Here's a nice story for all you Republicans.......

Jul 12, 2001
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Lawnguyland
#1
The Story of Billy the Conservative

Billy was your ordinary Republican who graduated from High School and went to college, where he became active in the local Republican club. There he informed other students of the correct way of thinking regarding politics, and he became incensed against the evil ways of the Democrats.
One day, Billy led a demonstration against the town’s local food-stamp distribution center. Walking through the front door railing against government handouts he ran into his own mother!! His mother, the 400 pound beauty who had raised him as a proud Republican all his days, was collecting food-stamps!!! He railed against her, “All these years I thought you believed in the virtues of hard work and the American way! Why have you betrayed your country? Why couldn’t you put your faith in the rich bankers, the Wall Street fat cats, the CEOs, and the Republican Party?” Heartbroken, Billy want out of the place, never to talk to his mother again……

After graduation, Billy, despite his trust in the rich bankers, the Wall Street fat cats, the CEOs, and the rich to create a job that would allow him to pursue the American dream, Billy failed to find a job. Starving, he swallowed his pride and went to the food-stamp distribution center, where he ran into his mother. His mother saw him, and he saw his mother, and they both cried and hugged each other, thanking God, Jesus Christ, and House Speaker Boehner that they had reunited again. His mother said, “Let’s go home…”

On the ride to their trailer, the 400 hundred pound mother turned on the radio, and there was Rush Limbaugh speaking. Mother looked at son, and son looked at Mother. Arriving at the trailer, they turned Rush on in the trailer, and the mood was set. Rush’s voice oozed out of the radio, a voice that turns on all conservatives on. Many times had Billy sat alone listening to Rush, feeling the need to masturbate to Rush’s wisdom, and so, with the mood set, Billy’s 400 pound mother began to dance and strip in a sexy way to the timing of smooth Rush’s poetic voice. Unable to restrain himself, Billy leaped at his mommy, pushing away the rolls of fat to find the hairy vagina that had given him birth, so that he may be able to put a piece of his flesh in the spot from which he had come out the day he was born; and so they made love as only Republicans can do in that small trailer.
Afterwards, they walked out of the trailer, and looked up at the American flag. It was a windless day, but the flag fluttered on the streams of patriotism that was radiating from mother and son.
All of a sudden, his mother had a heart attack, and he was forced to bring her to the hospital. Though he was afraid, he was glad that the Republicans had repealed Obama-care, and that the market would make things right. Going up to the doctor, Billy asked what was to be done to his beloved mother. The doctor replied, “She has insurance, but unfortunately the insurance company has just canceled her policy five minutes ago. I’m sorry son, but it seems that she will just have to go without care until she’s dead as a beached whale.” The doctor shook his head and slowly walked away. And so he stayed with his dead mother’s bloated corpse outside on the sidewalk next to the hospital, wondering what to do, when a butcher came up and said, “See here son, ever since the Republicans have disbanded the FDA, all the animals and meat have become contaminated with different diseases, and I can’t get the meat I need for my shop. However, I’m sure my customers can’t tell the difference between obese woman meat and pig meat, so can I pay you twenty bucks to butcher her? It isn’t like the government is going to regulate my business anymore." So Billy agreed, and the butcher took out his cleaver and started chopping the mommy fat for his sausages.
As Billy walked away, he realized that it was election day. He voted Republican.
The American flag flutters on a windless day, moved by patriotism
 

Neon

ネオン
Donator
Mar 23, 2008
51,803
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Kingdom of Charis
#2
Get down on your hands and knees and suck my republican cock, trolling piece of shit.

How do you like them apples?

Typical lefty garbage - yeah, those republicans are all fat hypocritical redneck baby fuckers, amirite? Better to have radical socialists with ties to terrorism and union mafia bosses running this country. Got it.


Go away.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,371
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#4
I don't think that story is true.
 

Atomic Fireball

Well-Known Member
Donator
Jul 26, 2005
6,323
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#5
What's the post count for starting threads?
 

