Fuck you, airlines (part 53,129,638)


Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
So, once upon a time, if you had to fly to a funeral the airlines would give you a pretty good discount. It would be the equivalent of booking the flight a few months ahead of time. Since you really can't tell when you're going to have to go to a funeral, it was pretty cool.

Now? United offers a 5% discount. A flight this weekend from Harrisburg, PA, to Houston, TX, would have been $900+. Booking ahead? About $350.

Thank goodness for flight miles out the ass and Silver Reward status allowing me to use them. Paying cash for this shit would have been pretty fucking unbearable.


In The Danger Zone...
Wackbag Staff
Yeah, they don't do shit for you anymore.
When my dad died about 5 years ago nobody
would cut us a break on fares.


Lying causes cat piss smell.
Remember this shit when they come around for another handout, as they seem to do every 5 years.


What's black and white and red all over?
When my dad died 23 years ago, the stewardesses, as they were called then, treated me really nice. Asked if I needed anything, fetched pillows, gave me the seat I wanted. I searched that ticket but couldn't see where it indicated they were dealing with a funeral fare. Never been treated better.


Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Condolences on having to use your miles, sir.
I appreciate it, man. Those damn miles... fuck. I'm sorry. Give me a minute.

Thanks. They were just so, so precious, you know? It really shows you how fleeting our gossamer lives are.

Seriously, though, he was a pretty cool dude. His kids are my favorite cousins, and his wife is my favorite aunt. Dude came to this country in the late 70s, worked the back of the house for the family restaurant for 20 years (my aunt worked the front), built it into an empire where one cousin still runs the restaurant, another has a car dealership, another is a real estate mogul making 8 figure deals, and the girl of the bunch is married to a hot shot doctor who's a partner in some major practices. A fleet of awesome grandkids, and he spent the last 15 years traveling the world and "working" at his oldest's car dealership as a courtesy driver (I know, I know, old Chinese courtesy driver...) because he couldn't handle sitting at home. He had an amazingly productive and accomplished life. None of his grandkids are ever going to go hungry a day in their lives, be on government assistance in any way in their lives, or be anything except outstanding citizens and leaders.

Not bad for a kid who was a two-time war refugee before he was a teenager.