Fred Willard Arrested For Jerking It In An Adult Theater

BIV

I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.
#1

[h=2]Fred Willard Arrested For Pulling A Pee-Wee[/h] July 19th, 2012 // 22 Comments








Wall-E star Fred Willard (What? Everyone else is choosing random movies.) was arrested in Hollywood last night for allegedly masturbating in an adult movie theater because apparently they still have those, and even weirder, people still expect you to do something besides not touch yourself there. Beats me. (Last pun, promise.) TMZ reports:
According to law enforcement sources, LAPD undercover vice officers went into the Tiki Theater in Hollywood and found the 78-year-old “Anchorman” star watching last night’s feature … with his penis exposed and in his hand — aka, pulling a Pee-wee Herman.
We’re told Willard was arrested around 8:45PM and booked for lewd conduct.
It was a quick release [Ed. Note: HIYO!] — we’re told he was out of police custody a short while later.
So if you’ve been wondering who actually goes to porno theaters anymore, old dudes. Old dudes go there. Which makes sense considering they’re not exactly a tech savvy bunch. “Whoa, whoa, I’m not looking at pornography on that thing. I can barely figure out how to talk to my grandchildren on it. Now fetch me my finest hat and coat, I’m off to masturbate in a dark room full of strangers like a man.”
http://www.thesuperficial.com/fred-willard-masturbating-porn-theater-arrested-07-2012
 
#2
Amazed there are still porno theaters around... there are some jerk booths on the New Hampshire side of Route 1 though...
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
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#3
Really? Quick question..did they arrest the entire theater for the same charge? Pretty sure EVERYONE else was doing the same thing, save maybe for the bums sleeping in the back three rows. Did someone complain that he was ruining the artistic merit of the film being shown?
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
#4
Seriously? Adult movie theaters still exist? They're obviously only for freaks who want to jerk off in public. Who the fuck doesn't have direct private access to porn these days?
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
#5
What a jack off.

Surprised he didn't use the old casting coach to his advantage.
 

LiddyRules

The 9/11 Moon Landings Were An Outside Job
#6
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Wow, this guy sure likes to jack off!
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
#7
I don't know why I find it so funny that "Iron Patriot" is on that list
 

JonBenetRamsey

well shit the bed
#8
i wonder if it was during a screening of his latest movie, The Yank
 

Lord Zero

Viciously Silly
#9
Why is it illegal to jack off in a porno theater? I get it if it's against the theater's rules, but I'm trying to figure out whether or not there's an actual law that you can't do it.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
#10
I only hope that when I'm 78 my sex drive is that good where I see no problem jacking it in a seedy porn theater.
 

ruckstande

Posts mostly from the shitter.
#11
Why is it illegal to jack off in a porno theater? I get it if it's against the theater's rules, but I'm trying to figure out whether or not there's an actual law that you can't do it.
I don't get that either. Unless someone just wanted to be the ass to say they called the cops on Fred Willard.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
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#12
Biv, like Joey, can't master copy/paste. At least Joey has an excuse trying to open that safe and all.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
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#14
What if he had poison Ivy from peeing in the forest and he had to apply salve?
 

samurai

Ridiculum Anserini
#15
What if he had poison Ivy from peeing in the forest and he had to apply salve?
"You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the Doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a Doctor put a balm on".

‏@AlbertBrooks

I love Fred Willard. He's a great guy. For his birthday I'm getting him a den and a computer.
 

Hoffman

Guess who's back? Hoffman's back
#16
Am I the only person around here that didn't know Porn Theaters still existed?
 
#18
Why is it illegal to jack off in a porno theater? I get it if it's against the theater's rules, but I'm trying to figure out whether or not there's an actual law that you can't do it.
Probably a public health thing. Can't imagine jizz covered floors are safe.
 

Falldog

Wackbag's Best Conservative
Donator
#19
Good to hear they're putting those tax dollars to good use.
 

Mother Shucker

I'm over here now.
#20
Probably a public health thing. Can't imagine jizz covered floors are safe.
Unless you are licking them, I really don't think it would matter.

But I get what you are saying.

I just think it is illegal to jack in public, and a theater, even a pr0n theater, would qualify as "public".
 

samurai

Ridiculum Anserini
#21
#25
Porn theaters still exist as meeting places for certain sorts of people. Somehow I doubt Fred just goes to these places to jerk it, and none of this surprises me.
 
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