MayrMeninoCrash

Liberal Psycopath
Dec 9, 2004
24,440
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693
Silverdale, WA
#6
I want to hear the Democrat version with Shanequa and her 10 burdens making her list of gimmedats to the MAN.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,424
22,058
398
Northern California
#8
I want to hear the Democrat version with Shanequa and her 10 burdens making her list of gimmedats to the MAN.
I think you just summed it up. :action-sm

By the way, I take a lot of offense to that story. I might be considered a hick by most (grew up on a dairy, do a lot of hunting and fishing, raised animals as a kid) and while I don't see myself as one I often vote Republican... but I'll have you know I would definitely stop fucking my mom before she reached 400 pounds. Stop spreading stereotypes.
 
Jul 12, 2001
301
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Lawnguyland
#9
Don't care what you white trash Republicans think. I loffed and loffed and loffed. And Neon, it's Mr. trolling piece of shit sir to you.
 

Mags

LDAR, bitch.
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
34,999
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Ill Repute
#11
Don't care what you white trash Republicans think. I loffed and loffed and loffed. And Neon, it's Mr. trolling piece of shit sir to you.
I'm all for bashing Republicans (and democrats) but there wasn't much funny in that boring story you posted.

Be more funny.
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,371
49,287
788
#14
The only thing funny is how poorly written the following sentence is:

After graduation, Billy, despite his trust in the rich bankers, the Wall Street fat cats, the CEOs, and the rich to create a job that would allow him to pursue the American dream, Billy failed to find a job.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
40,304
7,454
438
The Inland Empire State
#15
Get down on your hands and knees and suck my republican cock, trolling piece of shit.

How do you like them apples?

Typical lefty garbage - yeah, those republicans are all fat hypocritical redneck baby fuckers, amirite? Better to have radical socialists with ties to terrorism and union mafia bosses running this country. Got it.


Go away.


What's the post count for starting threads?
Dude's got more seniority than just about every mod on here. :icon_eek:
 

Pigdango

Silence, you mortal Fuck!
Donator
Jun 22, 2004
76,371
49,287
788
#16
Dude's got more seniority than just about every mod on here. :icon_eek:
Back in those days it was just him, Stingray, and Spotcheck Billy hanging around here dreaming of the day when they'd be able to get 15 replies to a thread in a day.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,750
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In a porn tree
#18
Don't care what you white trash Republicans think. I loffed and loffed and loffed. And Neon, it's Mr. trolling piece of shit sir to you.
Selden, Long Island.

Hey, shouldn't you be down at the 7-11 with the rest of your faggot ass liberal buddies blowing wetback day laborers? You bleeding heart liberals on that horrid island sure do love to lick illegal beaner balls and make them feel loved and appreciated, don't you?

Hey! Form a line, vatos! No need to push and shove... Costa will make sure and drain all of your sweaty brown ball sacks for you.

 
Jul 12, 2001
301
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863
Lawnguyland
#19
Selden, Long Island.

Hey, shouldn't you be down at the 7-11 with the rest of your faggot ass liberal buddies blowing wetback dayworkers? You bleeding heart liberals on that horrid island sure do love to lick illegal beaner balls and make them feel loved and appreciated, don't you.

Hey! Form a line, vatos! No need to push and shove... Costa will make sure and drain all of your sweaty brown ball sacks for you.

Actually it's Farmingville where that happens asswipe. Also I'm pretty antisocial myself, I hate people as a general rule.
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,750
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628
In a porn tree
#20
Actually it's Farmingville where that happens asswipe. Also I'm pretty antisocial myself, I hate people as a general rule.
Yep... a ten minute drive south and you're licking beaner sack... that's what happens alright.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
40,304
7,454
438
The Inland Empire State
#24
The only thing funny is how poorly written the following sentence is:
That writer was really a redundant ass. I can't remember, how much did the mother weigh again? :icon_roll

Then there's this...

Rush’s voice oozed out of the radio, a voice that turns on all conservatives on.
Back in those days it was just him, Stingray, and Spotcheck Billy hanging around here dreaming of the day when they'd be able to get 15 replies to a thread in a day.
Don't forget SonOfSpaz...:)