FU to...ME - I'm an ass

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#1
I just need to feel sorry for myself a minute.

Saturday was the day from hell. Started in the afternoon and continued from there.

I'm at the second job which is in the office of my parish church. The duty priest on Saturday is a 60-something year old guy with a form of muscular dystrophy. Usually at lunch he sits in one of the secretaries' chairs since it's easier for him to get out of..for some reason both of us forgot about the chair this week and he sat on a regular chair. Problem was, he couldn't get up. So he asks me to stand behind him and try to lift him while he tries pushing himself up. We're struggling, I feel the chair start to move up and then he plops back down and the chair leg plops on the third toe of my right foot. Ouch!

Fast forward Saturday night. I'm at a barbeque with the nephews. We're at one of their neighbor's homes and as part of the landscaping, they've got railroad ties. The boys are all excited to show me how they can "balance" on the ties but all they're really doing is walking across it while they watch their steps.

Aunt Kris forgets that she's 44 at times. She decides to show them how to really balance and jumps up on the rail. She's impressing the kids (they're 6 & 4 so that's pretty easy to do) with the moves she used to do when she took gymnastics in high school. Oh, did I mention I was barefooted? Yeah, I was barefooted.

I got to do a turn and wound up with a splinter in my right foot. But being the consummate professional, I continued. I decide to just do a basic dismount, no flips (basically because I don't remember how to do them). I jump off and land the wrong way on my left foot, bruising the heel. I also didn't jump out far enough so that instead of landing on the grass like it should have, my right foot hit the edge of the railroad tie. Did I remember to tell you I was barefooted?

So now I've got a bruised heel on the left foot and three bruised toes on the right. Hurts to walk with or without shoes, even sneakers hurt.

So yeah, FU to me ... one day I'll learn that my body is not in the same as it was when I was 14. :icon_evil
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
43,661
10,129
848
#3
HA! HA! your old.... hurts dont it.

i spent the weekend partying in VT with my 20 something friend and his buddies, now im sick and sore from passing out in his car..... oh and i have to go back to a ton of work tomorrow
 

Myhairygrundle

Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Jul 16, 2005
6,798
1,947
608
Texas
#4
Sucks, I started jogging (or yogging) last week and thought I broke my knee dude.

We can't do what we used to, but at least we are smarter....


.
 

Fruit Monkey

Don't stare at it eat it! P-1 In trainning
Oct 4, 2004
5,416
0
216
Intransit
#6
dam fuck, dam fuck, too many word$ to read but.. i $een fuck, me,vand a$$ all in the $ame $entence and I got hard!
 

DeltaPin

Well-Known Member
Donator
Feb 17, 2005
3,365
271
578
NJ
#8
I got to do a turn and wound up with a splinter in my right foot. But being the consummate professional, I continued. I decide to just do a basic dismount, no flips (basically because I don't remember how to do them). I jump off and land the wrong way on my left foot, bruising the heel. I also didn't jump out far enough so that instead of landing on the grass like it should have, my right foot hit the edge of the railroad tie. Did I remember to tell you I was barefooted?

So now I've got a bruised heel on the left foot and three bruised toes on the right. Hurts to walk with or without shoes, even sneakers hurt.
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#9
dam fuck, dam fuck, too many word$ to read but.. i $een fuck, me,vand a$$ all in the $ame $entence and I got hard!
Long story short - I forgot I as 44, did something I did at 14 and now I can't walk.

now go rub one out ;)


mjmandalay said:
Your a Fuckin mess Ma :action-sm
just you wait...you're not that far behind me in the chronologically challenged department! ;)