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Fuck you, junk tossers

Discussion in 'What the F??!?' started by mills, Apr 16, 2013.

  1. mills

    mills I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness

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    and Fuck Kia for making the most laughable bumpers in history.

    I ran over a thick piece of zig-zagging wire someone had thoughtfully placed in the middle of the road, near a corner, so that making a right turn brought my tire right over it.


    The wire pierced the tire, which grabbed a good firm hold of it, and it then proceeded to bash the fuck out of my bumper with each rotation until it knocked it off. Probably would have looked funny if caught on video and played in slow motion.

    I went to collect my lost automobile appendages from the road. Shittiest piece of plastic with a shitty piece of styrofoam inside it. No exaggeration, you could hold the whole thing with one hand. Two fingers even.

    They've been doing a ton of road work at the intersection, for about a month. It would be nice if the wire could be identified as something the city uses, but I won't hold out hope.
     
  2. fletcher

    fletcher Darkness always says hello.
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    Most bumpers are just plastic and filled with styrofoam, even luxury cars. Its not just your $9000 shit kicker.
     
  3. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    Bring back bumpers that maim and kill.
     
  4. mills

    mills I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness

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    But they look all shiny almost like metal! :(

    Damn chinks and their magic ninja trickery.

    The mechanic said the wire was from a couch. I guess he fixes those too.
     
  5. Party Rooster

    Party Rooster Unleash The Beast

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    They're designed like that so a parking lot fender bender doesn't leave a big dent. Just happened to my daughter recently, it was windy and rainy and she tapped some guy's bumper. Just scratched some paint. Of course it had to be a 2011 Mustang and the guy was meticulous about his car. He got an estimate and she just paid the guy $300 cash for it so it wouldn't go on her record.
     
  6. the Streif

    the Streif ¡¡¡¡sıʞunɹɹɹɹɹɹɹℲ
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    Sorry sir, but the libs have banned assault bumpers...........for the children of course.
     
  7. ysr50

    ysr50 Well-Known Member
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    I think most full size trucks still come with steel bumpers, not sure though. My '05 F-150 has them.
     
  8. JonBenetRamsey

    JonBenetRamsey well shit the bed

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    first assault bumpers, then assault pressure cookers. what's next? assault hammocks?
     
  9. CougarHunter

    CougarHunter Lying causes cat piss smell.

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    Ham hocks are a precursor. Mix them with some beans in my gut, and you have full on WMD.
     
  10. mills

    mills I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness

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    That was uneventful. The giant couch spring that pierced my tire enough that it grabbed a hold of it and smacked my bumper off like Mario getting 1-ups on a koopa shell ... was removed and the tire was patched.

    The bumper was reattached, I didn't get a full explanation of how, but from the partial one I got I wouldn't be surprised (nor would I be disappointed) if duct tape was used.

    Final cost: $95
     
  11. BIV

    BIV I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.

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    Please, sir. They prefer "homosexuals."
     
  12. TreeFortRichard

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    I thought this was another Anti-East side dave thread...
     
  13. mills

    mills I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness

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    I was debating between Seinfeld (-chuckers) and PCU (MEAT-)

    Neither won out. I got tired and went home.
     
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  14. Mags

    Mags Edgelord
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    Deadly hood ornaments too.
     
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  15. Hudson

    Hudson Supreme Champion!!!!!
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  16. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    FIFY.
     
  17. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    There are picture on the net of a Camaro that ran over a mattress on a freeway. The person kept going after hitting it and said the car was making a funny sound. The entire spring assembly wrapped itself around the driveshaft and had crept up onto the differential and transmission yoke. I think I read it took a day or two and a blow torch to get it off.
     
  18. CM Mark

    CM Mark The East is Ours!

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    These the pictures you are talking about?

    http://www.militaryphotos.net/forum...54-Blonde-Runs-Over-A-Mattress-On-The-Highway
     
  19. Motor Head

    Motor Head HIGHWAY TRASH REMOVAL

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    Something like that - somebody posted one pic years ago and said it was a Camaro - Looks like a SUV or pickup to me.
     
  20. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?

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    [​IMG]

    To fix the damage that stupid teenager did by hitting some one at a toll booth was about 3k... plus another $800 or so for new tires as she drove it for 20 miles with the front end fucked up.
     
  21. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    Why didn't she pull over and call a flatbed?
     
  22. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?

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    Because she was an idiot teenager... never paid us back for the damage btw. Oh and it turns out that was the third or forth crash she was involved in in her short driving career.

    On a side note found a vomited up pill in the trunk area... no idea wtf it was. Apparently she was into pills... which we found out later.

    Note I didn't have collision on it as when we got it I just moved the insurance I had on her 15 year old Mustang... which was the state minimum... feh.

    Oh btw those chrome things on the front are about $450 for each strip...

    [​IMG]
     
  23. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    Damn, she should be mucking stalls until that debt is paid in full. Or taken out in trade. ;)
     
  24. stevethrower

    stevethrower Got Sig?

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    Ya well... we were trying to be nice as she was coming over every few days to train our horse... so instead of me driving her home we said go ahead borrow the car to drive home. That's all we thought she was doing... but nope she drove to I guess Hampton (which is NH) and side swiped someone at the Hampton tolls changing to another lane... still angers me.

    I had a picture of the damage... basically she fucked up the front passenger corner... so new quarter panel... and suspension bits... and of course the fancy air kit. She also took a chunk out of the alloy wheel but I refused to spend $250 for a new one...

    We called that a wash... as we got it used (well 3 months old) as it sold for about 20k and we paid $14.5 k... so with the body/suspension work and the tires basically worked out to the price new... feck.
     
  25. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    No good deed goes unpunished...
     
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