I almost got ran over by a train while I was walking on the train tracks to school since that was the shortest route ... It was pretty early since I had something special to do so it was still dark ... and while I was walking a train came really fast ... I jumped away the last second.
Well, the record store I worked for in the early 80's was robbed at gunpoint. My two co-workers and I found ourselves with a pistol to our heads and our hands tied behind our backs with packing tape. (Yeah, I know...HOT!)
Does that count?
I saved someone from drowning in the Delaware River years ago.
We were out in the river above New Hope and he stepped off a ledge
into a deep section with fast current and he couldn't swim.
I swam to him and pulled him back to a low spot where he could stand
again and get his breath back.
Guess that's as close as I've been to one.
I once slipped on icy steps, landed on the stair corners on my back and heard a crack. I couldn't move my arms or legs right away, thought I was paralyzed at first, but then after what seemed like minutes, but was probably only secods, I was able to move again.
I was working as a bouncer at a strip club in Denver and we threw out a really drunk guy. We were standing outside, and the guy went to his car, got a revolver, and unloaded on us. He missed my head by less than a foot. We subdued him shorty after. Drunks don't aim well.
I once was in the ocean and was carried out by the undertow. I forget what it's called, it's when a sandbar breaks. I told the people around me and they yelled for the lifeguard. He came diving through the waves and saved me.
And since you're wondering, yes, he was quite strapping.
Doctor missed the fact that I had a ruptured appendix and sent me home. (yes I sued and got a settlement).
Without going through all the details - I ended up in an emergency room being told I would be dead in few hours without surgery and even if I made it into surgery, the chances were slim I would make it through. The nurse handed me a pen and paper to make out a will and asked if there was anyone I wanted to call while I still had a chance.
Second one (actually happened about 8 years before the first)
Myself and a few other people spun out on a section of road covered in black ice late at night. This was before the ubiquity of cell phones. I was OK and my car (a little 2 seater) had ended up mostly on the shoulder of the road but facing the right direction. Engine was running and lights and hazards were on. The other cars weren't so lucky. I had gotten out of my car to check on those drivers and decided that I would try to drive to the next exit to get help. As I was getting into my car, one of the other drivers starts yelling at me. I turn my head to see a car heading straight for me. I dive over the guardrail just as the oncoming car hits my car. It flipped my car around, slamming it into the guardrail right in front of me, and then shoving it for about 25 feet. The car that hit mine then actually swerved left slightly and continued. The section of road was a hill and sloped down and toward the median. My car slid on the black ice into the median and proceeded to explode. There is no way I would have survived the hit, and if I did, I would have been trapped in the car when it went up.
I climbed back over the guardrail, staring at what was left of my car. I wasn't paying attention and walked a little too far into the lane, slipped on the black ice and slide across the road to the median as well. There were a group of people from one of the other cars there. For about an hour, we ran up and down the median avoiding the next few cars that came along and spun out as well. Eventually some troopers showed up, but it took them a few tries to successfully guide their cars to a stop because of the ice. NYS actually sent me a bill to replace the section of guardrail.
Anthony told the story of when we went hiking and wound up walking up and down a mountain for 24 hours. We had to sleep in a lean-to where we had seen a bear just a few yards away. It was so cold we could've easily gotten hypothermia. Luckily, it was also raining the whole time so we didn't completely dehydrate.
I did almost pass out under my coat though. We were using my fall jacket as a blanket. I was under it breathing. I woke up disoriented and woozy. Right before I felt myself blacking out, I moved the coat and realized I wasn't getting enough oxygen.
We never got lost thank god. We were very lucky that we found the lean-to right after it got dark. If we had to spend the night in the woods, in the rain, unable to see the trail, things really could've gotten out of hand.
Also, one time I was trying to do a hand stand and slipped. I landed on my head. Something in my back wrenched. I was completely naseaus and could barely move. I thought I broke my damn neck. Instead, I just got dumber from the head knock wocka wocka.
Me and my degenerate friends used to think its a good idea to go down to some of the more lovely parts of dc and rob drug dealers, one time we robbed this dude for like an ounce of coke he starting shooting at my old car and had i not had the george foreman grill in the back a bullet would've been lodged into my spine needless to say that was the last time I ever did that shit.
I had a major one a few weeks ago. I work two 12 hour overnight shifts on the weekends Sat/Sun nights. I live about an hour away from where I work. I was driving home Sunday morning after a really busy night at work and was really drowsy. I was driving in the express lane, just about at exit 123 on the NJ Parkway (right before the rest area) and I fell asleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was looking in my rearview mirror for cops because I was doing around 80 MPH and didn't want a ticket, then ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I fell asleep on a straight stretch of road and kept going straight as the road began to curve towards the left. I woke up as my car was leaving the road and was commited to an uneven valley of grass between the express and local lanes.
