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FU: Lazy Dog Owner

Discussion in 'What the F??!?' started by Motor Head, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    Once again I caught the neighbor lady letting her fucking mutt shit on my lawn. This time I called her out on it. She ignored me yelling at her to pick up her dog's shit and sprinted home. 20 minutes later I have a deputy sheriff knocking at my door, laughing his ass off because she is demanding I be arrested for yelling at her and being rude. Plus I scared her dog, and that's why it shit on my lawn.

    Basically she claimed that I just walked out of my house screaming at her and my screaming made the dog shit on my lawn. So the deputy tells her to keep her dog and her dog's shit off my lawn. She then says "your all just sticking up for each other". Her last words as she went inside her house were "I know the mayor and he (me) is as good as fired".

    My wife has already had words with her before. She likes to complain about my "commercial vehicle" being parked on the street or in my driveway, making the neighborhood look trashy.

    I hope she doesn't do any speeding around here.:trollol:
     
  2. jnoble

    jnoble Registered User

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    Pissing off and threatening a neighbor who is a cop just because she's a bitch. That's a wise move.
     
  3. Chino Kapone

    Chino Kapone Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
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    You should have some coworkers slowly drive by her house a couple times a week shining their spotlights into and around her house. They can just say they are looking for 3 black perps who are doing home invasion's in the area.
     
  4. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    That's part of the problem. She knows she can fuck with me because if I overreact I could lose my job. The first thought that crossed my mind (I had to beat it back with a baseball bat) was to grab a glove, pick up the shit and then rub it on her front door. I'm 99% sure that's exactly what I would have done if I still worked in the family trucking business. I did shit like that back then. If you pissed me off, you got dealt with.
     
  5. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    That would be retribution, and I leave that to God.
     
  6. Ballbuster1

    Wackbag Staff

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    I had a neighbor that let his dog shit on my lawn.

    I just went out, picked it up with a scoop and went to his house
    and dropped it on his sidewalk leading to his front door.

    He stopped after the 3rd time.
     
  7. Yesterdays Hero

    Yesterdays Hero She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
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    This is SOP for dealing with fuckwits.
     
  8. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?
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    Ummm commercial vehicle... ergo your marked cruiser?

    Have you thought about being a K9 officer... as Malinois and GSDs tend to take big shits... just saying.
     
  9. chiapeteater

    chiapeteater ¡¡¡¡sıʞunɹɹɹɹɹɹɹℲ
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    My cousin has 3 St. Bernards and I would be happy to collect their "droppings" for a month and then ship them to you so you could "fertilize" her lawn if you like. Her lawn would look like a Korean mine field by the time you were done.
     
  10. Chino Kapone

    Chino Kapone Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
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    Just go here....

    http://www.poopsenders.com/

     
  11. CougarHunter

    CougarHunter Lying causes cat piss smell.

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    Go to a sale and get one of those silver water can fire extinguishers, the kind with a schrader valve on the neck by the gauge. You can fill those up with whatever you want and pressurize them with an air compressor. They have a good steady stream, hold alot, and are very quiet.

    I filled one up with round up once. I go for 4am walks when the weather is nice and as a hobby, I would spray a neighbors yard damn near up to his house without leaving the sidewalk. It was a challenge to get grass to grow for a couple years. Also every juniper in the yard started mysteriously turning brown.
     
  12. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    When I lived on Long Island, I had a big, fat Vinny Bagadonuts wop greaseball neighbor over my back fence. He was pissed after I got his ridiculous back yard batting cage project shut down, so in retaliation he'd walk his big, fat wop greaseball dog around the block every night and have it shit on my lawn. No problem. I scooped all of the shit, saved it in a bucket, and about every two weeks I'd empty the bucket... over my back fence and into Vinny's pool. It took the dumb dago months to figure out that he was getting the worst of that deal before he finally gave up on it.
     
  13. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    Yes, my marked state patrol car. I have no interest in switching to the K9 unit. It's just not my thing.

    I do like the idea of having poo mailed to her. Interesting.
     
  14. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    I remember you telling us about this in one of the "bash the homeowners association" threads. You and I, as fellow fancy men decided to live in places where a neighbor can't put a 1975 Camaro in the front lawn and use it for a doghouse for their 10 smelly hound dogs. Or paint the house Pepto pink.
     
  15. WOWmagnet

    WOWmagnet Bulbar Urethra
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    Bingo. Almost makes me miss the suburbs.
     
  16. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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    No need to speak in code, we all know you're talking about The Fez Man.
     
  17. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    Fresh dog shit right next to the drivers door of my patrol car out in the fucking driveway. I went out to get the mail, and there it was. My wife said it wasn't there when she came home. The neighbor saw her standing next to my patrol car with her dog. This is it. The neighbor kid owes me a favor, after I decided not to rat him out to his folks. He is going to be my avenging angel.

    They say "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." One for her, and one for her soft serve shitting mutt.
     
  18. Rash Rendering

    Rash Rendering Registered User

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    awwwshit! What's the game plan?
     
  19. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    I'm thinking a bucket of dog shit. Between my boxer Blutto, and my neighbors huskies over the course of a week we should have a nice small bucket of shit. Hand it off to the neighbor kid, dump on her front porch. Called my neighbor, the fireman, and he is on board.

    Shit (literally) just got real.
     
  20. WhiteHonkyDevil

    WhiteHonkyDevil El hombre de los moleculos!

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    Take pictures....we won't tell anyone
     
  21. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    That's the beauty of it, my neighborhood avenging angel is a kid. They know all that technical shit. He can blur house numbers and faces. Now I just have to convince him to do it.
     
  22. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?
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    I don't... luckily when I walk the dog here and she takes a shit within a couple of days something (prob a fox or a coyote) eats it...
     
  23. Hudson

    Hudson Supreme Champion!!!!!
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    Soo she's making threats against a State Trooper..has exhibited sociopathic, erratic, and harassing behavior on numerous occasions...yup sounds like a 302 committal to me.
     
  24. Chino Kapone

    Chino Kapone Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
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    [​IMG]
     
  25. domelogic

    domelogic Registered User

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    That sucks. I cant stand people like that. Thankfully the majority of my neighbors make sure their dogs crap in their yard or carry a bag to pick it up when walking them. I have thrown my dogs shit in my neighbors yard after they have acted like assholes. Sometimes life would be much easier if we could just deal with a problem like this and end things.

    Oh and I would have appreciated a cop car in front of my house
     

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