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Help me Jew my cable

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by Ari Shaffir, Aug 22, 2007.

  1. Ari Shaffir

    Ari Shaffir Registered User

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    I don't understand where this is supposed to go. It doesn't seem like it should be on the "friends and guests of the show." So I'm putting it here.

    Ever since I've lived in this apartment, I've had free cable. Every time it's gone out in the 5 years I've lived here, some angel goes down and plugs everyone's cable back in. That way nobody gets caught. But this time it went out and it's been 10 days and I'm starting to fear that the cable fairy has moved out of my building.

    So I went down there to see if I could do it myself and there are these weird caps on the sockets where the cables are supposed to plug in. These caps don't unscrew and they make it so that the plug can't touch the socket.

    If anyone knows how to get around this problem, I'd love to hear it.

    I'm reaching out to you, the degenerate Opie and Anthony listener, to help keep an honest Jew from having to forsake his heritage and actually pay for something. No one wants that.

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  2. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    Man up and start paying, you cheap fucker. :action-sm
     
  3. Ari Shaffir

    Ari Shaffir Registered User

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    See, in my culture, manning up involves NOT paying for things. Jews and the Ferengi are really similar.
     
  4. Cha94

    Cha94 Open up your mind, pick up your brain

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    There's a switch for it in the shower.
     
  5. fuckwit

    fuckwit He loves you, and he needs money.

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    if you can find which cable is yours just plug it in any of the empty slots there
     
  6. Ari Shaffir

    Ari Shaffir Registered User

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    I found my cable. But those slots don't work. They're just flat on the inside because it's a cap and not the actual slot. The ones with cables already in there are shorter because they don't have caps on them. Those are the fools who pay.
     
  7. d0uche_n0zzle

    d0uche_n0zzle **Negative_Creep**

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    You could look on the Interweb or e-Bay for a cable tool to remove such cap. Or you could slip the cable guy a few bucks to hook your shit up on the DL, that is, if he isn't some Nazi skinhead.
     
  8. Farm Flufer

    Farm Flufer P.I.S.S. #202

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    Have you tried pliers?
     
  9. CM Mark

    CM Mark The East is Ours!

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    All the info you need, including what tools will help out immensly, can be found here
     
  10. Ari Shaffir

    Ari Shaffir Registered User

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    Yeah. I think that's my next step. I just wish someone knew an easy way to get those off, because I think pliers aren't gonna work and is just gonna screw up the sockets.
     
  11. Ari Shaffir

    Ari Shaffir Registered User

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    That made me laugh. It was such a switch from what I was hoping for and what it turned out to be. Not helpful at all, but a solid response nonetheless.
     
  12. jlhoyt13432

    jlhoyt13432 Registered User

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    Where's Lazlow when you need him?
     
  13. oppie1

    oppie1 Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?

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    pliers will not work on those.. you need a plunger tool. they're locks so people cant steal cable. thats the whole point of them. i have a tool (since i work for the cable company) and no you cant borrow it
     
  14. fuckwit

    fuckwit He loves you, and he needs money.

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    i dont know what the tool actually looks like but it probably screws on. conceivably maybe you could go to a hardware store and buy a couple nuts to screw on there and lock them up then use it as a pliers grip
     
  15. Buster H

    Buster H Alt-F4
    Wackbag Staff

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    sorry Ari. No idea how to remove that cap


    very funny sir
     
  16. CM Mark

    CM Mark The East is Ours!

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    Sorry guys, wrong link. Try this one
     
  17. oppie1

    oppie1 Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?

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    will not work.. they're made up of 2 pieces that spin independently from each other. you need a tool that goes down the middle hole and locks in the inner spinner to unlock it

    but everyones assumptions on how to get them off are comical :)
     
  18. fuckwit

    fuckwit He loves you, and he needs money.

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    fucking cable company. ok splice into your neighbors line screw this contraption.


    its wierd that they dont use these in my building. comcast must not give a shit
     
  19. sniper

    sniper Front, and to the right...
    Wackbag Staff It's My Birthday!

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  20. hypes

    hypes Flying over your heads

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    Just so you know...

    Those thin plugs where you can't plug your coax cable into are used by cable companies to they can detect if someone is using their cable when they shouldn't. If you untwist the plug, it will signal the cable company that someone is tampering with the line (due to a drop in attenuation on that splitter) and they'll dispatch someone to find out who did it.

    So someone has clued them in on your appropriation of their service. Also, there's a large fine if your caught stealing their service...but then I Am Not A Lawyer...just an engineer who knows how these things work.

    -h
     
  21. oppie1

    oppie1 Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?

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    that is only true if they're addressable taps... comcast here in the Philly region does not use addressable taps so that is not true for here..

    those do not look like addressable by the looks of the pics and the values... so that doesnt metter here
     
  22. sniper

    sniper Front, and to the right...
    Wackbag Staff It's My Birthday!

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    yeah, i'm getting great comic relief from this thread too.
     
  23. jackjack

    jackjack Registered User

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    If they are addressable taps it wouldn't matter if you connected your cable to them, they'd be shut off.
     
  24. oppie1

    oppie1 Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?

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    exactly.. they will be able to tell the terminator was taken off, but the tap port wouldnt be hot till they turned on. they cannot tell onunaddressable taps that yout took a terminator w/ a 75ohm resister off of it.

    its a moot point anyway
     
  25. sniper

    sniper Front, and to the right...
    Wackbag Staff It's My Birthday!

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