FU to my friends annoying dog


Lingering longer for a longering linger
Dec 4, 2005
New Jersey
my friend and his wife got a golden retriever puppy a couple years ago. It's like most of them are...playful, always in trouble, a bit dumb. Now I don't have anything against dogs per se, but I definatly don't like the ones that get all crazy and jump all over people like me when they come in the house. Like this one does. Anyway, every time my friend invites me over to watch the Giants game at his house, it's always the same shit: I'm into the game sitting on the couch and the fucking dog keeps jumping on me, bumping into me, and trying to eat the food off my plate. What drives me bonkers is that my friend is too stubborn just keep the stupid fucking thing locked upstairs or outside or in another room. Nooooooo, he'll put it outside for like 5 minutes and then let it back in so the same shit happens over and over again. The last time, I had a plate of nachos and a coke and he suddenly lunged for them and spilled the stuff all over me and the floor. I didn't find it cute, I wanted to shoot the thing. :arrrh: I don't understand what's so hard about locking it up when people are over. Jesus H Tapdancing Christ!:mad4:


as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
first. its the dogs house, you dont like dogs? dont go over, second its your fault for letting it happen, the dog is just being a dog, next time you go over if he trys to jump on you knee him in the head and push him down. if he trys to steal your food push him down and say NO real loud, its apparent that the owners aren't being aggressive enough in there training, 9 times out of 10 its peoples fault, for allowing the dog to be a dog

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
Florida's Nature Coast
Our Lab is a pain in the ass like this. She's just so excited to see people she can't control herself. Every day she acts like she hasn't seen me in 100 years. I've managed to get her to calm down somewhat. She no longer jumps all over me or anyone else here, but she still goes ape-shit when someone else comes over. It's still a work in progress.


LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
right where I wanna be
My sister has a bulldog mix and even though he's 5 now, the animal still jumps all over everyone. He actually thinks he's a lap dog. I can't say that they haven't trained him - they even took him to obedience classes. It is annoying, but like Fez said, it's his house. The only time the dog gets locked in the bedroom is when my younger nephews are over & that's only until everyone is settled. When Nick was 2 or 3, the dog knocked him down (he thought Nick was a new plaything) and the kid is still petrified of not just my sister's dog but all dogs.


Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
On the road to ruin
Fez is right, as usual when it comes to dogs.

I have a couple friends with obnoxious dogs. There's a Yorkie that is extremely high strung. They've tried training the dog, but they weren't consistant because they didn't want to wake their precious angel when she was sleeping. He finally settles down later at night, but when I have to leave I can't move. I have to let them know that I'm going to get going, and then they take the dog out. If I get up while he's in the house, he barks incessantly. I was there during the period when they were trying to train him, and I even got in on it. Dogs are pack animals and they have to realize that although I am a guest, I am still higher up than he is.

I have other friends that have a Wheaton (?) terrier. This dog barks at every sound. We tried watching the Super Bowl there one year, and I missed EVERY punch line to EVERY commercial. We'd start laughing, the dog would bark, joke missed. They live in an apartment so there is no putting the dog outside.

My dad has a Chow with a fear aggression problem. She is Chow #6 over the span of 20 - 25 years and only the 2nd with this problem. Their previous dog has some issues, and this one picked up on them & just amplified them. She's absolutely adorable, but it sucks that anytime a guest moves she goes nuts. My uncle suggested overtaking her but Chows can be tempermental and we don't know how she'd react. I did tell my step mom that they really should consider bringing in a trainer, and I think they might.


Ronnie B Rocks my Fat Ass
Nov 14, 2005
New Jersey
If you dont like a bull terrier head in your ass, you need not enter. But my babies are very orderly as they are trained daily. But they are dogs and sometimes like to act like dogs.


Registered User
May 1, 2003
Michael Vick it.


Will Drink Today
Dec 9, 2004
western ny
Do what I do,"accidentally step on it", a swift kick(not hard), or a nice little pinch. I has solved my problem with my parents dog jumping on me and yelling at it never helped.

Biff Hardslab

I have the t-shirt
Jan 15, 2007
I don't think anyone that expects you to watch a Giants game can really be considered a friend.


Lying causes cat piss smell.
Mar 2, 2006
KC Metro
A .22 Moe Green style takes care of most animal problems.