FU to my wife.

Sct Ptersns Twn

Looking 4 a New 1st Mate
Dec 4, 2005
7,620
127
536
Gloucestershire
#1
OK, this is a good one. She comes in to the house today after work, exercising and what not (7PM). I started the normal chit chat, and she is silent (basically). Then all of a sudden, she says "Oh by the way, the radio is broken in the Mercedes. I know
I am on restriction now but its broken.

I was like :icon_eek:. What the fuck is that!?

In order to play her fucking Ipod she has to put her cassette thingy into the player. Well, if you all don't know this type of OEM stereo, you have to close a door to get radio to work. It will work if the door is not shut, but you and EVERYONE ELSE in the fucking car will hear a ding sound every 10 seconds until it is closed. In addition, the LCD display is on the door! All the audio controls, fader, balance, bass, treble, everything! Now I have to go deal with finding a new radio. Somehow though I am in trouble, the tables get turned on me every time. :arrrh: :arrrh: :arrrh:

Happy Monday!
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,667
9,672
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#2
hey dont bitch, my old lady backed my BMW into my truck and took out the passenger side front fender, it cost me 300$ to fucking fix, at my god damn cost. not to mention she fucked up the bumper on my truck, that i didnt bother to fix
 

Glenn Dandy

THE ONLY WHITE PRESIDENT LEFT.
Mar 21, 2005
19,758
35
298
Wackbag Whitehouse.
#3
Chics! What are you gonna do.

Mine just called me three times to ask about salad dressing!

FUCKING PICK ONE I DON'T CARE!

WTF Is Balsalmic and who fucking cares.
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
7,347
0
261
On the road to ruin
#5
Hey, when you get the radio fixed, get her an FM transmitter. No cassette player needed. I have just a generic one for my car, and my sister has an iPod specific one that charges it, too. PM me when you're ready to shop. :)
 

CougarHunter

Lying causes cat piss smell.
Mar 2, 2006
10,594
2,574
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KC Metro
#7
Just browsing the title and who started the thread made me think he was in need of a Christmastime fishing buddy.
 

wigsnatcher

usually confused
May 11, 2007
267
0
0
Nashville
#8
ive tried a couple fm transmitters, both very fuzzy (not many unused stations around here). take it to a car audio place and get it hooked up with an input jack, you must have some extra cash layin around, you are drivin a benz:D
 

batgoat

the medication doesn't work....
Aug 14, 2006
1,406
0
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Mn.
#9
Well as little Conner said: "My mommy gained weight and daddy took us fishing."

Maybe its time for a boat trip...
 

Sct Ptersns Twn

Looking 4 a New 1st Mate
Dec 4, 2005
7,620
127
536
Gloucestershire
#11
What does "I am on restriction" mean?
She thinks I treat her like her father or mother used to by raising total hell, and not letting her forget what she did. I am Obsessive Compulsive. If the shit isn't in order, correct or fixed as soon as possible I go nuts. It's also a way for her to diffuse the situation. Getting my mind off the "real" problem and put it on me (my anger/OCD). I am an ass when shit breaks and its not my fault. I always over-analyze reasons why shit like that happens. I kinda never shut up.


FM transmitters are OK but the antenna is in the rear of the vehicle and gets fuzzy. I guess I need to find a powerful one. *shrugs*

I think I am going to superglue the lil door shut. Fuck it, she can find her own damn way to play her Ipod.
 

tonypop

Registered User
Feb 2, 2006
298
0
0
#12
I am Obsessive Compulsive. If the shit isn't in order, correct or fixed as soon as possible I go nuts. I am an ass when shit breaks and its not my fault. I always over-analyze reasons why shit like that happens. I kinda never shut up.
You sound like my boss at work. Are you a fat Dominican?
 
Feb 3, 2006
826
0
0
Pennsylvania
#13
I've given up getting mad at my wife for doing stupid things, it's shortening my life. After she decided to slam our new volvo into the truck ahead of us sitting for a red light, I quit. She was driving because I had a cup of beer and while we were waiting for a red light, for no reason she decides to take her foot off the brake and punch down the gas despite noone else moving and the light still being red. I just looked at her and banged my head off the dashboard. Her explaination? "I don't know why I did that." I had to get out of the car and stay away from the cops so they wouldn't smell the spilled beer.

Add that to backing my truck into a ford and putting the trailer hitch through it's hood, ( the other woman pulled in behind her when she wasn't looking) knocking off not one but two rear view mirrors on two separate cars (hit a construction sign and a construction barrel- they jumped out at her), cutting a corner too tight and knocking the bumber off a car waiting for a red light ( that one she blamed on the other car). The only car she hasn't damaged is my Audi because she can't drive a stick.

