Getting rid of an unwanted guest.

Jun 2, 2005
15,516
4
0
Dallas
#26
My cousin's like this, and it really just depends on your relationship. I can tell him point blank to go away and he does, and it doesn't affect our relationship. You've just got to set the boundaries man, if he's too weak to take it, he's probably not a good enough friend to keep around anyway.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,523
19,737
513
jersey
#27
bitching is what friends are for, hell i go out on my buddy's boat just so i can scream about my x wife for hours on end and he cant get away from me. and he does the same thing about his dad...
But you dont crash on his couch for a week afterwords.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
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#30
Odd how this guy has no job, barely any money and always has some weed.
 

blazin

Registered User
Dec 9, 2004
3,931
435
578
#31
Had a similiar thing happen to me last month. Friend came in from out of town - we talked over AIM and planned to meet up for what I thought was a drink or something. He ended up staying at my house for 2 days and fucked up my whole 4th of July weekend.

To be fair, I stayed out in California with him in May for 4 days, but it was planned and he knew I was coming.

After the 2nd day I told him that I was going to the shore with my girlfriend and to figure out where he needed me to take him. I was so happy when i drove away after dropping him off.
 

VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
10,309
2,650
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#34
1.) I am deathly afraid of being an unwanted guest. I always make it a point that my host knows I'm willing to leave anytime.

2.) I don't have friends who would do this to me. I'm willing to help a friend out, of course, but my people have their shit together: that's why they're my people. Get better people in your life.

Sent from my fucking phone, so I'm going to misspell shit.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
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#36
Yeah, I call him a '4 hour friend' because ever sinc I've known him I can only handle him in 4 hours at a time.

So the friend he was going to see got a message from him last night saying " Well I guess we can't hang out even though I gave you a week in advance..." sounding like a needy bitch. Just because you lay around on your couch all day doesn't mean i want you to hang on my couch all day when no one is around. He was told 4 different times that this was not a good time to visit, so instead he comes to visit me, and wait for a call that he knows isn't coming but I guess thinks that if he makes it halfway our friend is just going to say "come on up!". Soooo fucking dumb. I'm still annoyed even after I got rid of him. I'm pretty much done with him after this weekend.
 

Fustercluck

Registered User
Jul 25, 2005
2,360
302
628
FEMA Region 9
#37
This is why its best to limit your "friends" to just a few real friends, and cut out all the peripheral fringe friends. I have 3 real friends, and countless numbers of assholes acquaintances. My friends can crash with me no matter what, (my gf knows she'll lose the argument if she objects to them). my acquaintances know me well enough to never even think of asking to stay with me.
Some people are too willy nilly with their friendship, I'm stingy with my offerings of friendship.
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
31,796
2,352
898
Florida's Nature Coast
#39
I love this thread.

I have unwanted houseguests who have been here almost 3 years. I was bullied into agreeing to let them move in temporarily and was assured it would be 6 months.

They will be getting the heave-ho shortly, I cannot wait. Before anyone asks, they are family. But enough is enough. We've been taken advantage of for far too long.
 

freddyfox

Registered User
May 19, 2009
268
107
248
Albuquerque
#40
Chino,

You need to cut that friend loose. In just the past six years I've let go of 5 friendships. No hard feelings. The friendships ran their courses and I am no longer the person I use to be. I became interested in other things. I grew up.

I remember Joe Rogan saying something like "...getting rid of negative people in your life allows you to breathe again". So very true.

I once moved to Los Angeles partly to reunite with one of the best friends I've ever had. The other part being I really needed a change of lifestyle and scenery. I moved into the same building where my friend lived and things were cool at first. Then I started to realize that L.A. had changed my friend for the worse. Being around him for more than 2 hours became exhausting. He wasn't as happy or fun to be around. He was more neurotic than before. Living in L.A. turned him into a selfish and scheming person. I remember snapping at him "I don't run scams or scam people. Only low lives do that shit". I realized how much more I matured and learned over the years than he did. When I left Los Angeles I didn't say goodbye to him. There was no need to.
 

mikeybot

SPANAKOPITA!!!
Jul 25, 2005
19,320
3,602
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philly
#41
A friend of mine refers to it as 'pruning the friendship tree'. Definitely needs to be done from time to time. Some people suck and just try to drag everyone else with them
 

Yesterdays Hero

She's better than you, Smirkalicious.
Jan 25, 2007
16,727
4,039
571
Canada. Land of the Fat.
#42
You guys make some odd friendship choices. Who the fuck let's it even get that far? 'You've overstayed your welcome. Get out.'

Then again I've maybe 3 people I'd call 'Friend'.
 

lajikal

Registered User
Aug 6, 2009
16,614
3,967
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#43
Used to have friends. Then everyone started annoying me after maybe 2 minutes. Now I just hang with a lazy dog.
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#46
I've got a lot of good friends. This guy is still the same from 2006. Nothing has really changed in his life and he really hasn't even grown as a person. So, I rarely talk to him. It was something completely outta the blue. I've got about 10 friends that I would let stay a week/weekend. Then several acquaintances that can crash on the couch. He's just that friend, and I think we all have one, that is probably never gonna go anywhere that you can occasionally hang out with for a night. But not a weekend.
 

VMS

Victim of high standards and low personal skills.
Apr 26, 2006
10,309
2,650
586
#47
I've got a lot of good friends. This guy is still the same from 2006. Nothing has really changed in his life and he really hasn't even grown as a person. So, I rarely talk to him. It was something completely outta the blue. I've got about 10 friends that I would let stay a week/weekend. Then several acquaintances that can crash on the couch. He's just that friend, and I think we all have one, that is probably never gonna go anywhere that you can occasionally hang out with for a night. But not a weekend.
I know it seems like a lot of bullshit to put up with, just to get rid of someone who is rarely part of your life, but dumping him is the way to go, man.

That's the problem with this guy: he doesn't think you're at the "get drinks a couple of times a year" friendship. He thinks you're at the "we're boys" friendship level.

I've got an old friend from high school like this. I moved in town just in time to go to high school, and he was the first friend I made. Word of advice from someone who moved a lot: the first person who comes up to you trying to be friends with you is often a loser. This dude is 36 years old, I'm pretty fucking sure he's a virgin, lives in a 2 BR apartment where the second BR is nothing but anime (he's white). He's 36 and still hasn't learned to cook (hint: chicks dig good food, dumbass).

I see him maybe once a year. Sometimes less. I'm pretty sure I'm one of his closest real-world friends. He probably spends most of his time "socializing" with people on the internet.

You know. Kind of like Wackbag. :action-sm

He's hopeless. He doesn't like bars, he doesn't like anyplace you can actually meet real people in the real world, he's just... there.

At a certain point, I've just stopped trying to help him. I can't. I have my own fucking life to live. He's a good guy, he's got a decent, professional job, but he's a follower who doesn't have a leader in his life. And I'm not willing to take on the job.