Gorilla drags tourist off into the jungle

Dec 8, 2004
He weighs more than 30 stone and is nearly 6ft tall. Built like a brick outhouse, he could probably crush your skull in his hand.

So the important thing to remember when you're invited into a silverback gorilla's backyard is just who's the boss. Oh, yes. And don't look him in the eye unless you want to start a fight.

Scroll down for more...

Sighting: The group of tourists catch their first glimpse of the 30 stone male as they wade through the Rwanda undergrowth

Stand-off: The jungle giant, joined by a younger member of its family, looks down warily as the visitors smile and take pictures

Sulky: The male momentarily turns away, with a look that says he's not too happy

Scarey: Suddenly, the silverback rears up and pounds his chest with his huge fists

Snarling: Next second, the tourists reel back in terror as the gorilla launches itself at them

Snatched: With astonishing strength, the male hauls away a man in a blue anorak

Stepping in: A ranger waves a coat to distract the gorilla as the man scrambles away

Safe: White-faced with shock, the hapless tourist finally makes it back to his companions

These were the golden rules that a hapless tourist might have forgotten when he encountered the biggest and strongest primate on Earth on its home territory in Rwanda.

One moment he was standing with a video camera as the magnificent creature quietly held court before a group of sightseeers. The next, he was being dragged backwards through the undergrowth to a terrifyingly uncertain fate.

Quite what provoked the normally placid silverback into stamping his authority so forcefully is uncertain.

He has long been the undisputed leader of a family of gorillas in the 39-strong Susa group that inhabits the Virunga mountain forests on the northern border of Rwanda, Uganda and the Congo, and is well used to dealing with troublemakers.

He is even quite chummy with humans, whose money and patronage helps support the planet's desperately dwindling gorilla population.

There are currently fewer than 650 individuals scattered across several hundred square miles of this region and, without help, they could vanish.

So it's clearly a jungle out there – and sometimes homo sapiens can suffer the consequences for taking liberties with our most intelligent mammalian cousins.

The clue probably came when the male started to parade intimidatingly close to the group of tourists, led by local rangers – beating his breast like a drum.

Suddenly, he charged at the crowd. Then he snatched a blue-anoraked man by one ankle and dragged him towards the trees.

Maybe the thrill of seeing gorillas in the wild had caused the tourist to forget the advice the rangers would have given before everyone set off on the trek – no flashguns... no noise... don't point... look away if they make eye contact... and melt into the ground if they charge.

It worked a treat for Sir David Attenborough – but whispering subservience patently wasn't adequate this time. One likely explanation is that the tourist – an American – got between the male gorilla and the true object of its attentions, a young female on the far side of the group.

Or perhaps the gorilla was simply being playful (not that it would have seemed like that to someone being kidnapped by a chest-thumping male like this one, of course).

"Playful" could have involved tossing the man against a tree, or cuffing him jovially around the face. Precisely what happened between man and beast in the few seconds the pair disappeared is difficult to establish.

Rangers stepped in to separate them by whacking the gorilla with sticks and waving bright clothing.

The tourist emerged unscathed, although somewhat shocked, according to onlookers. The gorilla went back to its lunch – and never gave any clue to what happened.

Thus, the encounter remains one of the many fascinations these beautiful and awesomely powerful creatures hold for Man.

But at the very least, it may have provided the answer to that age-old schoolboy riddle: What does a 30-stone gorilla do when he's sitting on your lap?

Answer: Anything he jolly well likes.



I'm a corpse without a soul...
Nov 4, 2002
Shitsville, NY
Patrice, you should not drag whitey like that !


In The Danger Zone...
Wackbag Staff
Aug 26, 2002
Your house, behind the couch
Precisely what happened between man and beast in the few seconds the pair disappeared is difficult to establish.
"But the man now constantly sits on his hands in a corner sobbing."


U. S. Backstroke Roulette Champion
Jul 30, 2005
BumFuck-Egypt, KY
Just before the attack, one of the witnesses thought they heard the Gorilla ask "Which wayz Norf???".:D


What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
I love to see their faces go from snooty, haughty, privileged on vacation to terror at being one rung down on the food chain.

And that gorilla's hairless, shiny, leather chest angers me. Looks like a bad gorilla suit.


I can keep rhythm with no metronome...
Jun 9, 2005
He wanted him a white woman. All gorillas are the same.

Butter Nuggets

Registered User
May 29, 2006
Parka shaped job applications should be required attire.

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
Florida's Nature Coast
I'm disappointed. I was expecting a photo of the gorilla administering a good ass-fucking to that guy.


Good eeeeeeeevening.
Wackbag Staff
Feb 10, 2006
Oceanside, NY
Haha it looks like the Gorilla just ass-r_ped him.


Supreme Champion!!!!!
Jan 14, 2002
Land of misfit toys
Oh, thought you may have had a gay experience with a golfer.:action-sm
Well the Norf American Urban Variety have much larger Penis' and are much more aggressive (especially when confined) than their African Cousins...if I recall my Textbooks correctly.


LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
right where I wanna be
Maybe the gorilla had flashbacks & though the guy was a piece of luggage (yeah, I think I'm dating myself with this one_)


Mother Shucker

I'm over here now.
Oct 13, 2004
Your Mom's box.
Well the Norf American Urban Variety have much larger Penis' and are much more aggressive (especially when confined) than their African Cousins...if I recall my Textbooks correctly.
So the NAHA (North American Hairless Ape) Is more dangerous then his African cousin?


Megatron Star!
Jan 26, 2006
Brooklyn, New York
Last time that guy takes a tour of Harlem....


"Get your stinkin paws off me you damn dirty ape!"