My first thought was "Fuck!!! Like this? Today? Fuck!!" I was convinced this was my death. I started braking and swerving trying to regain controll of the car. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. I swear it felt like I had almost a supernatural 360 degree view of my surroundings. The car began to tip towards the passenger side, and I cut the wheel towards the right, much like you would if you where skidding on ice and I kept the car from flipping. If you are ever in a situation where you are about to roll a car, apparently that works. Turn towards the roll.
I still had little or no control of the car and was baha-ing (sp?) across the grass that was pitched between 30 to 45 degrees on either side. I slammed my head a few times on the roof as my car was bouncing over the green. I kept cutting my wheel from one side to the other fighting to keep the car from going into a spin or rolling. All the while I was trying to stop the car. I was now almost clear of the grass and was heading into the local lane with on coming traffic. I then remember thinking "Fuck!!! What if I survive this? I will be a vegetable or a quadrapalegic." I was positive that I would get t-boned by oncoming traffic. Luckily only one car was coming. He saw what was happening and slowed down and crossed two lanes to avoid me. I was still skidding at a 45 degree angle as I crossed all three local lanes but I had slowed the car to about 10 MPH by now.
I was down to about only 3 or 4 miles per hour and nearly had full contoll of the car again as I crossed the shoulder lane and came to a rest after hitting a cement barrier at the side of the shoulder. If I had another 2 or 3 feet, I never would have even hit that. I sat there for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and took stock that I was still alive without a scratch, and no one else crashed or was injured because of me. I then punched the roof of the car and let out a Ric Flair Whoooooooooooooo. I applied the gas and was amazed that the car was still drivable. I got off at exit 117 as usual and drove the last 10 minutes of my commute home. I began to think that I hadn't even damaged the car , it wasn't as bad as I initially thought and I might not even have to report it.
When I got home and got out of the car and and looked at it, it was another story. The entire grill was folded under and the passenger side was pretty dented and scraped. There were also huge tufts of grass hanging from everywhere on the undercarriage. I called my insurance company, and took the car to get repaired. I did over 4 grand in damage. The allignment was fucked, several panels needed to be fixed or replaced, even the radiator and the fan were bent, but it was mostly just cosmetic damage to the car.
The next day I drove past the area (in another car obviously) and was amazed at how fucking lucky I was. Everywhere else on the Parkway is seperated by either concrete barriers or gaurdrails. There was only a small opening where I left the road where it was possible to cross the dividing grass without hitting something. I was so fucking lucky. I recorded the stretch of road where it happened with my camera, here it is. I added arrows to demonstrate my route.
Back in the days I was bouncing at a club in the hamptons hooked up with this chick one night. All night working she was all over me so when the night was over she waited for me to get off so we could hang out. Long story short we hang out, she tells me she just broke up with a nut job, I go to take her home around 6 in the morning we were followed to her house and as were sitting in the car bullshitting I see the car a couple houses back person gets out she say's it was the ex Im watching this person creeping up to the passenger side of my car and I seen a nice shiny pistol in his hand didn't stay long stepped on the gas and got the fuck out of there went and dropped her off at her friends house and that was the end of her and working at the club didn't need to be hunted down...Fuck that.
Last fall, I was jumping my bike, decided after a several hour long jump session to do one more small one. I got into the air wrong, the bike landed sideways with the handlebar sticking straight up from the ground. I landed chest-first on the bar, perpendicular to it. The most scared I've ever been because this was the one injury that I knew I couldn't get out of. Regardless of the pain and the injury, I rode myself home. The close to death part about it was only a few days before, I closed off the handlebar ends with heavy duty thick caps, as I normally ran them open. Had they not been there, I would have had an intrusion and core sample taken of my heart. Over the next few days, we were monitoring for bleeding into the pericardial space, as the impact was directly over my heart.
The next one was the gf and I were riding our bikes in NYC, uptown where the people were white. We're riding up a street, and all of a sudden, we see a car swing out from behind an oncoming car, full throttle. There was no time to react, and he saw me and suddenly swung back in front of the guy. I basically saw the license plate and hood in front of me, didn't have time to process, then pulled over and nearly shut down.
