Well well well...here it is. The end. I knew it was going to go this way, and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. SO...FUCK YOU to my most recent (as of 4 hours ago) ex. It was doomed from the start. We started together about two years ago. We did the on-again-off-again bullshit that most couples go through. The catch? She was married. Supposedly, she was 'getting divorced', not that it makes my position any better. She would hang with me for a while, and then tell me she "couldn't talk to me because she wanted to make it work with him". Fast forward a few months, and she was back with me. Now, she got rid of me 'for the last time' on Dec 30th. Sent me an e-mail from her work (nurse. night shift), and then didn't talk to me for a little while. I got hammered one night (shocking, I know) and called her and poured out my heart to her. She came back that day, when she got off work. She's been staying at my place again (I say 'again' because she HAD been staying here from November - December) regularly...then, the call came. I was trying to be the 'good guy' here, even though there's no way I could be. It's no excuse, but she told me that he had been cheating on her for almost 10 years... So, the call came. He was at a bar with his sister, and they wanted to 'hang out'. Never backing away from a challenge or uncomfortable situation, I figured "what the fuck, why not. It could be fun" And it was. ~I want to make this perfectly clear to everyone.....Eula is fucking fun to hang out with. He's a good guy, really. We just ended up on opposite ends of a shitty situation~ Then his sister left. Then we had to cart his drunk ass (he NEVER drinks) home. Then we went back to our hotel (we got a room because my roommate needed the place to himself), and he calls her. Once again, trying to be the nice guy, I say "If you need to talk it out, go ahead". Five fucking hours later, I'm calling and sending text messages from my dying-battery cellphone trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Yeah...she eventually picked me up (on the way to drop him off at work) and took me home, telling me that I was never worth her time, and I meant nothing. Basically, I am a huge waste of time. I understand, that's ALWAYS the heart-of-stone reaction to a breakup. No matter what, convince yourself you are right and don't let the other person plead their case. I get that. But, really. This is like the 4th time this has happened. The last time was 30 Dec 07. When I finally got her back to hanging out here, everything was wonderful, forgiven, etc. I figured this was the last time this was going to happen. No, I 'm not being stupid......I saw things for what they were for and figured things were going to be different this time....not because of some weird idealistic bullshit, because steps were REALLY being taken towards a divorce, here and I were getting along wonderfully, and I even talked to HIM on the phone and everything was ok. And here I sit. Trying to make heads from tails. Trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I have no real problem with her going back to him...if it's what she really wants, but this stonewalling bullshit is hell. I KNOW she's stonewalling me on purpose, and I KNOW she doesn't feel the way she (now) tells me she does....but to hear the words coming out of her mouth, when I want nothing more than peace between the 3 of us fucking sucks. So. Fuck her for this, and fuck me for going along with it again. Newmania's met her, as did Blotto98. She really was a cool chick, and I will still care about her until he day I die.