FU Facebook

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#1
So today I reactivated my facebook account because I got annoyed by everyone sending me invites to join. I've deactivated my Facebook twice already due to my disgust for the site. But just to make people stop bothering me, I reactivated it and will just let it sit there.

This is the blog, or "note," that I just posted on my Facebook profile, and I thought it would be suitable for an FU as well. I realize there are some hypocrisies, but regardless of that I do believe I am making a good point. Enjoy.



You win, fuckers. I've gotten 3 Facebook invites in the past week from you people. I tried to ignore them, but I figured what the hell. But just so we are clear, I will not log on often. Why do I hate this stupid site? Sit down and let me learn you something.


I never really enjoyed Facebook. I don't like the idea of a few thousand people who hate each other using an online "friend" registry to stalk everyone they know.

Half the people on my list of "friends" aren't even people that I hang out with. You people just add me to your list because you went to my high school or you're in one of my classes and you want to learn everything about what is going on with my life. You will then use the information to as gossip to share with your friends at the next party that you are snapping pictures of so you can show everyone on Facebook that you are cool because you drink. You occasionally consume alcohol? Really? Well, welcome to the rest of the country, jackass. Beer is a refreshment, not a social statement. I'm all for getting hammered, but don't expect me to send you comments on your wall about how drunk we were last weekend or how wasted we are going to get on Friday night.

"Hey everyone, look at my wacky status message! Yeah, it says I'm 'bringing sexy back.' You know, like that song. I'm so witty and original." Could you people stop trying to be clever with your stupid status messages? Everyone types in something that they think is hilarious for a status message, hoping that someone on their friend list is reading it and chuckling. Guess what, asshole. NO ONE IS LAUGHING. This applies to MySpace as well.

Tommy Smith is married to Joe Dickless. "HAHA look guys my friend and I have our profiles set to married status. We aren't really married, of course, we just thought it would be a really comical and original idea. AREN'T WE FUNNY?" No, you're not. "Hey, dude, lets put that we are brothers and we met in 1969 hahaha 69 get it?" No, I don't. Stop it.

Name: John 'Slim Pickins' McGee
"Hey look everyone, I gave myself a nickname. Aren't I awesome?" Yeah, awesome. "HA! No one calls me Slim Pickins', I just think it's really funny and cool so I put it as my Facebook name. Hey dude, call me Slim Pickins' at the next party so it catches on. Tag the photos as Slim Pickins' too! EL OH EL."

"Mick Mistcunt invites you to join the I LOVED SHOUTING RACIAL EPITHETS AT JIMMY'S PARTY group" Great, a whole group dedicated to an inside joke. I'm sure that's not going to annoy anyone. Go fuck yourselves.

It's not just the people that annoy me. It's the site's layout. Facebook is completely lacking personality. It's more of an elaborate version of the white pages than it is a social network. Everything Facebook claims to offer is very limited. They compensate for this by allowing unlimited photos, but who the hell has time to browse through thousands of pictures of dopes doing keg stands?

You guys. Seriously, you guys. Did you hear that Betsy removed Michael Buble from her favorite music list? Does Facebook really need to allow this? Sure, you can adjust the settings to prevent this information from coming in, but you know there are some compulsive assholes out there that just have to keep all the sliders up and running, just in case anything important happens. To the news feed I say: Who gives a shit?

Then there's the wall. This is where Facebook is really lacking as far as its competition with MySpace. No HTML is allowed, meaning people are not able to share hilarious inappropriate photos or videos with me. Now, I'll agree that both Facebook and MySpace are equally a waste of time, but at least MySpace has personality.

Right now I'm writing a "Note." You see, Facebook can't call it a blog because for some reason everything has to be themed for students. (Students don't write blogs?) I'm not taking any notes, morons. I'm expressing myself creatively. So keeping with the theme, I guess you could say I'm doodling. Wocka wocka. Notes. Ugh. Just call it a fucking blog you pretentious pricks.

