Why is it that when I have to drop into Wally World at midnight on a Friday, in lily-white Mechanicsburg, it is inevitable that I'll get stuck behind at least 2 n****r women with their fucking kids with a cart piled up with crap and they'll spend half an hour saying "oh, take that off, I don't want that" from their total? Corollary: Why is it that when I drop into a Wal-Mart in black-as-night Harrisburg at 6 am on a Monday, you'd think I was in 1930s Germany? Not a single black person to be found. YOU HAVE A FUCKING SMART PHONE. IF YOUR WAL-MART BILL IS LIKELY TO CAUSE YOU A PROBLEM, USE THE DAMN CALCULATOR ON THE PHONE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS. Not that you should be in Wal-Mart at midnight any fucking way. You are keeping your kids up at midnight. This is why they can't read or do math, you silly bitches. They don't get a good night's sleep. Yes, that's only a small problem out of many, many problems, but it's not a terribly hard one to fix. You put them to bed, you wake them up, you train them to get used to being awake when the productive world is awake. Not that you are, are you? And your brain (such as it is) isn't working too well at midnight, even though you just woke up about 3 hours ago. Especially if you're poor, don't spend money when your brain isn't functioning. You'll make bad decisions, and you can't afford to make bad decisions with your money. This is why my relatives on the other side of the planet are going to conquer all of you. Really. I have spent the last few days shepherding around some VIP friends of my uncle. Like, if you wanted to sell China any coal in the last 20 years, you needed this one guy's approval. Worth megabucks, looks for a bargain and spends as little as possible. The incredible contrast between him and the sheboons at Wal-Mart makes me glad that I have the connections to run a satrap when the Chinese take over. Damn you, all I wanted was a new toothbrush and a few cases of bottled water for tomorrow's interminable drive.