OpieRadio Logo
Compound Media Logo
Jim Norton Logo

Fuck you, tummy ache

Discussion in 'What the F??!?' started by Cunt Smasher, Jan 4, 2013.

  1. Cunt Smasher

    Cunt Smasher Caligula Jr.

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2005
    Messages:
    12,902
    Likes Received:
    3,715
    There's a bug going around, I finally caught it. Squirting shits, fever, chills, night sweats, and puking. Ugggh, my asshole feels like I used it as a volcano. Not pleasant at all, immodium doesnt work, either. I want my mommy.
     
  2. Ballbuster1

    Ballbuster1 Sailing into the Danger Zone...
    Wackbag Staff

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2002
    Messages:
    101,951
    Likes Received:
    16,332
    Stop drinking that ****** cum and you'll be fine sir. ;)
     
  3. whiskeyguy

    whiskeyguy PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
    Messages:
    36,178
    Likes Received:
    21,788
    I keep some anti-diarrheal in my first aid kit for when I'm camping... that stuff usually works for me. The Kirkland (Costco) brand stuff is pretty good. Should take care of one end, and more importantly it gives you the confidence to drink massive amounts of liquid again, which will help with everything else.
     
  4. jnoble

    jnoble Lingering longer for a longering linger

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2005
    Messages:
    8,223
    Likes Received:
    4,086
    at the least be glad that you can be sick at home. Nothing worse than having ass-volcano eruptions while at someone else's house or on vacation etc. There's comfort in stinking up your own bathroom without shame or embarrassment.
     
  5. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2002
    Messages:
    40,899
    Likes Received:
    8,723
    nothing worse than a burning asshole
     
    Wrecktum likes this.
  6. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2004
    Messages:
    46,476
    Likes Received:
    6,780
    Good luck, mo.
     
  7. Creasy Bear

    Creasy Bear gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
    Donator

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Messages:
    47,640
    Likes Received:
    35,414
    Throw some kimchi into the mix and see where that takes you. Don't pussyfoot around... put a match to that powder keg and blow the mess right out of you.
     
  8. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2002
    Messages:
    40,899
    Likes Received:
    8,723
    you are an evil man. last time i ate kimchi i had explosive shits and the most horrific gas ive had since my x wife fed me kielbasa and sour kraut that she over cooked and i ate too much of it, i shit so much that night that i fell asleep on the toilet after ruining a pair of boxers
     
    icculus1284 and Chino Kapone like this.
  9. Cunt Smasher

    Cunt Smasher Caligula Jr.

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2005
    Messages:
    12,902
    Likes Received:
    3,715
    I just had explosive pepto shits, rocket powered black shit that made the water splash up and get my ass wet. Tummy feels a bit better, not peeing out of my butt anymore, but only eating once a day. Think I'll be fine in a couple days.

    Speaking of shit stories, in about 1978, my buddies dad was the manager of the theater, so we used to go all the time, and once when we went there was a dude looked like Stephen Hawking, and my friend went in the bathroom right after wheelchair guy comes out, then he came running out looking a bit odd. He takes me in to go look, and there was shit on the floor, and a turd about a foot long hanging over the toilet seat both outside and inside the bowl. One of the grossest things I ever saw, and mysterious how it was accomplished.
     

Share This Page