FU to n***** rich potential tenants

VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
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#1
Ok, if you have one of those ringtones that plays for the people calling you (not that you, the owner of the phone hears, though you may, but that the people calling you hear), and you're over 16, get a fucking life.

Returned the phone call of a potential tenant today, and they had the MNF theme playing for me.

It tells me that you're not expecting serious phone calls, that you don't have enough serious people calling you that it matters to you, and that you're spending money (I have to assume) on something that does nothing but make you look/sound like white trash/ghetto trash.

Big rims on your car, a shitload of pets (seriously, 5 giant fucking dogs when you RENT?), or the worst: parents who buy their kids a shitload of toys instead of spending time with them.

I'm not saying I won't rent to these people, but I'm damn sure going to keep a close eye on them. This is the kind of stupid spending that red-flags for me, every fucking time.

If you rent, live life like you're fucking renting.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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#2
The dummies who have the ghetto rap in their greeting message... on the phones #s that they leave as contact numbers when they're applying for jobs. Fucking brilliant.
 

Your_Moms_Box

Free Shit / Socialism 2016
Dec 20, 2004
5,755
468
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Dover, Delaware
#3
I work with a 30 year old woman who thinks people enjoy her stupid ringback tones.


Although, when you said N-Rich, I assumed you were renting to Anthony.
 

DJ Evel Ed

MayYourCumCrustedCocksBeConstantlyCoveredInCunt
Nov 30, 2003
2,599
74
613
Up your ass!
#4
You're crazy if you rent to them with the red flags. We have had some really bad tenants. The worst ones were people we didn't expect it from. One was a WASP lawyer who saw the lease didn't address lightbulbs so he was calling my Mom 50 miles away to come change his lightbulbs. He also flooded the house while he was out for the weekend. He was bad.

Then there's the Egyptian couple who fought all the time, had thousands of roaches and wouldn't let us in to exterminate for SIX years. (Her lawyer wrote a letter saying she was allergic and had asthma, even though roaches CAUSE asthma, saying we couldnt exterminate her place) The carpets were ruined with black grease, we replaced the linoleum floor from water damage, replaced the fridge because of the HUGE roach nest in the motor. Broken window. They ironed their clothes on the countertop ruining that with burn marks. Bathroom tile was falling off and it looks like someone smeared on caulk like a 3 year old fingerpainting on a wall. Stove top was covered in grease and would not light, replaced that. These Egyptian assholes were always like "We are Christian We are Christian We are clean people. We dont have roaches." yet all they did was lie to us for years about how clean they were and how bad the roach infestation was. The downstairs tenant hated them because they fought loud all the time and knew all their roaches were coming from upstairs. The downstairs tenant took pictures of them bringing out their garbage which they would store in a closet for weeks. They have pix of roaches pouring out of the top of the bags. All we could do was exterminate downstairs and the hallway. Were still going to court over this.

The best tenant we had was an older black man who always paid his rent and NEVER called us for problems. Go figure.
We have all Spanish people on both floors of the house now so everybody's happy.

Best way to judge is by neck tattoos, face piercings, and dialect. Some people who we did credit/background checks on were so bad, we were like "why did you even bother?" people not telling us about criminal stuff, awful credit, collections etc... thinking we wont check that stuff.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
40,304
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The Inland Empire State
#5
If you rent to them, I'm guessing the neighbors are going to get a new ringback tone...

[video=youtube;Oh5ulWTq3zE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh5ulWTq3zE[/video]
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,712
6,876
693
F.U.B.A.R
#6
You're seriously considering renting to potential tenants with FIVE dogs?

You're insane if you do, sir.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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#7
You're seriously considering renting to potential tenants with FIVE dogs?

You're insane if you do, sir.
This.

I had the floors in one of my properties ruined by two cats. And the cunt who rented the place had signed a no-pet lease. The fuckers had saturated every carpet with piss, and there were spots that were so bad and piss-soaked that I had to tear out sections of the subfloor. They also scratched and gnawed the fuck out of the window sills. And the cunt had the nerve to bitch when I refused to return her security deposit... some fucking people.

And that was two cats... five dogs? No fucking way.

A trick I used to use when I checked out potential tenants was to sneak out and take a peak in their cars when they were looking at my properties. If the inside of their car is a trash-strewn, filthy mess... then you can pretty much count on them treating YOUR property even worse.
 

VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
10,309
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#8
You're seriously considering renting to potential tenants with FIVE dogs?

You're insane if you do, sir.
I, sir, would never discriminate against any potential tenant for any reason whatsoever.

It is entirely a coincidence that all potential tenants with these particular problems did not make it through my screening process for other, completely unrelated reasons.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
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Mar 10, 2006
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#10
I, sir, would never discriminate against any potential tenant for any reason whatsoever.

It is entirely a coincidence that all potential tenants with these particular problems did not make it through my screening process for other, completely unrelated reasons.
I had my own particular screening process...

"I assure you, my decision not to rent this property to you has nothing to do with the darkness of the color of your skin. It's the excessive width of your nostrils."
 

Absolutely

Self-Heavy
Jan 25, 2006
33,637
4,413
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Saint Louis
#11
I have literally never heard of this ring-back tone thing.
And I'm not 60 years old...
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
42,185
9,457
768
#12
my fucking ex wife has one of those stupid fucking things, i always hated it when we were married (because i was paying for it) and it always sounds like shit now i rarely call her partly because of the stupid ring back tone and because i like to have all of our correspondence in writing in case she starts pulling her "i never said that" shit that she loved to do when we were married