I still despise Facebook, but I reactivated my account just to shut you people up. I might log on occasionally, but only if someone leaves something on my wall or requests my "friendship."

See you faggots later.
 

MAV

Registered User
Nov 23, 2005
10,578
1
368
Denver, CO
#2
i have the same disgust for that shithole of a site. nothing there is user friendly. i had to activate it again for a request. ugh.

facebook blows penguin dick
 

ImAlrightSpider

I paid $2 a month for O&A and I LIKED it!
Feb 20, 2006
824
1
0
Natick, MA
#4
I actually like it, but I admit that I don't use it much. I prefer it over MySpace because there are no annoying songs to load/listen to. Also, I appreciate that you use your real name, so you have a chance to actually link up with people you know.
 
Jan 3, 2006
2,581
0
0
In Fleas Mom's Box
#5
I'm on Facebook. I'm in every O&A and R&F group. I'm friends with Lil' Jimmy, Casey Elan McDonald, Dugout Doug, Steve C, Pitz. Look me up. My first name is Dave. As for my last name...well...happy guessing!
 
Nov 29, 2006
3,452
374
523
FL
#6
I'm on Facebook. I'm in every O&A and R&F group. I'm friends with Lil' Jimmy, Casey Elan McDonald, Dugout Doug, Steve C, Pitz. Look me up. My first name is Dave. As for my last name...well...happy guessing!
Shooter gave me plenty of reasons not to go to facebook. This post sealed the deal.
 

FAngel

I Drink YOUR Milkshake!
Mar 2, 2005
3,161
1
0
Bethlehem, PA
#7
I got roped into it for a while, but as soon as I graduated in May, I quit using the goddamn thing. Waste of time for every single reason that Shooter posted.
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,294
3,592
623
philly
#8
I never bothered with it because I don't want to have to deal with pretty much anyone I went to school with. Anyone that I did, I stayed in contact with. The rest, fuck 'em.
 

Beeman99

Registered User
Mar 14, 2005
13,787
2
0
#9
I fucking hate Facebook. I made a profile there, realized that all the fucking cunts and cocks I went to school with are still living in that era, fuck that cuntshit. I deleted it and haven't gone back. I was going to go to my 10 year HS reunion, but after seeing them on Facebook, I ain't fucking going. I'll sit at home, drink beer, and fuck my gf.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#10
I fucking hate Facebook. I made a profile there, realized that all the fucking cunts and cocks I went to school with are still living in that era, fuck that cuntshit. I deleted it and haven't gone back. I was going to go to my 10 year HS reunion, but after seeing them on Facebook, I ain't fucking going. I'll sit at home, drink beer, and fuck my gf.
Exactly.

NO ONE wants to stay in contact with people they went to high school with. NO ONE likes ANYONE they went to high school with.

And another thing I forgot to mention, since I was unaware that they added an applications thing:

YOU CAN'T USE APPLICATIONS ON ANOTHER PERSON'S PROFILE UNLESS YOU HAVE THE APPLICATION YOURSELF.

So now I have a shitload of apps on my stupid profile just because I wanted to test them out on someone else's. It's fucking retarded.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
49,332
37,391
628
In a porn tree
#11
Forget ALL of that cyberfriends nonsense... Myspace, Facebook, Lonelyfuck.com, etc... Pathetic, attention-whoring waste of time. You might as well start up a deep, meaningful relationship with your toaster oven.

Choose life, people. Choose life.
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,294
3,592
623
philly
#12
Exactly.

NO ONE wants to stay in contact with people they went to high school with. NO ONE likes ANYONE they went to high school with.
That's not always true. One of my best friends went to my high school. Though he was a year ahead of me and we didn't start hanging out til a year after I graduated.
Ok, I guess that probably doesn't count.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#13
That's not always true. One of my best friends went to my high school. Though he was a year ahead of me and we didn't start hanging out til a year after I graduated.
Ok, I guess that probably doesn't count.
You keep AT MOST 3 friends with you from high school for your life. All the rest of your life-long friends come from college and people you meet in bars and such. Me, I have 2 friends from high school that I still hang out with. That's it.
 

