I was late for work yesterday and sped into the parking lot like a demon, power sliding and nearly hitting some dude that was coming down the street. Yes, I was driving like an asshole. But when I parked, the man in his big ol' manly pickup pulls up, "HEY, YOU WANNA LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE?" I'm late. I don't care. I give him the finger and jog into work. As I'm clocking in, apologizing to my boss and coworkers for being late, this man barges in, cuts a line of customers, and proceeds to scream at me. "ARE YOU THE FUCKING DUDE WHO WAS GOING SIXTY FIVE IN A THIRTY ZONE? YOU NEARLY HIT ME." I'm not clocked in yet, therefore, not at work....in my head. I reply: "Are you alive, sir? Are you NOT dead? Good, so you're fine." -"Listen here, kid." "Sir, fuck off. Seriously, get the FUCK out of the store!." -"Excuse me? Where is your manager?" "He's right the fuck over there. Why don't you go talk to him and leave me alone shithead." At that point my buddy realizes I'm about to lose it and saves my ass by dragging me to the break room. Bosses were cool about it, in fact thought it was damn hilarious.