FU spiders...

Madness

Registered User
Dec 9, 2004
1,237
223
618
#1
I was working in the basement on Tuesday and one of the fuckers decided to bite me on the ear while I was setting up the television.

This morning rolls around and my ear is swollen to hell and it's spread to my face, neck, shoulders and chest. A doctor trip later and I've got fucking cellulitis. Got pumped full of steroids and I have to take antibiotics for the next 10 days. I'm also going to get a giant fucking bill out of this.

Fuck you spiders, I'm spraying the shit out of the foundation and basement this weekend.
 

CousinDave

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
25,297
198
393
Ohio
#2
Get the insecticide powder and spread it all around the outside of the house, this will help keep other bugs from getting inside, if there are not bugs inside you won't have any spiders because the spiders feed on other bugs - then let off a bunch of bug bombs inside to kill anything in the basement

One of those fuckers bit me on the knee when I was 10 or 11 in FL and I still have the scar from it

about 2 years ago one of them got in one of my cousins shoes and bit her on the toe, and it looked so bad you'd want to cut it off

There are black widows around here as well, but you never hear of anyone getting bit by one. Another cousin of mine caught a couple and kept them in jars.

Outside I see wolf spiders the size of mice - you get bit by one and its going to hurt but their venom isn't toxic to humans, they're just creepy to look at and they run fast.

Its those brown fuckers that are the problem
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#5
Get the insecticide powder and spread it all around the outside of the house, this will help keep other bugs from getting inside, if there are not bugs inside you won't have any spiders because the spiders feed on other bugs - then let off a bunch of bug bombs inside to kill anything in the basement

One of those fuckers bit me on the knee when I was 10 or 11 in FL and I still have the scar from it

about 2 years ago one of them got in one of my cousins shoes and bit her on the toe, and it looked so bad you'd want to cut it off

There are black widows around here as well, but you never hear of anyone getting bit by one. Another cousin of mine caught a couple and kept them in jars.

Outside I see wolf spiders the size of mice - you get bit by one and its going to hurt but their venom isn't toxic to humans, they're just creepy to look at and they run fast.

Its those brown fuckers that are the problem
Plus wolf spiders jump. There are some that if you go to smack them, they will jump towards you.

Had to have all my model homes sprayed, walked into one of the garages and there was a spider on the wall that was almost the size of my hand. Fuuuuu!!!!
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#6
Just had to kill one. He was walking down the hallway here at home. They are really bad this spring, but this guy was a tank. Went to smash him, and he ran under the closet door. I'm such a girl when it comes to spiders.
 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#7
can't believe how some people want to have them as pets, they fucking creep me out
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,573
22,233
398
Northern California
#8
Spiders don't intimidate me much for some reason... I don't think I've ever had a bad spider bite, even though I've worked in construction... sometimes on old houses/cabins out in the mountains where there are a lot of spiders.

Snakes, on the other hand, freak me out.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#9
This was about 2 weeks ago. Woke up to this nice bite. Still have a little spot.

I don't know how it was able to bite through all the hair.

 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#10
This was about 2 weeks ago. Woke up to this nice bite. Still have a little spot.

I don't know how it was able to bite through all the hair.

rub antiperspirant on it and make sure it has aluminum sulfite in it, because it will draw the poison out.

I got bit by a wolf spider and that made it better
 

jnoble

Lingering longer for a longering linger
Dec 4, 2005
9,146
4,588
566
New Jersey
#12
Spiders don't scare me in the least nor do snakes. I enjoy watching the webs outside my windows that they make sometimes and seeing them constantly fixing and making it bigger or taking it apart.
I'm just scared of anything that swarms and can attack in large numbers like wasps and hornets, etc.
 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#13
[video=youtube;4lYdD9DdLNY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lYdD9DdLNY[/video]

MaXXX Hardcore!!!
 

Cunt Smasher

Caligula Jr.
Aug 26, 2005
13,596
4,162
628
#14
In my kitchen, the kids about shit. Size of a 50c piece.
 

NuttyJim

Registered User
Feb 18, 2006
14,125
6,410
638
#15
I hate all spiders and snakes!
 

CousinDave

Registered User
Dec 11, 2007
25,297
198
393
Ohio
#16
I hate all spiders and snakes!

I don'y hate them because they do help control pests, I just don't want them inside or where I can see them.

I'll kill any venomous snake or spider on sight, even if an endangered species.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
32,840
4,566
898
Land of misfit toys
#18
Mwahahahahahahah!

