Fuck Poker

Jan 25, 2006
Saint Louis
I play poker at a casino probably 2 times a week.
Just the 1-2 NL game, $200 max buy-in.
Now I know that a lot of the game is luck, but lately I have been outlucked beyond belief.

The old Set over Set, mine in the lead, and then a straight on the board appears and it's a split pot.
I don't even care or mind anymore if I have Kings and someone calls a $20 bet with A3 and hits an Ace on the river.

However the other night I had about $600 in front of me and I'm dealt Pocket Jacks (JJ). I make it $15 dollars to play. The next guy goes all in with about $60, he has AK. The next guy who has about $400 calls with 10,7 of HEARTS. ANOTHER guy calls with this last $50 and is all in, he also has AK. I call the $45.

The flop comes J, 2, 2. (J of Hearts, 2 of Hearts) So besides pocket 2s I flop the absolute nuts.
So it's just me and the $400 guy, who only has $60 invested in the pot, he leads out and goes all in. He said he wanted to go heads up with the other two who were all in pre-flop.
I call... I see he has a heart draw, and I begin to count my winnings in my head. The Turn is a 9 of Hearts, and River is a 8 of Hearts.
So he turns and rivers a straight flush. Mind you he only had a shitty heart draw to begin with and went all in with $400.

What is that, a 0.25% chance to win the pot for him. I should have won a nice $600 pot of profit.

It was disgusting, Poker Blows.
And oh yeah, fuck anyone who wears "Poker Attire" like a Full Tilt hat with matching Full Tilt Hoodie and Oakleys. Or a a "Funny" poker shirt like "I have the nuts" and then there is a squirrel with nuts. You actually have to make an effort to make sure that shirt is ready to go before you leave to the casino and say "Yeah, this is cool...."

(I think I'm going back tonight...)


Fuckin savages
Apr 14, 2005
I hear ya man...i rarely play at the casinos anymore but we have a group of and have a yearly tournament.
we play once a month with part of the buy in going for the nightly pot the rest goes towards a yearly pot top 5 places get points and top 5 points at year end get $$$ lately i have been sucking ass, no matter what i get someone has me beat...

85-90% of my hands aren't even playable and even when i do think i catch a break i get fucked...

case in point last game we are playing i'm big blind, no one raises pre-flop so i get to stay in with my shitty 10 -5 off suit. only players left are small blind and one other flop comes out 10-5-2 so i'm thinking i'm fuckin set with my 2 pair SB checks i bet 5x's the BB 250, other guy fodls, SB calls turn - 6, SB checks, i bet 250 again he calls, now i know i'm getting fucked but i'm in now, river hit another 6, SB checks again, so he hasn't gone over the top of me to this point no flush possibility so i can't imagine what he stayed in with the whole time calling my bets, i bet again he calls fucker stayed in with a 3-4 off suit and caught the straight on the turn and i lose half my chips in the 1st 10 minutes of play...i came back a bit but that is just an example of the luck i've been having with the cards.


Sep 15, 2004
Ebb and flow, yin and yang. Everything goes through a cycle, it's the ability to recognizing a down cycle and act accordingly that defines a true winner.
Jan 25, 2006
Saint Louis
Ebb and flow, yin and yang. Everything goes through a cycle, it's the ability to recognizing a down cycle and act accordingly that defines a true winner.
That's true, even during that situation I didn't really care that much at the table, I wanted to just piss it all away the next few hands but I waited one more round and then left.

I just needed to tell someone my sob story. I told my mom, but she doesn't even know what a Jack is.
Nov 29, 2006
I came into this thread hoping that "fuck poker" was something similar to strip poker.


Token Gimpy Cunt
Aug 31, 2004
The Edge of the Water, Norf Jersey
Ah, didn't realize you were not in my area. I play at one of the variants of Harrah's in AC. They used to have a great midnite tourney for $65 at Ballys (speed tourney) but they killed it, which sucks. Been trying a couple other ones but haven't liked them as much. Still lookin'.