Fu To My Brother's Friends

Jan 25, 2006
33,621
4,413
578
Saint Louis
#1
Preface: I just graduated from college, so I'm back to living at home for the time being. My brother is home for the summer from college. Our house is in St.Louis, but my dad works in IN. So my mom and dad live in IN. and come home like one weekend a month. Until he retires they're keeping this house in Stl.

So, the house is headquarters for my 20 year old brother and all his goon friends. Every other night it's drinking night at our house, equipped with the assumed drunk annoying 20 year old kids who have nowhere else to go but people's houses to drink I guess.

So of course everyday I'm kicking over those hacky red solo cup from their drinking games. (Why do guys play games with each other in order to get the OTHER guy drunk, I don't get that to begin with). When my mommy does come home she'll stock the house with food: those giant cosco things of candy bars, Ice cream cones, frozen pizza, licorice, etc. So of course these anuses just come over, throw a pizza in the over have a beer, feet up on the table, use the bathrooms, throw the cigarette butts on the deck floor etc.

It's all dudes too, never a hot girl that I can even look at, just dudes with their skin-tight Hollister shirts on. Just tools. It's very annoying.

I guess I should move out if I don't like it, but I've got a 5 bedroom 2story to myself the rest of the year, and even better I'm living rent-free. So I can't move out.

But I don't want to be the douche bag who's like "I'm going to tell mom and dad what you're doing.. they said no friends over.." And he basically has three weeks to clean the house before they come back home.

"Don't these people have Homes!?"
 

thetick130

Trying hard not to kill my dog
Aug 16, 2006
976
0
251
NJ, fuck you
#2
when they pass out, just strip them and put them into gay ass positions, so when they wake up, they never want to drink again. No homo

Or just kill them
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
7,347
0
261
On the road to ruin
#5
If you can't beat em, join em! Don't you have friends that want to hang? Or if it's that bad, when he has the parties, go stay with your friends.
 

Joe Avezzano

Registered User
Jul 9, 2006
1,000
1
0
#6
Let me guess, they also have spiked, gelled, dyed hair. They also start and/or end sentences with "dude" or "bra".
 
Jan 25, 2006
33,621
4,413
578
Saint Louis
#7
Let me guess, they also have spiked, gelled, dyed hair. They also start and/or end sentences with "dude" or "bra".
Basically.
Everything is "Sick!"

Most of them also Chew, so it's nice finding a cup full of tobacco spit too every now and then.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,810
6,921
763
F.U.B.A.R
#8
You could be a complete and total scum bag by calling for a DWI check point a little ways from your abode.
 

Angelfuck

Part of the Ronnie B. crowd
Jan 6, 2006
10,838
1
0
Static Age
#9
you have 2 stories, Im sure you can avoid them. As for the mess, tell your bro his friends can come over whenever they want, but if he doesnt clean the mess up that night youre telling your parents
 

CougarHunter

Lying causes cat piss smell.
Mar 2, 2006
10,594
2,574
566
KC Metro
#10
You need to walk around the house completely naked, holding a loaded .357 snub nose in one hand and a bottle of your favorite whiskey in the other. You might also announce the indoor shooting range opens in 5 minutes. You may have to put a round through a wall to get the proper attention a naked man with a bottle of whiskey and a hangun warrents, so use .38 lead wadcutters so you don't take out some kid in a crib next door. Nothing clears a house out quicker, it's been my experience.