FU fat human resources bitch

demonseed

Lingering since 1999
Oct 4, 2004
3,939
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Morris Plains, New Jersey
#1
So I work for a company for which I am in charge of approx 50 employees. We are in the middle of an ice storm. We have a policy, due to insurance regulations set forth by our HR department, that employees can not bring there children to work.
So anyway, I have 4 people out today because the day care centers in this county are closed, and they cant bring there children to work.

So I just go downstairs and the human resources cunt is down there with her daughter.. So I got into it with her and told her she was out of regulations, etc.. Since I am a higher level of management, I told her she has to go home and take a vacation day for the rest of the day. She told me that since she is a manager, she falls under different regulations than most of the employees in the building.. I disagreed, told her she has ten minutes to leave the building, or else I would have her terminated.
 

sbrainb

Go suck a bag of dicks.
Jul 27, 2007
1,244
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New York City
#2
I disagreed, told her she has ten minutes to leave the building, or else I would have her terminated.
:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: Good for you.

I fucking HATE corporate bullshit like that. It doesn't matter how good of a company it is, there is ALWAYS that shit going on. The human resource "liason" here (since our parent company is HUGE) is a stupid lazy cunt bitch.
 

demonseed

Lingering since 1999
Oct 4, 2004
3,939
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Morris Plains, New Jersey
#3
Even though her direct report works out of another office, I have the right to terminate for cause any employee that is of a lower level than me.. Since I am the highest level employee in this building, I could have just fired her, but I gave her a chance.
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
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On the road to ruin
#4
Did she leave or call her boss?

And BTW, there is nothing I hate more than people bringing their kids to work. Especially ones who are sick.
 

demonseed

Lingering since 1999
Oct 4, 2004
3,939
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Morris Plains, New Jersey
#5
I called her boss, who is on the same level as me (we are both directors). i explained the situatin and told her that I would like her to leave becuase it isnt fair to the other 125 employees at this facility who were not allowed to bring there kids in.. She told me I did the right thing and to have her leave for the day.
 

sbrainb

Go suck a bag of dicks.
Jul 27, 2007
1,244
0
0
New York City
#6
Even though her direct report works out of another office, I have the right to terminate for cause any employee that is of a lower level than me.. Since I am the highest level employee in this building, I could have just fired her, but I gave her a chance.
Sounds like quite a nice little fiefdom you've got going on there...
 

demonseed

Lingering since 1999
Oct 4, 2004
3,939
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311
Morris Plains, New Jersey
#7
Sounds like quite a nice little fiefdom you've got going on there...
yeah, and its very hard for me to not invoke that right on a daily basis.. Actually in 2+ years in this company, I have never terminated anyone that does not report directly to me.. Even though I have the right to do so, I dont want to step on any of my peer's toes.
 

Budyzir

There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum.
Nov 12, 2004
7,307
1
0
Queens, NY
#9
Great read; "You are the LAWGIVER!"

I'm lucky, I don't have to interact with any of those bags of fecal waste. In my office, it's all engineers and we're all peers. It makes for a very relaxed environment.
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#12
I would've asked her to show me where in the rules & regs that is says no children are allowed to be brought to work except if you're management.

I hate working with people who have the attitude that because they're in management the "rules" don't apply to them. My supervisors are very good to us, but because they don't have to clock in and out, they'll disappear after lunch even though they're supposed to be there until 5. Or they'll stroll in at 11. Meantime, if we clock in at 9:01 we're screwed that minute.
 

Debbie1125

Registered User
Mar 4, 2007
1,210
1
178
Philly, PA
#14
Did she leave or call her boss?

And BTW, there is nothing I hate more than people bringing their kids to work. Especially ones who are sick.
:clap: Same here. Do they have that stupid day in April where you work too, where parents bring their kids in? Whoever thought of that, should have the ass kicked. Last year one of the brats moved my XM antenna from a perfect reception position to a lousy one. It took me about 30 minutes to fix the problem.
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,623
5,081
568
Wyoming
#16
You're in charge of people and don't know the proper use of "there" and "their"? :D



(just busting balls of course)
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
7,347
0
491
On the road to ruin
#17
:clap: Same here. Do they have that stupid day in April where you work too, where parents bring their kids in? Whoever thought of that, should have the ass kicked. Last year one of the brats moved my XM antenna from a perfect reception position to a lousy one. It took me about 30 minutes to fix the problem.
We don't participate in Take Your Spawn to Work Day. One of the very few benefits of working for a private owner.
 

sbrainb

Go suck a bag of dicks.
Jul 27, 2007
1,244
0
0
New York City
#19
As of last year, we stopped partaking in "bring your kid to work day"
Yeah that shit gets annoying. Especially when it's a whole bunch of parents bringing in their kid. I don't mind the occasional "hey my kid is coming in the late afternoon because we're all leaving for vacation right after work" or some shit like that, but if they're around all day I just want to start punting them all over the place.
 

jimmyslostchin

Malarkey is slang for bullshit isn't it?
Jun 8, 2005
2,331
50
313
NJ
#20
Yeah that shit gets annoying. Especially when it's a whole bunch of parents bringing in their kid. I don't mind the occasional "hey my kid is coming in the late afternoon because we're all leaving for vacation right after work" or some shit like that, but if they're around all day I just want to start punting them all over the place.
I <3 you. "Punting them all over the place." That visual cracked me up. :clap:

One of the downsides of being in a "family" restaurant are the ever present children. Every now and then you just wanna throw hot soup on the little fuckers, and their parents.
 

sbrainb

Go suck a bag of dicks.
Jul 27, 2007
1,244
0
0
New York City
#21
One of the downsides of being in a "family" restaurant are the ever present children. Every now and then you just wanna throw hot soup on the little fuckers, and their parents.
Ever seen that episode of Family Guy where Brian loses his shit at a restaurant when a baby starts crying?
 

jimmyslostchin

Malarkey is slang for bullshit isn't it?
Jun 8, 2005
2,331
50
313
NJ
#22
Ever seen that episode of Family Guy where Brian loses his shit at a restaurant when a baby starts crying?
Of course, Family Guy is like my bible. "You just shut this out don't you?! WAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAAA!!!!! How do you like it!!! Huh?! WAAAA WAAAA WAAAA!!!" Priceless.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#23
I bring my dog to work sometimes (pussy magnet installed). My ex buisness partner would bring his spawn to work and that shit got old quick. It sucks when im trying to sell a $4000 sofa and this brat runs up and punches you in the thigh or balls. One time he took a piece of real shitty styrofoam and got it on a ton of shit. Im talking 1000 sq ft of furniture covered in itty bitty pea sized pieces of staticy foam. I was soooo pissed. the kid had to hide under one of our beds for 10 minutes.
 

Debbie1125

Registered User
Mar 4, 2007
1,210
1
178
Philly, PA
#24
I <3 you. "Punting them all over the place." That visual cracked me up. :clap:

And punt

As of last year, we stopped partaking in "bring your kid to work day"

There's not much chance of that happening where I am, unfortunately. A majority of the department employees are women. I just take a day off now to avoid the kids........and I make sure to put my XM antenna in a safe place.
 

foyb

Registered User
Mar 18, 2007
343
10
393
Crawfordsville, IN
#25
Our HR lady has always been nice to me. I went to school with her daughter, plus since I'm the IT guy, if she wants her shit fixed when something breaks, she's gotta be nice.

Do you have a special antenna for your XM. I can't get a signal in my office to save my ass