Firefighters Rescue Man With Penis Stuck In Toaster

mr. sin

Registered User
Mar 30, 2005
27,066
13,964
643
RALEIGH, NC
#1



http://www.peeperz.com/firefighters...ghters-rescue-man-with-penis-stuck-in-toaster


That’s pretty much it, right there “firefighters rescue man with penis stuck in toaster” is the whole story. Everything your mind just conjured is right on the money. There is no satisfactory explanation. Dude saw hole, dude stuck his penis in hole. Dude got penis stuck in hole.

It’s a tale as old as time. Toaster and the beast.

An unnamed London man is tending to his injured peen after firefighters were called to come rescue it from the clutch of an evil toaster. It’s not a case of Maximum Overdrive – the toaster didn’t come alive and attack his junk – dude was just horny. And possibly suicidal. At least, that’s my guess. Surely there are safer appliances to stick your peen in than a toaster?!


No word on whether the toaster was plugged or not.

That’s life for you. One minute you’re trying to butter your bread and the next London’s finest are coming in for the hard rescue.

Firefighter Dave Brown doesn’t know if it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but he told the Mirror that sex related injuries and rescues are becoming far too common in the last three years. The misuse of handcuffs being one of the top offenders.

In fact, firefighters have opened up about the toaster incident to warn the public against the misuse of household appliances, as in, “Let’s all stop having sex with them so we don’t have to rescue your dumb asses and stuck penises. We got into the game to save kittens not cocks.”
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
13,852
608
Idaho
#3
“Let’s all stop having sex with them so we don’t have to rescue your dumb asses and stuck penises. We got into the game to save kittens not cocks.”
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
140,387
49,288
579
#4
"Mrs. Simpson, while we were rescuing your husband, a lumber yard burned down."
"Oh! Lumber has a million uses!"
 

Absolutely

Self-Heavy
Jan 25, 2006
33,634
4,413
578
Saint Louis
#12
If you've made the decision to stick you dick in things around the house, I think toaster would be near the bottom.
So many better, less dangerous choices
 

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
Apr 22, 2002
77,878
27,154
898
Seattle
#20
"You know, I like my penis and all...but do you know what it could use? Some crispy edges."
 
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