Movie Hellboy: Rise of the Blood Queen - March 2019 (R-Rated Reboot) (Dir: Neil Marshall, Starring David Harbour)

Bobobie

Registered User
Sounds like he has marbles in his mouth. They couldn't get someone who can enunciate? This is the Sheriff from Stranger Things right?
 

Guilty Spark

It's freeing and refreshing
I’m not breaking any new ground here but I think they got it right the first time.
And yeah he speaks as if he has 10 pounds of rubber and makeup on his head
 

Bobobie

Registered User
This isn't your Fathers Hellboy. Leave the kiddies at home.
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder

Practical effects everybody. Practical effects.

(One of the worst effects I have ever seen is at 1:25.)
 

HandPanzer

Shantih Shantih Shantih

Practical effects everybody. Practical effects.

(One of the worst effects I have ever seen is at 1:25.)
I'll say I'm boycotting because Perlman's my Hellboy 4lyfe, but really it's just because of how bad this looks.
 
I'll say I'm boycotting because Perlman's my Hellboy 4lyfe, but really it's just because of how bad this looks.
There's so many shitty things that its hard to pick from them all.

Why is there a china-cheeta-man? I've read at least a dozen plus Hellboy comics story lines and never seen this dude.

I still wish the movie was small scale like the comics. The best Hellboy stories are him playing detective and trying to find the source of some paranormal mystery. No side kicks, no end of the world Marvel-esk scenario, just good writing and some action in a few places.
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
There's so many shitty things that its hard to pick from them all.

Why is there a china-cheeta-man? I've read at least a dozen plus Hellboy comics story lines and never seen this dude.

I still wish the movie was small scale like the comics. The best Hellboy stories are him playing detective and trying to find the source of some paranormal mystery. No side kicks, no end of the world Marvel-esk scenario, just good writing and some action in a few places.
The irony is, if this movie tried to be smaller scale it wouldn't look nearly as cheap as the Epic Hellboy Adventure it's going for.
 
One thing I really enjoy about the comics that the movies don't really touch on is the locals Hellboy ruins into to gather clues and bits of information from. The first movie had the talking corpse but other than that it wasn't really touched on.



 

Radioguy

Having it my way since '98
Why is there a china-cheeta-man? I've read at least a dozen plus Hellboy comics story lines and never seen this dude.
Chinese sales might be the only way this could make a profit. It's crap otherwise, and what benefit of the doubt I was giving David Harbour is gone now. He's a mumblemouth compared to Perlman.

If this crashes and burns, I wonder if the door is 100% closed to a third Perlman film when folks can be younged up now (if needed).
 

LiddyRules

Regional Sales Rep for Fontaine Fish Finder
There's so many shitty things that its hard to pick from them all.

Why is there a china-cheeta-man? I've read at least a dozen plus Hellboy comics story lines and never seen this dude.

I still wish the movie was small scale like the comics. The best Hellboy stories are him playing detective and trying to find the source of some paranormal mystery. No side kicks, no end of the world Marvel-esk scenario, just good writing and some action in a few places.
https://hellboy.fandom.com/wiki/Benjamin_Daimio
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Daimio

A formerly dead United States Marine, Daimio suffers from a curse that transforms him into a horrific jaguar-like creature.
 
Looks like he's mostly a BPRD character. Explains why I never saw him before because I never read that series.

He's a mumble mouth compared to Perlman.
I thought I heard him slurring his words together.

Speaking of Perlman is he going crazy? I keep seeing people post his tweets where he's challenging Trump to fights and posing with Mexicans and saying fuck the wall.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Sometimes I enjoy being right. And sometimes there's this:



From May of 2017:

Batman worked once, earning a second try. Also, Batman is...you know, Batman. This is the rough equivalent of a Spawn or maybe Blade reboot, which would get the same facepalm.

The facepalm is also for the R rated version. Not necessary for this property and seems like a desperation move to catch onto a "trend" that's not really a trend and also an excuse for when the movie tanks. The first two movies had respectable budgets of $66 and $85 million. GDT's version died likely because he was looking for $100 million to really take it over the top. The R rating means you're looking at a budget of $50 million at most, and likely less than that. Yeesh.
Coming to HitW in 2019!
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Reviews are in, and I'm happy to report that @HandPanzer (god rest his soul) and I were completely wrong to ever doubt this film!


"It's two hours long but feels like an eternity, lurching incoherently from one noisy set-piece to another."

"Marshall and screenwriter Andrew Cosby went overboard with their R-rating, introducing so much gore and profanity that it, quite frankly, gets dull. The flat performances and incoherent story do not help matters."

"It's really a series of violent vignettes strung together, getting more and more outlandish and introducing characters at such a blistering pace that you just want it to stop already."

"Between the overblown poor CG, witless dialogue and pervasive, numbing violence, the new "Hellboy" deserves its own special circle in Dante's inferno.'

"Hellboy might not be 'Uwe Boll bad,' but it's pretty damn close. A complete embarrassment."

"A dizzying and overstuffed adaptation that left me utterly exhausted. David Harbour gives it his all and there's some very impressive practical effects work on display, but it's not worth the headache I walked out with. " (Practical effects @LiddyRules !!!)

"Somewhere out there right now Guillermo del Toro is crying to himself saying "sometimes dead is better"."

"One of the most incomprehensible theatrical experiences I've had in my lifetime."

"Hellboy is some very ill-advised cinema, and those who enjoy the prospect of cinematic trainwrecks are likely to get some joy out of this. Everyone else... well, you all know where to find the better version."

And my favorite review so far:
"In a word, Hellboy is unpleasant. Other appropriate adjectives to describe this reboot include dreadful, obnoxious, unnecessary, and interminable."
 
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