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FUUUUCK YOU to the amish

Discussion in 'What the F??!?' started by Verbal Kint, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. Verbal Kint

    Verbal Kint Come on now Algebra, this ain't no place for you

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    Why the hell did my cat have move to the middle of amish country. (Middlefield, Ohio) Fucking horse and buggy drivin' assfucks takin' up the whole fucking road! Move!!!
    I'm gonna mount a fucking horn on my car thats louder than a train full of livestock blowing the horn and locking up the brakes on a downhill curve at 60MPH! Give the horsies a lil scare..
     
  2. Don the Radio Guy

    Donator

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    Try living in PA and dating someone who lives in Delaware. Every time I'd go down there, I'd have to drive through Lancaster County. On Sundays it was UNBEARABLE...
     
  3. Sinn Fein

    Sinn Fein Infidel and White Interloper
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    The whole Amish thing is a scam anymore. I don't like them at all. Mainly, because of how they treat animals
     
  4. NoSurviivors

    NoSurviivors fmeinthea

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    I'm assuming they're treating by their standard?
     
  5. crippledalbino

    crippledalbino The God of 42nd Street
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    I agree entirely.
    oh, sorry. That sort of fixing hilarity is only suitable for listening threads.
     
  6. THE FEZ MAN

    THE FEZ MAN as a matter of fact i dont have 5$

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    my cousin married an amish man, he beat her.
     
  7. Jambi

    Jambi Infidel

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    What the fuck does this mean?

    Your cat moved to Amish country?
     
  8. crippledalbino

    crippledalbino The God of 42nd Street
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    What it means, sir, is that his little feline Mr. Bigglesworth packed his little bags and moved his furry ass to Amish country. What's difficult to understand about that?
     
  9. Jambi

    Jambi Infidel

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    The difficult part is why anyone would give a flying fuck if their cat disappeared. But that's just me, I suppose.
     
  10. patbattlefield

    patbattlefield New Wackbag

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    i love hearing about a family of amish wiped out by a truck in the local news.
     
  11. HummerTuesdays

    HummerTuesdays Another girrrrl!!!

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    But they make a delicious shoo fly pie!
     
  12. Sinn Fein

    Sinn Fein Infidel and White Interloper
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    What did she do? el o el, that ol' gag....

    They don't treat their horses particularly well, and there's the whole puppymill thing too.
     
  13. Dopie Opie

    Dopie Opie Registered User

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    The Amish are scumbags.

    Even worse than the Hasidic Jews. At least you know not to trust a Jew.

    They sure do build the shit out of a shed though.
     
  14. Sinn Fein

    Sinn Fein Infidel and White Interloper
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    You can get just as good of a shed from the Mennonites.
     
  15. blazin

    blazin Registered User

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    My friend got arrested in Clarion County PA and had to cell with an Amish man who pulled his daughters teeth out with pliers because she was being naughty.
     
  16. Dopie Opie

    Dopie Opie Registered User

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    Bitch was probably raking his dick.
     
  17. NikkorTheMonk

    NikkorTheMonk Registered User

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    Goddamn thats funny. Thats 10x's funnier if your home address start with a RR.
     
  18. Chin nuts

    Chin nuts Your breath smells like a dead baby's coffin.

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    Fucking loved this line. Thank you.
     
  19. Kris_LTRMa

    Kris_LTRMa LoseTheRadio.net's Ma

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    that made me el o el
     
  20. Don the Radio Guy

    Donator

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    Oh you mean it's not good for horses to walk on pavement with cars whizzing by them at 70 mph?

    Good point, they're fucking tax-evading savages.
     
  21. Jambi

    Jambi Infidel

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    I have dealt with Amish who owned their own company, complete with company trucks, and had employees drive them everyewhere. Fucking hypocritical douchebags.
     
  22. Sinn Fein

    Sinn Fein Infidel and White Interloper
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    For real. A place I used to work had these Mennonites come in and they built some amazing wooden fixtures and stuff. I wanted to take the stuff with me when the place closed. They let us take alot of stuff out. But I didn't have enough time to break it down enough to transport. It's all still there, and the place is still vacant. :(

    That too. I went to a fair out in Lancaster county 2 summers ago. A bunch of these Amish fucks were there. They all had their horses tied up outside, all fucking day in the middle of summer. It was like 95 degrees, they didn't have any water. It pissed me off to no end.
     
  23. LovelyMomma

    LovelyMomma New Wackbag

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    I'm part amish!

    Some of my great great grandpa's were amish down south there in Ohio. ..........a lot of them cheat and use electricity!
     
  24. Sidekick Dave

    Sidekick Dave Banned

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    I was back home in Amsterdam, NY recently and just south of the Adirondacks, there are an influx of Amish people. For some reason, they don't bother me like they used to. Personally, I think that they're cute.
     
  25. wackbagette

    wackbagette A classy cunt that misses MJ

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    I lived in Lancaster for a number of years...here's a little bit of useless Amish/Mennonite trivia/urban legend:

    1. In the 1980s (doubt it's the same today) the #2 cash crop on Amish farms was pot :) Government never bothered with them and they grew it with the tobacco. (I can corroborate this partially...I went to a farm south of Millersville and saw the shit growing myself circa 1989...but I don't know about the "top cash crop")

    2. Teenage pregnancy rate in Lancaster county was highest after Philly and Pittsburgh from "local" kids getting knocked up. (No evidence, heard it from a local nurse)

    3. Two kids adopted by an Amish family were arrested after beating their foster parents to death. Turns out some Amish were getting into the foster care system and taking kids to work as slaves on their farms. Little oversight from the state and basically they were treated like garbage to atone for the "sins" of their parents, e.g. being born out of wedlock. (Sorry, no proof, was a story I'd heard several times when I lived out there in the 1980s)

    4. (And my favorite). Young Brethren (think "SuperAmish"...very isolated) wife visits a hospital because she's been married over a year and she hasn't gotten pregnant. Doc examines her and discovers that she's a virgin. However, her ass is, shall we say, "well used". Turns out that her and her dumbass husband never got any sexual education and had sex "the way the animals do it." Hubby has either really bad aim or he's managed to pull a fast one on her for the better part of a year. Education on "which hole" ensued. (As much as this sounds like urban legend, I was good friends with the woman who transcribed the tape in 1991. It took the better part of a half an hour to tell me the story, she was laughing so hard. Ah...life before HIPAA...)

    The people out there are really nice individually but it's so touristy now...most of the conservative types have moved on to the Midwest, the rest stay for the busloads of out-of-staters who gape at the buggies and dump tons of money on overpriced "outlets" at Rockvale and Tanger. It ain't like it used to be.
     

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