OxBabygirlxO

I put the baby in babyfuck
May 20, 2006
1,939
0
0
New Jersey
#14
wow little brother tell me how you really feel!!!!! and arent you the one who made me sign up??????? <3 miss you

You keep AT MOST 3 friends with you from high school for your life. All the rest of your life-long friends come from college and people you meet in bars and such. Me, I have 2 friends from high school that I still hang out with. That's it.
do those two friends sing disey songs :)
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#16
There's too much SHIT on this site. It's trying to compete with MySpace and it's sucking at it. I logged in because I got an email saying I had an invitation. Then you have to CONFIRM how you know people? Fuck off! Now they have some virtual poker thing and you can give people pretend gifts and poke them? Jesus christ, jesus christ.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#17
AHHHHH

STOP tagging me!!!!!!!!

I hate going through every photo on someone's profile removing my name from it. Christ. Do people not understand employers look at facebook? Fucking idiots
 

norton23

Opie And Anthony Always Win In The End
Dec 1, 2002
8,998
3
0
TITLE TOWN BABY!!!
#18
I never had a facebook and never even heard about it untill my girlfriend told me about it. I had heard about myspace but also never joined untill my g/f. I figured "ill go on lol fuck around and see what I find" Well I found a bunch of College friends on myspace which was cool for about two seconds and then I started feeling really weird and nostalgic,,,most people on there are o and a fans that I don't even know and don't even look at there profiles just figured it was the thing to do to invite them,,,

Now with facebook same thing in terms of o and a fans,,,however I started getting invites from high school kids who basically wanted to show me that they are married and have graduated from great institutions well FUCK OFF!!!! In addition every time I sighn on there's new shit all over the place

"andy is now friends with Jamie" Jamie is now friends with andy chris is now friends with blah blah blah...James now has top friends list...OH AND MY FAVORITE= "send your friends a gift" WTF??!?!?! A gift is a stupid picture of a beer or soda how shitty is that and what is the point. AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE= "YOU HAVE BEEN POKED BY BLAH BLAH" Don't fucking poke me to let me know your breathing I DON'T CARE!

AND to top it off I had to delete a bunch of people because my g/f got pissed there were too many women on there...I told her they are all O and A fans or old friends from back in the day, or family....:arrrh:
 

TrashyMags

Registered User
Jul 28, 2007
221
0
116
#19
QFT, Shooter.
I have a myspace page I opened shortly after the fad began, but it's stayed blank. No photos, no dumb quotes or photos. Why, because exactly what Shooter said, PEOPLE OTHER THAN YOUR AND YOUR DRUNK FRIENDS READ THESE THINGS. A person I knew was FIRED from a job because another worker, who had a grudge, found out what that person wrote about and brought it to the boss. If you don't ever want to do anything in your life other than slam vodka and Red bulls and show your boobs off, by all means, keep it up. But like Shooter said, alcohol's a drink not a social statement, quoting other people's humor does not make you funny and having 10,000 MySpace or Facebook friends does not mean you're popular. It means your a shallow alocholic who people probably avoid in real life so you invest more in your online "persona" than working out whatever shit keeps you from having a fun, less-alcohol-soaked meaningful life.
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
7,347
0
261
On the road to ruin
#20
I'm on Facebook. I'm in every O&A and R&F group. I'm friends with Lil' Jimmy, Casey Elan McDonald, Dugout Doug, Steve C, Pitz. Look me up. My first name is Dave. As for my last name...well...happy guessing!
Looks like someone forgot that he posted his full name, phone number, and email address on Wackbag a while back. :action-sm

I would re-post it all, but it is against WB rules.