It's just not worth it anymore. My son says I got to love her, then starts to laugh. 16 year old wise ass.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,667
9,672
848
#15
I've given up getting mad at my wife for doing stupid things, it's shortening my life. After she decided to slam our new volvo into the truck ahead of us sitting for a red light, I quit. She was driving because I had a cup of beer and while we were waiting for a red light, for no reason she decides to take her foot off the brake and punch down the gas despite noone else moving and the light still being red. I just looked at her and banged my head off the dashboard. Her explaination? "I don't know why I did that." I had to get out of the car and stay away from the cops so they wouldn't smell the spilled beer.

Add that to backing my truck into a ford and putting the trailer hitch through it's hood, ( the other woman pulled in behind her when she wasn't looking) knocking off not one but two rear view mirrors on two separate cars (hit a construction sign and a construction barrel- they jumped out at her), cutting a corner too tight and knocking the bumber off a car waiting for a red light ( that one she blamed on the other car). The only car she hasn't damaged is my Audi because she can't drive a stick.

It's just not worth it anymore. My son says I got to love her, then starts to laugh. 16 year old wise ass.
\



oh man your what i need. i just lost a "top shelf" customer (all my repeat customers have there own shelf of paint) old timer with with a honda civic, and great insurance. the fucker went and died on me last month. i dont know how im going to get my birfday bounus this year
 

Sct Ptersns Twn

Looking 4 a New 1st Mate
Dec 4, 2005
7,620
127
536
Gloucestershire
#17
So I come home tonight and dinner is made, and she is cleaning the bathrooms like a madwoman. I guess she is on restriction, banging shit around, what the fuck? Oh well I guess that ding ding shit is getting to her. :haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7:
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,667
9,672
848
#20
You're in violation!


Seriously though, we sound alot alike. People doing stupid shit will be the death of me. I'm banking on a heart attack.

im shooting for i nice massive stroke, just enough for me to be a burden to every asshole that has decided that im the only person in the world that can solve there problems. on wensday i sprained the shit out of my ankle, now granted i did go back to work on friday, all wacked out on pain killers, and saturday, all wacked out on pain killers, then sunday i tried to sleep off the pills, monday i stopped taking them, because of the heat and the fact that i was enjoying them, and today well, it fucking hurts and it was 90+degrees here today with 99% humidity, my ankle is killing me i was dehydrated, when i got home i could barely speak let alone stand, there is still a pile of dishes in the sink, most of which arnt mine, do you think the person that has spent the last three days in the air conditioning would clean them up, nope, there still sitting there rotting. for some reason every time something catastrophic happens to me, (ankle) with in days of me doing it my wife decides she's sick and refuses to do any house work, leaving it for me to do, EVERY time, and quite frankly its getting old. those dishes are going to rot there.
 
Feb 20, 2006
8,646
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**** Island
#21
when i got home i could barely speak let alone stand, there is still a pile of dishes in the sink, most of which arnt mine, do you think the person that has spent the last three days in the air conditioning would clean them up, nope, there still sitting there rotting.

I think you married my girlfriend. She's useless around the house except for her monthly vacuuming. Then she looks all smug and satisfied like she actually accomplished something.
 

Mule Spanker

I like to smack my junk around like it owes me $$$
Jul 31, 2006
312
0
0
Ashland, MA
#22
Do you own a gun? I'm not advocating you go on a shooting spree. I'm just saying a good 'ol American made Smith & Wesson could solve your problems.
 

HummerTuesdays

Another girrrrl!!!
Apr 24, 2005
7,347
0
261
On the road to ruin
#23
Fez, isn't your son old enough to start helping around the house? Sure, your wife is probably lazy, but that doesn't mean your son has to take after her. :)
 

Ant's_rapier

Finger of God
Jan 19, 2006
1,016
0
0
Dallas,TX
#24
So I come home tonight and dinner is made, and she is cleaning the bathrooms like a madwoman. I guess she is on restriction, banging shit around, what the fuck? Oh well I guess that ding ding shit is getting to her. :haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7::haha7:
What you have to do here is whip out your cock, swing it in her face and yell "you missed a spot, now clean it up!"
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,802
6,920
763
F.U.B.A.R
#25
Fez, isn't your son old enough to start helping around the house? Sure, your wife is probably lazy, but that doesn't mean your son has to take after her. :)
Great point. Every kid should have a list of "chores" a.k.a. a list of shit of things you don't want to do.

While you're at it Fez Man, give your wife a list too. With strict disciple for those not finished by a predetermined time.