Fart leads to knife fight, arrest

Dec 8, 2004
49,454
21,277
693
Maine
#1

Deborah Ann Burns

A woman from Immokalee, Fla., allegedly threw an 8-inch-long kitchen knife at her boyfriend after he farted in her face.

Deborah Ann Burns, 37, told Collier County detectives that an argument ensued Tuesday night, while the two were watching TV, Naples Daily News reported.

Burns says that her boyfriend purposely passed gas while walking by her on his way to the kitchen.

When officers responded to a report of a possible stabbing, they found Burns' boyfriend in front of his house, with cuts on his abdomen and left arm, according to a Collier County Sheriff's Office arrest report sent to The Huffington Post.

The victim told authorities that his stomach wound came when Burns and he were arguing in the kitchen over money. He said she threw the knife at him, left the house, but came back, and struck him in the arm with a stick.

According to the report, the victim makes no mention of the alleged flatulence, but "continually stated if [Burns] returned he would kick her ass."

When detectives interviewed Burns, she allegedly asserted that her boyfriend became agitated and began yelling only after she confronted him about his fart.

Burns was arrested following the incident and charged with aggravated battery. She remains in custody on a $50,000 bond.

According to Collier County arrest records, Burns was arrested eight times between 2005 and 2012, on charges including cocaine possession, failure to pay child support, and trespassing.
Link

Nice arrest record...

http://www2.colliersheriff.org/arrestsearch/Person.aspx?pin=0000050972
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
79,197
27,688
898
Seattle
#3
Someone tell Whoopi to calm the fuck down.

Jumping jack flash is a gas gas gas.
 
Feb 5, 2003
5,565
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753
With a stranger
#4
Tracy Chapman sure has fallen on hard times.

If I got stabbed every time I farted on or near my girlfriend I'd have died a few hundred times by now.
 
Feb 5, 2003
5,565
927
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With a stranger
#8
If the Chipotle farts I just unleashed in my kitchen didn't get me stabbed, then nothing will. I had to check my pants to make sure nothing leaked out and all I got was an, "Oh God! That's nasty!" and a laugh. She never even glanced at our knife block.
 

tattered

Uber-Aryan
Wackbag Staff
Aug 22, 2002
24,533
8,683
918
JERZ
#9
If the Chipotle farts I just unleashed in my kitchen didn't get me stabbed, then nothing will. I had to check my pants to make sure nothing leaked out and all I got was an, "Oh God! That's nasty!" and a laugh. She never even glanced at our knife block.
Thats because you havent hit her with a Qudoba steak queso burrito with guacamole, extra cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, and habanero salsa fart yet.
 

Chin nuts

Your breath smells like a dead baby's coffin.
Mar 17, 2006
809
17
323
Island Park, NY
#10
Thats because you havent hit her with a Qudoba steak queso burrito with guacamole, extra cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, and habanero salsa fart yet.
Judging from the article my guess is it was White Castle to blame, best dutch oven fuel ever.
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
31,685
2,304
898
Florida's Nature Coast
#11
I only blast 'em off in the bedroom at night when we are watching TV. No knives around...
 

CougarHunter

Lying causes cat piss smell.
Mar 2, 2006
10,598
2,574
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KC Metro
#12
Those onion rolls that Arbys used to use would fuck me up for at least a day.
 

Gorilla Pimp

Popped a molly i'm sweatin, WOO
Nov 2, 2009
3,269
640
173
Mobile, AL
#14
After a night of drinking beer, and then eating eggs for breakfast the next morning, I can do some damage.
 

Neckbeard

I'm Team Piggy!
Donator
Oct 26, 2011
24,929
15,342
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#15
Chinese food is the worst for gas.
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,541
13,853
608
Idaho
#20
Q: Who cut that fart?

A: