FU to Clubsoda Kenny

It's been almost two years but this one episode of my life will always remain my worst nightmare. Not many people here might care but I just have to rant about it a little. So you either keep reading or you don't. Make up your mind you tool :p because this is not a short post...

Now. Here's the story. In November of 1999 I flew into Vegas from half a world away. I'm over here now... but back then I was over there. Ya hear? Now that we established that, let's move on, shall we? I had this one screenplay titled Standoff Comedy. One of the main characters is a spoof on Stallone and I think that Dice is perfect for the part. I tried to locate his agent but found nothing but a bunch of ex-s (publicists, agents, etc).

My friends in Vegas told me that Dice was performing at the Hilton. I asked them to book me a show ticket. I'm coming over. I was only 17, naive and full of hopes. I believed what Dice said about having the courage to go after things in life and doing them. About believing in yourself. In this case I was believing in Dice as an actor and my script as blockbuster material. I may be a bit immature as a person (growing up as an only child with overprotective parents) but as a writer I'm on a whole different level. So if anyone here wants to diss me like Max... I don't give a f@#%&.

But I digress. I hopped on the plane and landed in Sin City. I picked up my ticket (the show was scheduled for the following night) and made a few phone calls. I spoke with the Las Vegas Hilton's backstage manager and told him that "I'm here to see the show and would like to pass on a copy of my script to Mr. Clay, if possible." The manager was a great guy. He came out to meet me before the show. He asked how he was going to recognize me. Let's put it this way. There's no way he could miss me.

Here's the cool leather outfit that I was wearing to the show. Folks, you should have seen the Hilton lobby when I made an entrance. I felt the breeze of turning heads as a couple of gasps rose from the crowd. Like in the "Ford Fairlane" movie. "Oh. Was my fly undone?" :p In fact, the audience in the showroom thought I was somehow supposed to be part of the show. People would come up to me, shake hands, ask who I was... It was pretty cool.

So it's like ten minutes left before the show. The backstage mgr and I are standing there, talking, when all of a sudden some rat-faced suit shows up. He proceeds to verbally abuse, physically threaten and psychologically humiliate me. :( He flashed some ID in my face and claimed to be a detective from LA who was going to put me in prison. FOR WHAT??? I'm not a fan, I wasn't even trying to get backstage. I don't need an autographed picture. I'm a screenwriter. It's not my fault that Dice doesn't have an agent to handle his film career, probably because he has no career... :eek: Otherwise I would have gone to the agent.

But that jerk wouldn't listen. He wouldn't even let me say a word. He walked all over me and left me feeling like I just took a swim in a sewer pipe. By the end of his monologue I was crying. The backstage manager interfered and apologized to me... but the guy didn't work for the hotel so there wasn't anything he could do. That's how I met Clubsoda Kenny. I just recently found out his name. He didn't bother with a formal introduction.

This is not the end of the story, however. I would have walked out but my limbs went to water. In a state of shock I fell into my seat and sat through the show. I barely remember anything. On my way to the exit a guy came up to me. He introduced himself as a film producer. "I'm here with Andrew." and shows me a VIP pass. "Let's go have a cup of coffee and chat." So we went to the café and he bought a cup of hot chocolate to revive me. After hearing my story, he wanted to see the script. He read the one-page synopsis and absolutely loved the premise. The only copy I had brought with me was taken by the sympathetic backstage manager. He volunteered to help. So this producer and I return to the lobby and head for the elevator. He was going to get his car keys so he can drive me back to my hotel where I'd get another hard copy for him. The elevator doors open and who comes upon the scene but Clubsoda and two huge f@#&%ing security guards. They shove the poor producer in the elevator. I ran for the door.

So Stingray, you still want me to give that message to Clubsoda? ;) On a serious note though, if I ever see that moron again, I'm going to kick his ass so hard, his whole family will die. I'm not a crybaby anymore. I should have sucker punched him right then and there. The audience -- and the backstage manager -- were on my side. There would have been no show but at least Dice would have heard about this. So would have the papers.