2 people dead after swarms of venomous spiders invade Indian town

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/0...de-indian-town/?test=latestnews#ixzz1wnSJD5Tt
SADIYA, India – A town in India has suddenly been overrun by swarms of venomous spiders, leaving two people dead after being bitten.
It may sound like a B-grade horror movie, but residents of the town of Sadiya, in Assam state, say that on the evening of May 8 as they were celebrating a Hindu festival swarms of spiders suddenly appeared and attacked them, The Times of India reported.
Over the next few days two people -- a man, Purnakanta Buragohain, and an unnamed school boy -- died after being bitten by the spiders. Scores more turned up at the town's hospital with spider bites.
Local resident Jintu Gogoi spent a day in the hospital complaining of excruciating pain and nausea after being bitten. He said weeks later his finger was still blackened and swollen.
District authorities are also panicking -- and they are considering spraying the town with the insecticide DDT.
Locals say the most terrifying aspect is that spiders appear in swarms and their behavior is highly aggressive.
"It leaps at anything that comes close. Some of the victims claimed the spider latched on to them after biting. If that is so, it needs to be dealt with carefully. The chelicerae and fangs of this critter are quite powerful," head of the department of life sciences at Dibrugarh University Dr. L.R. Saikia said.
Teams of Indian arachnid experts have flocked to the town, hoping to identify the species, but so far they have drawn a blank.
They say it could be a tarantula, a black wishbone or even a funnel-web spider -- or it could be a whole new species.
One thing they agree on is that it is not native to the area as there is no record of venomous spiders in Assam. The black wishbone and funnel-web are native to Australia.
Researchers are also still running tests to find out the toxicity of the spiders' venom.
Dr. Anil Phatowali, superintendent of the town's hospital, said they had not administered antivenin as they could not be certain the spider was venomous at all.
He also pointed out other factors may have contributed to the two reported fatalities.
"All the bite patients first went to witch doctors, who cut open their wounds with razors, drained out blood and burnt it. That could have also made them sick," Phatowali said.


Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2012/0...de-indian-town/?test=latestnews#ixzz1wnSUkujd
 

CougarHunter

Lying causes cat piss smell.
Mar 2, 2006
10,598
2,574
566
KC Metro
#20
I had a tarantula for several years, and it was quite docile. The only things ever knew it to harm was crickets and a science teacher.
 

NikkorTheMonk

Registered User
Apr 26, 2005
1,524
54
473
#21
True fact: At any given time in your day you are no further then three feet from a spider.
 

WhiteHonkyDevil

El hombre de los moleculos!
Dec 8, 2004
10,929
959
628
Detroit, MI
#22
Fuck spiders. I was somewhere in upstate New York for a graduation party in 1997, and the people who I was staying with had me stay in the basement. I had never seen so many different types and sizes of spiders.

Of fucking course, I got bit on the face while I slept. Half of my face swelled up to the point that I looked like the Elephant Man. About a week later, the swelling had gone down just enough to see the bite, so I squeezed the shit out of the swollen parts of my face. Much like a zit, it exploded pus. A lot of pus. High pressure, fire hydrant style. I then milked my own face for the next HOUR AND A HALF to get everything out from under my skin. There's still a little piece of solid something at the bite site, 15 years later.
 

Motor Head

HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL
Jan 23, 2006
10,385
419
243
Land of hicks and rubes.
#23
Fuck spiders. I was somewhere in upstate New York for a graduation party in 1997, and the people who I was staying with had me stay in the basement. I had never seen so many different types and sizes of spiders.

Of fucking course, I got bit on the face while I slept. Half of my face swelled up to the point that I looked like the Elephant Man. About a week later, the swelling had gone down just enough to see the bite, so I squeezed the shit out of the swollen parts of my face. Much like a zit, it exploded pus. A lot of pus. High pressure, fire hydrant style. I then milked my own face for the next HOUR AND A HALF to get everything out from under my skin. There's still a little piece of solid something at the bite site, 15 years later.
I had the same thing happen when I was a kid. I had this marble sized stone on my thigh for a few years. I finally got some rubbing alcohol and cut the spot open. I plucked out what I can only describe as a white stone. I'm not sure what it was, but the spot I dug it out of to this day is a dead spot under the skin. You touch it and it sinks about 1/2 inch before you hit fat/muscle.

I had a spider problem at my house. I had a bug guy tell me to close my curtains at night because the light was attracting flying instincts to my windows and the spiders were quickly setting up shop. So I close all my shades at night and like magic the spiders went to better hunting grounds.
 

lockjaaaaww

All out of Bubble Gum.
Apr 26, 2008
15,454
75
188
bohemia, ny
#24
I crawl under decks all the time and everytime I have to throw sand at webs to clear out the spiders. I know one day I'm gonna run into a brown recluse and that will be the end of me. I have bite marks all over my body but I think most if not all of them are tick bites. Fucks ticks also.