Help me Jew my cable

Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir

Registered User
#1
Dec 4, 2006
357
0
16
Hollywood
#1
I don't understand where this is supposed to go. It doesn't seem like it should be on the "friends and guests of the show." So I'm putting it here.

Ever since I've lived in this apartment, I've had free cable. Every time it's gone out in the 5 years I've lived here, some angel goes down and plugs everyone's cable back in. That way nobody gets caught. But this time it went out and it's been 10 days and I'm starting to fear that the cable fairy has moved out of my building.

So I went down there to see if I could do it myself and there are these weird caps on the sockets where the cables are supposed to plug in. These caps don't unscrew and they make it so that the plug can't touch the socket.

If anyone knows how to get around this problem, I'd love to hear it.

I'm reaching out to you, the degenerate Opie and Anthony listener, to help keep an honest Jew from having to forsake his heritage and actually pay for something. No one wants that.









 
Cha94

Cha94

Open up your mind, pick up your brain
#4
Aug 12, 2003
456
18
673
Leesport, Pa
#4
There's a switch for it in the shower.
 
fuckwit

fuckwit

He loves you, and he needs money.
#5
Jul 27, 2006
3,019
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0
jersey
#5
if you can find which cable is yours just plug it in any of the empty slots there
 
Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir

Registered User
#6
Dec 4, 2006
357
0
16
Hollywood
#6
I found my cable. But those slots don't work. They're just flat on the inside because it's a cap and not the actual slot. The ones with cables already in there are shorter because they don't have caps on them. Those are the fools who pay.
 
d0uche_n0zzle

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
#7
Sep 15, 2004
46,938
6,974
763
F.U.B.A.R
#7
You could look on the Interweb or e-Bay for a cable tool to remove such cap. Or you could slip the cable guy a few bucks to hook your shit up on the DL, that is, if he isn't some Nazi skinhead.
 
Ari Shaffir

Ari Shaffir

Registered User
#11
Dec 4, 2006
357
0
16
Hollywood
#11
CM Mark said:
All the info you need, including what tools will help out immensly, can be found here
Click to expand...
That made me laugh. It was such a switch from what I was hoping for and what it turned out to be. Not helpful at all, but a solid response nonetheless.
 
O

oppie1

Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?
#13
May 30, 2003
148
0
371
Pottstown, Pa
#13
Ari Shaffir said:
Yeah. I think that's my next step. I just wish someone knew an easy way to get those off, because I think pliers aren't gonna work and is just gonna screw up the sockets.
Click to expand...
pliers will not work on those.. you need a plunger tool. they're locks so people cant steal cable. thats the whole point of them. i have a tool (since i work for the cable company) and no you cant borrow it
 
fuckwit

fuckwit

He loves you, and he needs money.
#14
Jul 27, 2006
3,019
0
0
jersey
#14
Ari Shaffir said:
Yeah. I think that's my next step. I just wish someone knew an easy way to get those off, because I think pliers aren't gonna work and is just gonna screw up the sockets.
Click to expand...
i dont know what the tool actually looks like but it probably screws on. conceivably maybe you could go to a hardware store and buy a couple nuts to screw on there and lock them up then use it as a pliers grip
 
O

oppie1

Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?
#17
May 30, 2003
148
0
371
Pottstown, Pa
#17
fuckwit said:
i dont know what the tool actually looks like but it probably screws on. conceivably maybe you could go to a hardware store and buy a couple nuts to screw on there and lock them up then use it as a pliers grip
Click to expand...
will not work.. they're made up of 2 pieces that spin independently from each other. you need a tool that goes down the middle hole and locks in the inner spinner to unlock it

but everyones assumptions on how to get them off are comical :)
 
fuckwit

fuckwit

He loves you, and he needs money.
#18
Jul 27, 2006
3,019
0
0
jersey
#18
oppie1 said:
will not work.. they're made up of 2 pieces that spin independently from each other. you need a tool that goes down the middle hole and locks in the inner spinner to unlock it

but everyones assumptions on how to get them off are comical :)
Click to expand...
fucking cable company. ok splice into your neighbors line screw this contraption.


its wierd that they dont use these in my building. comcast must not give a shit
 
H

hypes

Flying over your heads
#20
Sep 23, 2004
453
1
221
Iowa
#20
Just so you know...

Those thin plugs where you can't plug your coax cable into are used by cable companies to they can detect if someone is using their cable when they shouldn't. If you untwist the plug, it will signal the cable company that someone is tampering with the line (due to a drop in attenuation on that splitter) and they'll dispatch someone to find out who did it.

So someone has clued them in on your appropriation of their service. Also, there's a large fine if your caught stealing their service...but then I Am Not A Lawyer...just an engineer who knows how these things work.

-h
 
O

oppie1

Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?
#21
May 30, 2003
148
0
371
Pottstown, Pa
#21
hypes said:
Just so you know...

Those thin plugs where you can't plug your coax cable into are used by cable companies to they can detect if someone is using their cable when they shouldn't. If you untwist the plug, it will signal the cable company that someone is tampering with the line (due to a drop in attenuation on that splitter) and they'll dispatch someone to find out who did it.

So someone has clued them in on your appropriation of their service. Also, there's a large fine if your caught stealing their service...but then I Am Not A Lawyer...just an engineer who knows how these things work.

-h

Just
Click to expand...
that is only true if they're addressable taps... comcast here in the Philly region does not use addressable taps so that is not true for here..

those do not look like addressable by the looks of the pics and the values... so that doesnt metter here
 
sniper

sniper

Front, and to the right...
Wackbag Staff
It's My Birthday!
#22
Oct 13, 2004
3,850
0
341
Masshole
#22
oppie1 said:
will not work.. they're made up of 2 pieces that spin independently from each other. you need a tool that goes down the middle hole and locks in the inner spinner to unlock it

but everyones assumptions on how to get them off are comical :)
Click to expand...
yeah, i'm getting great comic relief from this thread too.
 
jackjack

jackjack

Registered User
#23
May 12, 2007
4,994
0
0
Daytona Beach
#23
oppie1 said:
that is only true if they're addressable taps... comcast here in the Philly region does not use addressable taps so that is not true for here..

those do not look like addressable by the looks of the pics and the values... so that doesnt metter here
Click to expand...
If they are addressable taps it wouldn't matter if you connected your cable to them, they'd be shut off.
 
O

oppie1

Excuse me sir, could you get my piggies?
#24
May 30, 2003
148
0
371
Pottstown, Pa
#24
jackjack said:
If they are addressable taps it wouldn't matter if you connected your cable to them, they'd be shut off.
Click to expand...
exactly.. they will be able to tell the terminator was taken off, but the tap port wouldnt be hot till they turned on. they cannot tell onunaddressable taps that yout took a terminator w/ a 75ohm resister off of it.

its a moot point anyway
 
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