Firefighters Rescue Man With Penis Stuck In Toaster

mr. sin

Registered User
Mar 30, 2005
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RALEIGH, NC
#1



http://www.peeperz.com/firefighters...ghters-rescue-man-with-penis-stuck-in-toaster


That’s pretty much it, right there “firefighters rescue man with penis stuck in toaster” is the whole story. Everything your mind just conjured is right on the money. There is no satisfactory explanation. Dude saw hole, dude stuck his penis in hole. Dude got penis stuck in hole.

It’s a tale as old as time. Toaster and the beast.

An unnamed London man is tending to his injured peen after firefighters were called to come rescue it from the clutch of an evil toaster. It’s not a case of Maximum Overdrive – the toaster didn’t come alive and attack his junk – dude was just horny. And possibly suicidal. At least, that’s my guess. Surely there are safer appliances to stick your peen in than a toaster?!


No word on whether the toaster was plugged or not.

That’s life for you. One minute you’re trying to butter your bread and the next London’s finest are coming in for the hard rescue.

Firefighter Dave Brown doesn’t know if it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but he told the Mirror that sex related injuries and rescues are becoming far too common in the last three years. The misuse of handcuffs being one of the top offenders.

In fact, firefighters have opened up about the toaster incident to warn the public against the misuse of household appliances, as in, “Let’s all stop having sex with them so we don’t have to rescue your dumb asses and stuck penises. We got into the game to save kittens not cocks.”
 

weeniewawa

it's a man, baby!!!
May 21, 2005
12,076
1,267
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Hell,California
#2
it seems this guy just wanted to get caught

I believe anyone could get their dick out of a toaster if they really wanted to
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
13,852
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Idaho
#3
“Let’s all stop having sex with them so we don’t have to rescue your dumb asses and stuck penises. We got into the game to save kittens not cocks.”
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,643
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#4
"Mrs. Simpson, while we were rescuing your husband, a lumber yard burned down."
"Oh! Lumber has a million uses!"
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,370
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#5
@Racia is @Dane Tvedt back from the dead? I seem to recall he had a love of toasters.
 

Neon

ネオン
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Mar 23, 2008
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#9
I know a firefighter who once had to saw off a thick metal ring that someone used as a cock ring.
 
Apr 30, 2011
35,364
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CLT
#10
No word on whether the toaster was plugged or not.
Yea I think I'm going to go with obviously not.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,370
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#11
I know a firefighter who once had to saw off a thick metal ring that someone used as a cock ring.
Did he cut off the ring or the cock?
 

Absolutely

Self-Heavy
Jan 25, 2006
33,637
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Saint Louis
#12
If you've made the decision to stick you dick in things around the house, I think toaster would be near the bottom.
So many better, less dangerous choices
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,370
49,284
788
#13
If you've made the decision to stick you dick in things around the house, I think toaster would be near the bottom.
So many better, less dangerous choices
Maybe his dick was cold.
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
Aug 25, 2008
54,168
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Atlanta, GA
#14
If you've made the decision to stick you dick in things around the house, I think toaster would be near the bottom.
So many better, less dangerous choices
Maybe it was the element of danger that he liked.
 

Absolutely

Self-Heavy
Jan 25, 2006
33,637
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Saint Louis
#17
Put it in the garbage disposal.
Tie a string around the on/off, get a cat, see if you make it out alive.
Then you got something
 

samurai

Ridiculum Anserini
May 16, 2007
20,711
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Chicago
#19
Hopefully he hit the "Bagel" setting.
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
78,636
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Seattle
#20
"You know, I like my penis and all...but do you know what it could use? Some crispy edges."
 

lajikal

Registered User
Aug 6, 2009
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#21
.. and that's how we got the name Black & Decker. Any questions?
 

Absolutely

Self-Heavy
Jan 25, 2006
33,637
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578
Saint Louis
#22
"You know, I like my penis and all...but do you know what it could use? Some crispy edges."
I hope he left it in just a few seconds too long and has to scrape the burnt black off his dick with a dull knife.