Had a seized brake caliper and was far from home, so had to jerry rig it to get the car moving again. Was at a remote parking lot at my university. No one there, no real traffic, and very far from help. No one could hear a call for help. I jacked the car up, ready to remove the wheel (unbolted). The wind blew really hard and shifted the car just enough to unbalance the jack. The car starts shifting with my hand inside the wheelweel, on top of the wheel at about 12 o'clock. Not enough time or space to remove it, not the car comes down on my hand and sandwiches it between the wheel and the wheelwell. The car is continuing to shift now. The wheelwell rim was very sharp and had I not been wearing a watch that day, it would have cut in because it was rubbing against the band. I kept pulling, but couldn't get my hand out. Couldn't reach the jack, no one around. I kept pulling and the car kept moving, pulling my hand more and more into the wheelwell. Finally, I got it out and less than a second later, the car completely dropped. I would have lost my hand that one second later. Don't know how. Broken hand (inconclusive), but I made it out. That fucked me up good.
about 8 yrs ago a friend and me were the only two left after a night of partying, still wired and looking for a good time we called some strippers from the phone book. After partying with them for a couple of hours I heard banging on the front door, when I opened it I was staring a pistol right in my face and a very angry fella who was about my age. after regaining my composure and control of my bowels I talked him down and fiqured out what was wrong..............It was his girlfriend who was sucking my dick for 150 dollars.
First was at birth, the stupid umbilical cord was wrapped tight around my neck the whole way out. Guess stupid me wanted to live that day. If I had only known what I was getting myself into.
Second, walking home from a 3 day bender during my coke days, and 3 ******* jump me, one points a gun at my face. I was so strung out & tired at that point I smiled at him. I think I'm mostly lucky though that the wrong one had the gun, you could almost tell he didn't have it in him to pull the trigger. I cleaned myself up shortly after that.
i had a hang nail once...i thought it would get infected and i would die
actually...closest i came was a few years ago...I was in the passenger seat as a "friend" ( i use quotes b/c after this incident i didn't hear from him for 2 years...good friend) and I were driving home from Philly. He ran a stop sign and got slammed i believe right behind his door (never saw the car so i don't know for sure, i was holding onto the "oh shit" handle lost my grip in the impact and slammed my arm onto the car door breaking my arm in 4 places just above my elbow...when the EMT's finally came and got me out i looked back as i was walking to the ambulance the car came to rest on the curb of a street line with about 3' tall cement posts..if the car turned just a little more i would have slammed right into them...not sure if they would have torn through the car and killed me...but i'm glad i never had to find out
I was born with spinal meningitis. So my mother and I almost died as she was very sick when I was born and I was very sick. Luckily I had a top notch doctor who I heard still works at the hospital I was born in, figured everything out and I'm still walking around today.
i was 18 months old and was out by my pool when my babysitter went inside to answer the phone because her stupid boyfriend called. my toy fell in the water and i went in to get it like an ass, i was at the bottom of the pool for 5 minutes until my neighbor fished me out gave me mouth to mouth (hot) and brought me back to life....years later i saw that cunt babysitter at a wedding and she had toilet paper stuck to her shoe
Stopped by a buddies house on my way home from work one day. Sunny Friday afternoon and we're hanging out front of his house having a few beers. This car rolls up and out pops this dude who instantly starts screaming at my buddy. Apparently, this dude had been driving by my friends house and saw his girlfiriends car parked there all night....oops. He Really, really was not happy. My friend basically tells him to leave before he gets his ass kicked so dude walks back to his car and grabs a .45 off his front seat. Crying, shaking and yelling he is swinging the gun from my friends face to my face, back and forth....it felt like forever and I'm getting a sick feeling just talking about it. Dude just STOPS....walks back to his car and drives off.
Another time, I'm at this party taking a leak in the bathroom when I hear an arguement start right outside the door. I finish up and open the bathroom door and this guy I know swings around and points a small pistol right into my face....like a half inch in front of my face. He was fighting with another friend of mine (who's on the other side of the room with a chef's knife) when I opened the door a scared him.
When I was a teenager, me and a bunch of my friends went to Jones Beach one night to party and mess around with our girlfriends and shit. We all dragged one of those big, wooden lifeguard chairs out into the water and were hanging out on it, diving into the water etc. This kid dives off and winds up tipping the chair over as he pushes off with his feet. I fall backwards, through the criss cross leg support boards and basically wind up in a cage...under water. I had no idea which way was up and the chair was getting bounced around from the breaking waves. I kept fucking swimming DOWN and hitting fucking boards and shit. I honestly don't even remember how I got out of it and to this day, drowning is one of my biggest fears.