FU to my 2 year old

#1
Little cunt hid my cell phone and we can't find it anywhere. Arrrrgghhhh. Its an amazing feeling being a parent. You have the unique feeling of loving someone like nothing else and wanting to slap them silly all at the same time.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
#3
Wait til the little bastid gets hold of your car keys.

I had to go back to the dealer twice to get extra keys for my Honda.

That's why God makes them so cute... so you won't wring their evil little necks.
 
#4
Wait til the little bastid gets hold of your car keys.

I had to go back to the dealer twice to get extra keys for my Honda.

That's why God makes them so cute... so you won't wring their evil little necks.


I found one of my Wii remotes in my office trash can the other day. Sometimes you just have to laugh otherwise you'll kill them.
 

Jimmy's Dignity

Pound my bloody fudge!!
Staff member
Wackbag Staff
#5
play a game with him...call your phone, have him find it
 

funnybonez

Registered abUser
#7
FU to you for not charging the battery. hehehe..

My kid hid my PSP after I search all over the house, work, and cars..
I was sad that I lost it, but when she gave it back to me, I laughed... I told her now go hide Mommy's blackberry...
 
#8
is it a girl? if so it is in a bag somewhere...If it is a boy it is in a truck. When my daughter (also 2) hides things she tells me where they are when i do the ole "We can't go to xxxxx until we have daddys phone" let's get daddy's phone...
 

FAZ8218

Good eeeeeeeevening.
Wackbag Staff
#9
El-oh-el at this whole thread. hahahaha.
 

Dopie Opie

Registered User
#10
How about when my beautiful two year old princess plays dress up with mommy's $1000 necklace and when you ask her where it is, she shrugs.

Who do I blame ?? My wife

The baby is my world, so fuck it, my wife's loss.
 

grail

Tahini sauce in my drawers
#11
I have the same game with my 2 year old lil' girl. It's the ol' hide the remote game. I also learnt to keep the cell phone up high and my shoes. You'll never know when she'll put a cup of water in them. All cabinet doors have zip ties on them. The laundry chute has a latch on it that's out of her reach. Else DVD's become frisbees and everything will go down the hole. (laundry chute)
 
#12
oh yeah...everything up high...we have 1 lower cabinet in the kitchen that she is allowed in...it has the sheet pans so she can make noise... EVERYTHING has to be locked or on a high shelf...Oh and guess who learned how to flush the big potty? Yeah...so who knows what will go down there.
 

tstlkevanilla

Ministress of Masturbation
#13
you'd be amazed at the things that are in my air conditioners....
gotta love kids!

but like someone else here said... car keys are the WORST! I can't even recall how many times my kids have taken my keys and lost them.. luckily they're just a tad bit older now and know not to touch my keys..
 

ern

Hiding behind my keyboard
#14
That's why God makes them so cute... so you won't wring their evil little necks.
QFT

my daughter just turned 3 and hasn't played the hiding game yet - thank god. Although she likes to come over in the morning and wake me up by hitting me in the face with her stuffed animal. Then stands there smiling saying wake up daddy.

Smart, cute, evil.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
#18
wait till they finger paint with shit in the bathroom.

as for the car key, my buddy's kid tossed his BMW key some ware, 125$ for the key and the fob was worth about 30$ (fancy key fob for a fancy key) and now theres a coded key for his car laying around for some savage to pick up
 
#19
wait till they finger paint with shit in the bathroom.

as for the car key, my buddy's kid tossed his BMW key some ware, 125$ for the key and the fob was worth about 30$ (fancy key fob for a fancy key) and now theres a coded key for his car laying around for some savage to pick up
we gave her a dilly bar from dairy queen in the car and forgot about it. and we got a few miles down the road and heard giggles and screams of delight. she was finger painting with Ice cream on the window.
 
#21
This reminds me of my neighbor's kid.. he was about 5 or so (maybe a little older) took mommy's keys and started the car. I can't remember if he actually figured out how to drop the thing into drive, or if the car was in gear. (it was a Chevy caprice wagon.. long time ago) but he went barreling into the garage. I was in the kitchen. heard a crash & walked out to see the car pushing through all of their stuff in the garage with the door collapsing on the car.

Kid wasn't hurt. Took about a week for the parents to finally laugh about it.
 

wetsticky frank

My mommy says I am TRAINABLE. What does that mean?
#22
This reminds me of my neighbor's kid.. he was about 5 or so (maybe a little older) took mommy's keys and started the car. I can't remember if he actually figured out how to drop the thing into drive, or if the car was in gear. (it was a Chevy caprice wagon.. long time ago) but he went barreling into the garage. I was in the kitchen. heard a crash & walked out to see the car pushing through all of their stuff in the garage with the door collapsing on the car.

Kid wasn't hurt. Took about a week for the parents to finally laugh about it.
Now thats FUNNY!

I'm sure it was just a few thousand dullars in damage. :haha7:
 

cozzie

head retard
#23
I dated a girl and i had to potty train her son, who was almost 2, I'd take him to go pee and he would be there staring at me and trying to imitate me peeing in the pot. Then he'd pull up his pants and piss all in them. Used to crack me up.
 
#24
My 2 yo son is the oppisite. I ask to find something and BAM he comes running back with it. And its not stuff that was intentionally hidden just misplaced. I have a retriver for a kid.
 
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