Fuck you, you cunting light sleeper.

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,294
3,592
623
philly
#1
So back in Oct I move into this house with a girl I've know for about 10 years(as a friend, her room is the basement), and some guy she's renting to.
Anyway, the house is a rowhome in northeast Philly that's probably at least 50 years old.

To cut to the fucking point, the cunt(a guy) on the same floor as me has bitched more in the last 4 months about me being "noisy" coming home than my parents ever did, and their room was directly next to mine and I had to walk past their doorway to get to mine, unlike here where I come up the steps and just pass this fucking vag's room. Just to try to be nice, I even made a point to find out where the floor squeaked the most so that I could avoid it.

I'm only posting this because when I came in tonight(about an hour ago) he fucking called out from his room(can't even call it yelling) that I "need to be more quiet coming home" and that he's "sick of me being loud".

I am so glad I'm moving the fuck out at the end of the month.
Anyone know how to pop the gas cap on a late 80's camaro/trans am so I can piss in his gas tank?

Edit: I forgot to add, that in the entire time I've been here, the girl that owns the house hasn't said anything about me being noisy what so ever(the one that lives in the basement).
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,294
3,592
623
philly
#3
Actually, in thinking about it, making sure I have an antiseptic wipe and just rubbing my finger on my asshole and then rubbing the door handle on the car and cleaning my finger off would be as good.

I'm thinking after I clear out, he may want to get rid of his toothbrush too
 

Don the Radio Guy

G-Bb-A-D
Donator
Mar 30, 2006
69,623
5,081
568
Wyoming
#4
Another thing I've done is if you're lucky enough to bang a chick in the house while he's gone you can always wipe your drippy dick off on one of his shirts. Preferably the back so he won't see it.
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,294
3,592
623
philly
#5
We share a bathroom. There's *far* worse things I can do
 

Sevenyars

I own a Beanie cup, bought it off of ebay
Nov 30, 2004
1,712
1
216
Lancaster Ohio
#7
or you could just come home more quietly and act like a human being. Or go ahead and destroy someone's private property. Whatever you think.
 

CougarHunter

Lying causes cat piss smell.
Mar 2, 2006
10,594
2,574
566
KC Metro
#8
Fuck that shit.

Tiptoe up to his door at 4 am and kick it in like SWAT. Then inform him your tired of him acting like a fucking bawlbaby and he best keep his fucking piehole shut around you.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,806
6,920
763
F.U.B.A.R
#9
Fuck that shit.

Tiptoe up to his door at 4 am and kick it in like SWAT. Then inform him your tired of him acting like a fucking bawlbaby and he best keep his fucking piehole shut around you.
I concur, but must add **** him with a toilet plunger and not in a gay way, more of a dominate prison way. :action-sm
 

Sevenyars

I own a Beanie cup, bought it off of ebay
Nov 30, 2004
1,712
1
216
Lancaster Ohio
#10
or you could move out of the tendents settlement that you live in and get a better place. Like maybe a homeless shelter, or hobo tent city.
 

Debbie1125

Registered User
Mar 4, 2007
1,210
1
178
Philly, PA
#11
I lived in a twin home in Northeast Philly and the people next door were constantly bitching about me playing music.

I never had the music on loud, nor did I play it after 11 at night. Funny thing is they only complained when it was rock. They even called police. The cops told them nothing could be done unless it was excessively loud and on late at night

After that they never complained again.

The next door idiots never seemed to have a problem though, when their spawn were out in the swimming pool screaming at the top of their lungs.
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,294
3,592
623
philly
#12
or you could move out of the tendents settlement that you live in and get a better place. Like maybe a homeless shelter, or hobo tent city.
It is actually a rather nice place, the floors just squeak like a motherfucker.
 

DJ Evel Ed

MayYourCumCrustedCocksBeConstantlyCoveredInCunt
Nov 30, 2003
2,601
75
613
Up your ass!
#13
Get some syrup and put it in his gas tank. That will cost him a pretty dirty penny.

Roommates are usually a bad idea, unless she is hot and you can secretly watch her shit..
 

Sct Ptersns Twn

Looking 4 a New 1st Mate
Dec 4, 2005
7,620
127
536
Gloucestershire
#17
Fuck that shit.

Tiptoe up to his door at 4 am and kick it in like SWAT. Then inform him your tired of him acting like a fucking bawlbaby and he best keep his fucking piehole shut around you.

Do that this on your last night there. Better yet move all your shit out @ 3AM, that should get his goat.
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
31,563
2,213
898
Florida's Nature Coast
#18
Dollar store + multi-pack tubes of crazy glue + trunk/door keyholes = hilarity

Also, since you share a bathroom - might I suggest that you leave an upper-decker on the last day.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
32,840
4,566
898
Land of misfit toys
#19
Wow..got me going back to my olden days..Dog shit caked car door handles.....Bleach in gas ...Baloney his car on a sunny day..Muratic Acid in a super soaker vs Car...boil a can of shaving cream..metal dart.. punch dart into can...open room door... pull dart... toss can.... run! ......Payphone report him for kiddie porn....... Hair Dryer + Baby powder under door.... big plastic garbage can filled with water leaning precariously against room door.
 

Sevenyars

I own a Beanie cup, bought it off of ebay
Nov 30, 2004
1,712
1
216
Lancaster Ohio
#20
or, you could be a cool neighbor , tell him you will try to be less noisy. Maybe even buy him some beer to
"bury the hatchet".
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
31,563
2,213
898
Florida's Nature Coast
#21
He sounds like a douchebag. I bet the slightest floor creak is distracting him while he's jerking off to Diesel Washington videos, which is why he's being such an ass.
 

Max Johnson

Registered User
Oct 14, 2004
317
0
0
#23
Fuck that shit.

Tiptoe up to his door at 4 am and kick it in like SWAT. Then inform him your tired of him acting like a fucking bawlbaby and he best keep his fucking piehole shut around you.
If he had the balls to do that, he'd have done it the night the guy yelled at him the first time. Since he doesn't, he's looking to do something secretive after he's gotten safely away.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,806
6,920
763
F.U.B.A.R
#24
I've been using a white noise generator to help mask any noises while I sleep, it helps greatly.