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FU Academic Integrity Test

Discussion in 'What the F??!?' started by ShooterMcGavin, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. ShooterMcGavin

    ShooterMcGavin Go back to your shanties.

    May 25, 2005
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    Throughout our educational careers, no matter what school we attend, we are all told the same thing: DON'T CHEAT.

    That's a pretty easy thing to comprehend. You don't cheat, you learn something, and you move on. You cheat, you get caught, you're punished. Easy shit, right?

    Well apparently for my university, and I'm sure yours as well, academic misconduct is a very complicated thing to grasp.

    I went to the Gaylord (lolz) college of journalism today to take my LST (Language Skills Test) so that I can continue taking classes as a journalism major. It was really simple (ex. how do you spell this word, is this a pronoun or an adverb, etc), and a third grader could probably pull it off.

    What they surprise you with after the LST is the AIT, the Academic Integrity Test. It's a 20 question test designed to assure the university that the student understands the code of conduct. Sounds simple right?


    They give you a Scantron, a test booklet, and a booklet containing the code of conduct. I shit you not, it was 10 pages. That's right folks, 10 pages explaining what happens if the student breaks the code. And it read like the fucking Constitution.

    The first three questions were your simple, "What is cheating? Define misconduct, etc." Then it turned into something that made me feel like I was taking an exam for Law School. "SECTION 2.3.2 SUBSET A STATES THAT IF A STUDENT APPLIES FOR A HEARING WITH THE DEAN IN THE PROVOST OFFICE OF THE SUPREME CHANCELLOR OF NABOO, THE STUDENT IS SUBJECT TO, a) execution, b) feeling the true power of the dark side, c) sucking the headmaster's cock, d) abiding by the code in section 4.4.2 subset b paragraph 3, e) none of the above.

    Believe it or not, I was giving the test too much credit with that exaggerated question. They didn't tell you where to look, and the questions did not follow the order of the code. Every question was very specific, making me flip through the pages vigorously and skimming every paragraph for at least a hint of what I wanted. The answer was always hidden away in some obscure location of the 10-page shit heap.

    I have a better idea. Instead of spending time printing something that looks like a damn law book, make the code simple:

    Chapter 1, Section 1, Subset A, Paragraph 1


    There. That would save a lot of money in paper and ink. Stop with the fucking semantics. The reason most of the students don't understand the code is because the university acts like its own fucking country and has to make specific rules for every little thing.

    If the kid is in college, chances are, he/she doesn't plan on cheating. And if he/she has cheated or is currently cheating in the university, he/she is already punishing him/herself for the future when he/she gets a job but doesn't know what the hell he/she doing because of cheating through college, and gets fired the next day for not doing the job correctly.

    You're in college for an education, and of course the occasional beer bong or two. The point is, if you made it into college and want the education you're paying for, it's safe to say that you probably aren't that big of a cheater.

    Oh, and get this fucking irony. They spend so much time putting unnecessary semantics in the code, but don't understand the concept of an accident. If you forget to put quotes around another person's work, it's considered plagiarism and you can get expelled for it.:icon_eek:

    Well, I'm preparing to get news that I failed the horse shit AIT and will probably have to take it again. Hopefully I passed by a smidgen and will never have to worry about it, but I doubt that's the case.

    10 pages. 10 fucking pages to say something as simple as, "don't be an asshole." Ugh.
  2. Chino Kapone

    Chino Kapone Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?

    Jun 10, 2005
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    now that shit was funny. i can see how you are a journalism major.

    good luck bro....
  3. Buster H

    Buster H Alt-F4
    Wackbag Staff

    Dec 6, 2004
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    another FU thread from shooter? whooda thunk it?:action-sm

    actually, I'd be pretty fucking pissed if I had to take a stupid test like that too
  4. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

    Sep 15, 2004
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    You should have excused yourself to the bathroom and taken a dump, then wiped your ass with the booklet.
  5. TreeFortRichard

    Jun 30, 2005
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    you should have just copied off the guy next to you...come on...
  6. Budyzir

    Budyzir There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum.

    Nov 12, 2004
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    West Point has distilled their code of conduct to a single and simple sentence of only 12 words, the Honor Code; "A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do."

    Nuff said.
  7. B54

    B54 Ω

    Jan 6, 2006
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    I had to take the that test 4 times, every year in High School, it was the same test, and we could use the booklet, and the teacher even would say all but 5 were false.

    One of the questions was, "What are the repercussions of bringing a firearm/explosive and using it to harm other students in a violent matter?" A) Apology to those involved B) Three day In-School Suspension C) One day Out-of School Suspension D) Expulsion and Criminal Persecution
  8. thetick130

    thetick130 Trying hard not to kill my dog

    Aug 16, 2006
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    sounds like horseshit rules that can easily be explained in few words.
    My school is the same way... we have fucking trials with student jurors and laywers to decide if action "needs" to be taken against these assholes. fucking awful dragged out, worthless, overworded shit
  9. DanaReevesLungs

    DanaReevesLungs I can keep rhythm with no metronome...

    Jun 9, 2005
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    Did any of the questions involve how long it takes to lay a full yard of sod? Or how to conduct one's self as a member of the Belarussian military?
  10. FAngel

    FAngel I Drink YOUR Milkshake!

    Mar 2, 2005
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    Shooter is back in the FU thread, and all is right with the world...

    Yeah, college is a shitload of fuck. SO glad I graduated two months ago.:icon_mrgr

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