I almost went to jail today.

BravoSierra

Why do people keep calling me?
Jun 27, 2005
3,463
4
293
Berkeley, CA
#1
I went to jail for one night about 5 years ago.... I always told myself I'd never go back. It totally sucked.

But today I was biking to work, the same route I always fucking take... I pretty much haul ass through UC Berkeley every morning and my work is right on the other side of campus of where I live. If I hit a hippy... I hit a hippy.

Today, a fucking cop jumped in front of me telling me to get off my bike and walk. I weaved around him and said "I can't hear you." Hehe.... I heard him but I figured he's campus police. Rent-a-cop if you will. However, his partner on a Harley was right around the corner waiting for me. He pulled me over saying "I was running from the police." City police.... fair enough I thought. Once the other officer caught up, I was in handcuffs and just wanting to get to work. The cop was a total ass to me, showed ZERO respect... I was nothing but "Sir's and yessirs." I was running from the law blah blah blah because some douchebag thought I was biking through campus too fast. Fuck yourself.

Yes, I ignored your request of me getting off my bike and walking it.... I have better things to do. If I wanted to walk my bike, I'd just walk to work. Turns out... I knew all along.... the shop I work at fixes the police bicycles consistently, and it was nothing but smiles and respect from then on. Once I mentioned my employer my "jail sentence" turned into a "riding with headphones" (Yes, that's a fucking law I guess) and "Failure to walk my bike in a dismount area." Yes, that's also a fucking law. Fuck you. He knew I'd have too much pleasure with a speeding ticket on my bike... and he's right. I'll get that one within the year.... I'm rerouting my commute with a 25 mph zone and a steep ass hill to go down. I can hit that thing going 40 at least. HAHAHAHAHAH! Fuck that cop.


Cliff notes:
I got pulled over on a bike.
Cop was a douche bag.
I'll pay my $40 fine like a tool.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,290
8,970
768
#3
haha

i love it when they have nothing better to do
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,650
6,848
693
F.U.B.A.R
#4
If you were a different shade I'm sure they would have went Rodney King on you.
 

WhiteHonkyDevil

El hombre de los moleculos!
Dec 8, 2004
10,928
959
628
Detroit, MI
#5
Today, a fucking cop jumped in front of me telling me to get off my bike and walk. I weaved around him and said "I can't hear you." Hehe.... I heard him .
I notice you left that part off of the Cliff's Notes version
 

BCH

Doesn't need your acknowledgement on Twitter
Wackbag Staff
Jun 9, 2005
9,519
235
513
New York
#6
Running from the police is overstating the case a little. But you shoulda stopped silly.
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
13,852
608
Idaho
#8
I weaved around him and said "I can't hear you." Hehe.... I heard him but I figured he's campus police.

The cop was a total ass to me, showed ZERO respect... I was nothing but "Sir's and yessirs."
He he. :)
 

norton23

Opie And Anthony Always Win In The End
Dec 1, 2002
8,998
3
0
TITLE TOWN BABY!!!
#9
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
"DISMOUNT AREA"

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHa
 

Kris_LTRMa

LoseTheRadio.net's Ma
Nov 17, 2006
9,749
1
333
right where I wanna be
#11
so pretty much the moral of the story is don't run from campus cops because they might turn out to be more than rent-a-cops?
 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,049
35,910
628
In a porn tree
#14
If you were a different shade I'm sure they would have went Rodney King on you.
In Berkeley? Bleedin' heart smelly hippy commie pinko town?

Nope... if he were a nig nog the cop would've apologized to him for two hundred years of oppression, and then he would've given him forty acres and a mule.
 

Sprite

permanent case of the Moooondays
Apr 27, 2005
3,834
2
0
Jersey
#16
this story reeks of faggotry.
 

MrAbovePar

En Taro Anthony
Mar 14, 2005
13,775
3,168
678
Covington. La
#19
At least he didn't ticket you for not having a seat on the bike.

But since it's Berkley, it's probably encouraged to take them off.
 

pike

You will be molested
Aug 8, 2004
639
0
0
Cleveland, OH
#20
I heard him but I figured he's campus police. Rent-a-cop if you will.
In Ohio at least, Campus, Hospital, and Railroad/Transit police have the same authority/powers as regular police officers.

At least he didn't ticket you for not having a seat on the bike.
:clap::clap:This is why I love wackbag :icon_lol:
 

Beeman99

Registered User
Mar 14, 2005
13,787
2
0
#21
I went to jail for one night about 5 years ago.... I always told myself I'd never go back. It totally sucked.

But today I was biking to work, the same route I always fucking take... I pretty much haul ass through UC Berkeley every morning and my work is right on the other side of campus of where I live. If I hit a hippy... I hit a hippy.

Today, a fucking cop jumped in front of me telling me to get off my bike and walk. I weaved around him and said "I can't hear you." Hehe.... I heard him but I figured he's campus police. Rent-a-cop if you will. However, his partner on a Harley was right around the corner waiting for me. He pulled me over saying "I was running from the police." City police.... fair enough I thought. Once the other officer caught up, I was in handcuffs and just wanting to get to work. The cop was a total ass to me, showed ZERO respect... I was nothing but "Sir's and yessirs." I was running from the law blah blah blah because some douchebag thought I was biking through campus too fast. Fuck yourself.

Yes, I ignored your request of me getting off my bike and walking it.... I have better things to do. If I wanted to walk my bike, I'd just walk to work. Turns out... I knew all along.... the shop I work at fixes the police bicycles consistently, and it was nothing but smiles and respect from then on. Once I mentioned my employer my "jail sentence" turned into a "riding with headphones" (Yes, that's a fucking law I guess) and "Failure to walk my bike in a dismount area." Yes, that's also a fucking law. Fuck you. He knew I'd have too much pleasure with a speeding ticket on my bike... and he's right. I'll get that one within the year.... I'm rerouting my commute with a 25 mph zone and a steep ass hill to go down. I can hit that thing going 40 at least. HAHAHAHAHAH! Fuck that cop.


Cliff notes:
I got pulled over on a bike.
Cop was a douche bag.
I'll pay my $40 fine like a tool.
I was hoping this story ended with you in jail and waking up with a sore ass
 

ShavedLebaneseBear

Question: What kind of bear is best?
Oct 17, 2002
785
0
496
West Coast
#22
Yep. You better watch it when on campus. I have seen the UCPD actually pull people off of their bikes, especially in front of California Hall. They do not fuck around with that anymore. I think too many people got hit by speeding bike riders, and they are really inforcing the "law" now. Don't underestimate the campus police. They are real cops...with guns. Pretty lame of them to harrass and cuff you though. Berkeley is a dirty, crime ridden town. The cops should be taking care of the real crime, not fucking with bike riders.