But I was such a loser... I dragged myself back to my hotel room and cried all night. Oddly enough, I didn't go back home and decided to stick around. Wrote another script last June. Somehow I think that Dice is worth it. He'd better be. lol Back in Hollywood I almost got me a manager. He loved my writing style and wanted to represent me... until he heard my speech on Dice, and how he's a talented actor and very underrated. The sleazebag sneered: "Tell this to someone around here, they'll laugh ya outta town." Others told me that if I re-write my script (the Ford Fairlane sequel) so it won't be for Dice. I'd have a career in no time. But then I would be betraying everything I believe in... I don't really care about my career. I just want to see Dice have the career he deserves. Make a comeback. Like Travolta. Better than that...

Too bad Dice doesn't have a clue. Yet. I have a feeling that when he does hear about this, Clubsoda's ass will get kicked bigtime. <wink, wink>
club soda kenny was always cool with me, he even escorted me to the front row table reserved for me at the valentines massacre PPV where I later went on stage with dice. he was cool at every show I went to, going out of his way just to say whats up.
Good for you. I guess he really likes you. lol ;) I just told it like it is. Who knows, maybe you'll get to see Clubsoda before I do. In this case, YOU tell him I said hi. :D
I dont know, maybe he was cool to me because he talked to me first, instead of me trying to talk to him first? I dont know the guy... we met like 10 times
Well, Clubsoda talked to me first, I wasn't trying to talk to him that's for sure. lol Jumped right into it, never even introduced himself. Had he known me and what I was trying to do, I'm sure he would have behaved differently. At least I hope so... I don't know what had gotten into him. I notice that when people have problems -- work, relationship or whatever -- they tend to vent them on me. Like I have a tattoo on my forehead: dump your crap HERE.

Clubsoda Kenny may not be such a bad guy after all. Hopefully I'll see him again some day and we can shake hands and forget about it. But first I have to do something... Remember that scene in "Ford Fairlane" where that girl Zuzu Petals drops to her knees; Ford goes, "Baby, a simple thank you will suffice" and she goes, "Fluck you!" balls her fist, punches him in the groin and takes off. I wish I had done this at the Las Vegas Hilton. ;) At least I would feel better about this whole thing. Right now I feel like a total loser...
that's right because you ARE a loser. i've been laughing my ass off reading your post. god job clubsoda. keep those wackos away. kick them in the ass and say go back to russia you fuck.
Max and bustamovie,

Please take this argument to email if you insist on fighting, This is an O&A board for discussion of the show and its related guests.

If you want a message board that you can fight on, and other people will fight with you, email me and I'll give you the address.

No fighting here please

I'm not fighting! I'm not going to respond to any of Max's posts. He can rant all he wants, call me any name he wants. I got to the point when I'm tired of having to explain myself. At first I liked the kid. I have no clue what's the bug up his ass. And to tell you the truth, I don't give a flying fuck. I'll ignore his posts. Hopefully he'll stop. If not... there's nothing I can do. :(

P.S. FYI I emailed Max but he won't respond to me.
If he doesnt stop he's off the board, We dont allow bashing of other members here
I'm not bashing. just being honest. I dont kiss ass like you guys. I tell it like it is. those who cant deal with it can go to hell. I made my point. subject closed. now let's talk about O&A. thats what this board is for. its not for some sleazo piece of crap to promote herself and her stinkin web sites. why dont you kick her off the board? wanna kick me off, fine. ladies first.
lol Thats funny. Two people with two computers fighting with themselves hahaha I may be wrong but imagine two cumpulsive Dice freaks on the same board at the same tome with the same amount of posts. lol lmao lmfao hahaha
This morning I had a hacker friend check Max's IP when he was on the board. It said San Jose. If this is your way of complementing my singing voice, I'm flattered. I'm all the way down south, so I can't yell across the state. Today was the only time we were ever on this board together, and only because I forgot to log out earlier.
Just responding to DH's post, not saying you're the same guy.
I'm sure you have a great voice, tho'