i bought a fucking duck

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,298
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#1
so the thread title covers most of it. last week i got drunk on a sunday morning and went down to the local feed store and bought a duck, well actually two ducks and two chicks, the chicks are supposed to be hens that lay green/blue eggs, so, they aint dead yet, and its been a week, i have a funny feeling that this might last a longer than my drunk did.

im thinking that i have a few weeks to decide what kind of coop to build and how im going to go about it.
anyone else have some fowl? or just get drunk and buy a duck lately?

 
May 30, 2013
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#7
I picture you watching Fly Away Home in a drunken stupor before deciding that you wanted to be Jeff Daniels, only with ducks.
 
Jan 25, 2006
33,634
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Saint Louis
#8
Will you at least be putting it in a diaper? If not, it's pretty much a waste.


 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
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Idaho
#9
You should build a chicken tractor so you can move it around and let them eat fresh grass and fertilize the lawn and shit everywhere. A duck pen soon turns into a mud hole because their flat feet mash the wet dirt into mud, then compact the mud and duck shit into cement. When the ducks are older, you will see a hunk of snot hanging out of one and realize it is a duck dick. If it is quiet, you will see them in a group and hear a duck fart, then they all make a low pitched hissing giggle after every fart.

I don't currently own ducks but have in the past and when I tired of them, I ate them.

Here are some people who obviously love their chickens much more than I love mine. They live in a plywood shack and it's good enough for them.

http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/chicken-tractors-mobile-chicken-coop-designs
 

SOS

ONA
Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
48,035
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USA
#11
LOL at the concept of buying ducks and chickens when you were drunk.
 
Dec 12, 2007
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#12
You should build a chicken tractor so you can move it around and let them eat fresh grass and fertilize the lawn and shit everywhere. A duck pen soon turns into a mud hole because their flat feet mash the wet dirt into mud, then compact the mud and duck shit into cement. When the ducks are older, you will see a hunk of snot hanging out of one and realize it is a duck dick. If it is quiet, you will see them in a group and hear a duck fart, then they all make a low pitched hissing giggle after every fart.

I don't currently own ducks but have in the past and when I tired of them, I ate them.

Here are some people who obviously love their chickens much more than I love mine. They live in a plywood shack and it's good enough for them.

http://www.backyardchickens.com/a/chicken-tractors-mobile-chicken-coop-designs
Heed that first paragraph well Mr. FezMan. As a former duck owner I can assure you what hes saying is 100% true.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,258
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Northern California
#15
We had ducks running around the house when I was a kid... 12 or 15 of them if I remember correctly. Of course I grew up on a dairy, so even sober owning them made sense. Pretty sure 3/4ths of them were killed by coyotes or raccoons.

So my advice is don't let them roam free on a dairy in Northern California. And don't buy more when you get drunk... they get fucking annoying if you have a bunch of them.
 

Foggy

I'm wasting my life here
Donator
Dec 18, 2012
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Straya cunt
#17
I think you have bigger issues than the ducks, namely getting drunk in the morning. I don't know what that's all about, but who am I to judge?

Anyway, I've had some experience in owning ducks and chickens. Hens are ridiculously easy to take care of as long as you've got a pen to take care of them with; they're low maintenance and aren't fussy, and they tend to head back to their pens automatically at around 5:00 PM. Ducks on the other hand... well, you might as well be owning pigs at this point, because once you have four or more, they're extremely messy and won't tolerate unclean ponds and water trays for too long, and they dirty up those really fucking quick. Unless you're trying to domesticate these ducks like regular pets, their only two upsides are a) their quacking wards off snakes, and b) their eggs are great, but only for a few months of the year.
 

Frankie_b

Talk softly and drive a big tank!
Aug 31, 2009
12,696
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Scotland
#18
Have fun they are noisy, smelly, cunts.


I dont think you can put them in water right away..something to do with them not being water proof and they'll drown, but you can smack them with a golf club right away!
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,298
8,971
768
#20
I would have went with a goat.
goat was discussed, and shot down with out debate, the chicken thing has been discussed several times over the years, with both the former wife, and the future ex wife, i wasn't planning on the ducks they just seemed like a good idea at the time, then i found out the fuckers can live 10 years, i somewhat have my fingers crossed that one of the local foxes will deal with my silly decision. im defiantly going to have to figure out what to do, the girl friend is in love with them so i will have to make sure that the fox doesn't get a hold of them im going to start pricing chicken wire.
 

Off-White-Power

High maintenance, low tolerance
May 12, 2007
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Shenandoah Valley, VA
#21
I had a pet duck as a child. We lived in a city in nj and kept it in the bathtub. After a couple of days of not being able to use the tub my parents "relocated" it. Parents said they took it to a pond but I think it became dinner. Hmmmmm.
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
13,852
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Idaho
#22
im defiantly going to have to figure out what to do, the girl friend is in love with them so i will have to make sure that the fox doesn't get a hold of them im going to start pricing chicken wire.
A raccoon goes thru chicken wire like it is a spider web. You will need hardware cloth or hail screen or whatever they call it back there to stop coons. Also, cats can reach thru chicken wire and hook a young critter and drag it to the fence, then eat the head. Headless ducklings aren't as lovable as fully headed ones.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Aug 23, 2002
41,298
8,971
768
#23

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Jul 24, 2005
22,543
13,852
608
Idaho
#24
That should work.
 

weeniewawa

it's a man, baby!!!
May 21, 2005
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Hell,California
#25
A raccoon goes thru chicken wire like it is a spider web. You will need hardware cloth or hail screen or whatever they call it back there to stop coons.
they are called "police" but don't do their jobs well