So today I reactivated my facebook account because I got annoyed by everyone sending me invites to join. I've deactivated my Facebook twice already due to my disgust for the site. But just to make people stop bothering me, I reactivated it and will just let it sit there. This is the blog, or "note," that I just posted on my Facebook profile, and I thought it would be suitable for an FU as well. I realize there are some hypocrisies, but regardless of that I do believe I am making a good point. Enjoy. You win, fuckers. I've gotten 3 Facebook invites in the past week from you people. I tried to ignore them, but I figured what the hell. But just so we are clear, I will not log on often. Why do I hate this stupid site? Sit down and let me learn you something. I never really enjoyed Facebook. I don't like the idea of a few thousand people who hate each other using an online "friend" registry to stalk everyone they know. Half the people on my list of "friends" aren't even people that I hang out with. You people just add me to your list because you went to my high school or you're in one of my classes and you want to learn everything about what is going on with my life. You will then use the information to as gossip to share with your friends at the next party that you are snapping pictures of so you can show everyone on Facebook that you are cool because you drink. You occasionally consume alcohol? Really? Well, welcome to the rest of the country, jackass. Beer is a refreshment, not a social statement. I'm all for getting hammered, but don't expect me to send you comments on your wall about how drunk we were last weekend or how wasted we are going to get on Friday night. "Hey everyone, look at my wacky status message! Yeah, it says I'm 'bringing sexy back.' You know, like that song. I'm so witty and original." Could you people stop trying to be clever with your stupid status messages? Everyone types in something that they think is hilarious for a status message, hoping that someone on their friend list is reading it and chuckling. Guess what, asshole. NO ONE IS LAUGHING. This applies to MySpace as well. Tommy Smith is married to Joe Dickless. "HAHA look guys my friend and I have our profiles set to married status. We aren't really married, of course, we just thought it would be a really comical and original idea. AREN'T WE FUNNY?" No, you're not. "Hey, dude, lets put that we are brothers and we met in 1969 hahaha 69 get it?" No, I don't. Stop it. Name: John 'Slim Pickins' McGee "Hey look everyone, I gave myself a nickname. Aren't I awesome?" Yeah, awesome. "HA! No one calls me Slim Pickins', I just think it's really funny and cool so I put it as my Facebook name. Hey dude, call me Slim Pickins' at the next party so it catches on. Tag the photos as Slim Pickins' too! EL OH EL." "Mick Mistcunt invites you to join the I LOVED SHOUTING RACIAL EPITHETS AT JIMMY'S PARTY group" Great, a whole group dedicated to an inside joke. I'm sure that's not going to annoy anyone. Go fuck yourselves. It's not just the people that annoy me. It's the site's layout. Facebook is completely lacking personality. It's more of an elaborate version of the white pages than it is a social network. Everything Facebook claims to offer is very limited. They compensate for this by allowing unlimited photos, but who the hell has time to browse through thousands of pictures of dopes doing keg stands? You guys. Seriously, you guys. Did you hear that Betsy removed Michael Buble from her favorite music list? Does Facebook really need to allow this? Sure, you can adjust the settings to prevent this information from coming in, but you know there are some compulsive assholes out there that just have to keep all the sliders up and running, just in case anything important happens. To the news feed I say: Who gives a shit? Then there's the wall. This is where Facebook is really lacking as far as its competition with MySpace. No HTML is allowed, meaning people are not able to share hilarious inappropriate photos or videos with me. Now, I'll agree that both Facebook and MySpace are equally a waste of time, but at least MySpace has personality. Right now I'm writing a "Note." You see, Facebook can't call it a blog because for some reason everything has to be themed for students. (Students don't write blogs?) I'm not taking any notes, morons. I'm expressing myself creatively. So keeping with the theme, I guess you could say I'm doodling. Wocka wocka. Notes. Ugh. Just call it a fucking blog you pretentious pricks. I still despise Facebook, but I reactivated my account just to shut you people up. I might log on occasionally, but only if someone leaves something on my wall or requests my "friendship." See you faggots later.