George Clooney has a Satellite


Wackbag's Best Conservative
Clooney's Satellites Capture Piles of Bodies, Mass Graves in Sudan
George Clooney's Satellite Sentinel Project set up to monitor the spiraling violence in Sudan has a stunning report out today with convincing evidence showing "a campaign of systematic mass killing of civilians in Kadugli, South Kordofan" in the south-central area of the country. TIME was the first to write about Clooney's project.

The group combined eyewitness reports and DigitalGlobe satellite imagery to pinpoint what seem almost certainly to be piles of bodies in Kadguli and mass graves south of there. The group cites four eyewitness accounts of Sudan Armed Forces from northern Sudan and related militias searching houses in the town and "systematically killing" civilians suspected of supporting southern Sudan forces.

The report describes the slitting of one civilian's throat and sealing and burning homes with civilians inside.

Eyewitnesses also describe the mass graves, shown above, dug by a yellow earth mover on June 8 less than a mile south of the Tilo School in Kadugli. The pits are about 26 meters long and 5 meters wide. Large green trucks were seen driving to the site and unloading around 100 bodies.

Witnesses say before being buried in the mass grave, some of the bodies were wrapped in white plastic and piled up in Kadugli. The group captured what seem to be a pile of those bodies, too. See below.

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
Unimpressed. The Shwoogies have been doing that for thousands of years. They like killing each other en masse. At this point it's almost a hobby. Civilized? Nah. Best to act out a stereotype.


Wackbag Generalissimo
Oh no. No no no no no no no. I'm not falling for that one again! Next thing you know, he'll hire Colin Powell to go before Congress and present his case and when we get there, there's not going to be any mass graves. I know how it works.


PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Sucks to be them. Sorry, but we're busy and overextended elsewhere.


well shit the bed
is no one else creeped out that at any time, george clooney can watch you jack off?


it's a man, baby!!!
how did George Cloonie get a satellite??!?!?!?!?!!?

did Rosmary buy it for him?

she is the only Cloonie that matters


I'm bi-winning.
So some long things, and some white dots = mass graves? Ok, terrific.

In other news, now that the country has split, nobody should give a shit.


A Bigly Bad Hombre.
how did George Cloonie get a satellite??!?!?!?!?!!?

did Rosmary buy it for him?

she is the only Cloonie that matters
She's so fat, she has her own gravitational field.

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
So... you need to spend shitloads of money and employ state-of-the-art satellite imaging technology in order to determine that the Sudanese savages are committing mass murder?

I could've told you that for five bucks and a Slim Jim. Yeah... the animals are slaughtering each other... and fire is hot and water is wet.