I eat beef jerky pretty much every night I'm working because it's yummy and doesn't require refrigeration. So last night I was on patrol and I dug out my little baggie of yummy beef jerky to chew on while I was west of Omaha on the open interstate. I tore a good size strip and commenced to eating it, when I detected a fireball slowly growing in my mouth. Now my wife usually does the grocery shopping, and on occasion she does by me some pretty spicy jerky, but this was something far worse. My mouth felt like I had just licked the sun. I had to pull my car to the side of the road, flip on my lights and guzzle a half gallon of tea, which of course only made it worse. After suffering for a good 20 minutes, I decided to call my wife. She wanted to 'surprise' me with some Ghost Pepper beef jerky that she got from a friend. Apparently the meat is marinated in a nice blend of soy sauce and a mash made of ghost peppers and habanero peppers. My asshole is squirting napalm about every 30 minutes now. I have to admit it's blistering hot, and I do like it. However, not knowing I was about to tongue Satan's asshole while driving 75 on the interstate....that's bad, mmmmmmkay.