp. He turns his shitty buttery beats (linger longer) on and ask how everyone likes techno. I HATE this motherfucker.
 

BusyChild04

I gotta return some video tapes.
Apr 28, 2005
2,234
49
548
Texas
#2




I usually go around campus pointing nail guns to the back of girls' heads.
 

LilJimmyRbinson

Best muppet ever
Nov 19, 2004
11,417
7,547
586
RI
#6
There is this one motherfucker that works in my office that I absolutely want to fucking beat until he has to breathe through a tube for the rest of his life. He is sitting behind me sniffing every five seconds, slurping his awful smelling soup and now I will have to endure this cocksucker burping and sniffing all fucking day. I am sitting here thinking how wonderful it would be to slam an ax into the back of his head mid slurp. He turns his shitty buttery beats (linger longer) on and ask how everyone likes techno. I HATE this motherfucker.
The guy who sits in front of me is just like that. A chronic throat clearer who loves listening to Jesus radio. I just want to shoot a shotgun through the cubicle wall into his back.
 

WhiskeyWhispers

I Want To Kill You All
Mar 11, 2007
3,544
3
0
Jersey
#7
Everyday of my miserable life, and I don't even have to leave the house to have one. All I have to do is open a paper, or turn on the tv.

"Get the gun and try it
Shoot, shoot, shoot"

[SIZE=-1]“Kill her, mommy…Kill her! [/SIZE]Don't let her get away, Mommy! Don't let her live![SIZE=-1]”

[/SIZE]
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,623
5,081
568
Wyoming
#8
I ran naked with a chainsaw down a hall chasing a hooker before. Does that count?
 
Feb 20, 2006
8,646
549
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**** Island
#10
I once beat a homeless man to death just to get an erection. Couldn't finish though because I had his stink on my hands afterwards. Bummer.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,683
9,680
848
#14
every day, at least once. as a matter of fact im going to post my lateist FU into the FU thread once i can put to words how much i hate this fucking cunt that came into the shop today
 
Aug 5, 2004
4,586
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#15
I keep plastic sheeting on the floor of my office... you know, just in case
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,465
50,259
644
#18
Not only do I get these feelings, I also spend most of the day having some sort of existentialist inner monologue (which explains my compulsive posting), enjoy fancy foods, and a violent, semi-misogynistic fantasy life.

How I wished my Patrick Bateman moments involved the actual killings, actual threesomes, actual drugs, an actual body not to be ashamed of, actual money. Instead it's just an impotent creepy broodiness.

If you haven't read Dostoyevsky's "Notes From The Underground," a quote from which starts the American Psycho novel, do so. It might be among the greatest things ever written.
 
Jun 2, 2005
15,516
4
0
Dallas
#19
Not only do I get these feelings, I also spend most of the day having some sort of existentialist inner monologue (which explains my compulsive posting), enjoy fancy foods, and a violent, semi-misogynistic fantasy life.
X2
 

Creampier

I have to return some videotapes!
May 11, 2007
748
0
366
Somerville, NJ
#20
There is a security desk at my job site for my latest project. There's this revolving door that you go through first, then a set of automatic doors that the security desk guy has to push a button open to let you through once you show him your ID badge.

This fucking guy is the chattiest bastard on the planet. Sometimes he'll keep yapping away and myself and others will be 10 minutes late for the start of work on some occasions.

It's pretty much a daily ritual now where I daydream about that scene in the movie where Bateman runs too far through the revolving door, then comes swinging back around and pumps the guy full of lead. At least I could get my work done earlier and beat the traffic at the end of the day!!