i bought a fucking duck

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
ive got half a bail of peat moss im going to till into the soil. the soil here is more clay than "dirt" so im hoping that the peat moss will keep the soil from compacting and puddling the water so much
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
You look content. A happy man, freed from the burdensome yoke of a lunatic boss. Bet Mrs. FEZMAN esquire has noticed an improvement in your demeanor too.

Nice cock sir.
i look fat.

but, yes I'm fat and happy
and i love playing with my cock
 

doomvulture

Lord of Jailbait
My wife and kids want to get some chickens next spring. I am not all that enthused about the idea. I told them they can but we need 1 duck with them.
 

gleet

What's black and white and red all over?
Hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
My wife and kids want to get some chickens next spring. I am not all that enthused about the idea. I told them they can but we need 1 duck with them.
If I had it to do over I would have gotten different ducks the pekin they are messy noisy and not overly friendly I liken them to feral cats some like to be petted but most just want to be fed and left alone
 

SatansCheerledr

Ideologically Unsound
If I had it to do over I would have gotten different ducks the pekin they are messy noisy and not overly friendly I liken them to feral cats some like to be petted but most just want to be fed and left alone
Them ducks is for eating, not petting.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Them ducks is for eating, not petting.
Yep, and the Malard duck we "rescued" is an asshole too, that fucker runs like the wind when ever we get close to it, but, she does follow the other two around all the time, it is very cute, oh, and the coop expansion is now officially been requested by management, the ducks are going to get there own enclosure because they are constantly attacking the chickens poor Mr. Quackers just cant keep his filthy duck dong to himself and the constant chicken **** is just too much for Ms. Fezman to deal with. There is a fear of him drowning chickens. I caught him dragging one into his "pond" to fuck it the other day
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$


ahhhh the booty, so the ones on the left are Gertrude II duck eggs, she just started laying so they are all crazy sizes and the dumb ass just plops them down in the mud so i have to keep an eye on her and the eggs or they will stomp on them, the green ones are popeye and the dark brown ones are alfalfa's, i still have two fucking slackers, thing 1 and thing 2 still haven't started laying and the two buff chicks that i got from my buddy's daughter (my road to hell is paved with good intentions) are still way to young to lay. oh and poor Col, sanders is still not laying eggs, I'm kind of surprised she is still alive, candy the mallard is almost fledged I'm curious to see what happens with her, I'm hoping that she doesn't fly away but if she does i will be sad.



these are my "gift packs" i bought the containers on line i want to make a label for the cartons but I've been lazy lately
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Wonder if youtube allows duck **** videos?
actually yes, I've seen many, i have been stalking there "love pond" but I'm not patient enough, i can usually tell when love is in the air but i haven't been able to catch them in the act.
 
Duck sex I have seen is really hilarious. The female lays flat with her wings slightly out and her ass up in the pool then the male climbs on top for a few seconds of vigorous love making then he hops out of the pool and runs around with his little corkscrew pecker dragging in the grass behind him.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Duck sex I have seen is really hilarious. The female lays flat with her wings slightly out and her ass up in the pool then the male climbs on top for a few seconds of vigorous love making then he hops out of the pool and runs around with his little corkscrew pecker dragging in the grass behind him.
yep, and pervert quackers like to grab her by the neck and shove her head under the water, then when he's done she will let out one really loud quack, just to let everyone know she's just got the business
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$


video of Mr, and Mrs Quackers (aka gertrude II) and candy the mallard playing in the spa, the other two ducks don't really like the pool all that much but we have been taking candy in there since we brought her home, the only problem is that they will shit in the pool, meh, no big deal the pool gets plenty of bird shit in it. every once in a while i will catch the Quackers having sexy time in the spa... new meaning of egg drop soup..... wwwwwww
 

Foggy

I'm wasting my life here
Donator
Duck sex I have seen is really hilarious. The female lays flat with her wings slightly out and her ass up in the pool then the male climbs on top for a few seconds of vigorous love making then he hops out of the pool and runs around with his little corkscrew pecker dragging in the grass behind him.
Really? I can only describe the duck sex I've seen with one word: rape. Rape of the clumsiest order.
 
Really? I can only describe the duck sex I've seen with one word: rape. Rape of the clumsiest order.
There is definitely a clumsy **** appearance to it but it would never get done if the female didn't let it. You ever try to stand on a ducks back with a hard-on? You would fall right off if she didn't help out a little.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
There is definitely a clumsy **** appearance to it but it would never get done if the female didn't let it. You ever try to stand on a ducks back with a hard-on? You would fall right off if she didn't help out a little.
yea its not Rapey ****, its more like "not quite loving" love, she will bob her head up and down and quack quack quack, then jump in the pond, then mr quackers will hop in the pond grab her by the neck and rail the shit out of her, she will then let out a loud quack, he will jump out and run around the yard dragging his disgusting long duck dong in the grass chasing all the other birds around, while he is doing that she will splash around the pond cleaning his filth off of her. quite frankly its amusing to watch
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
had to dispatch another coon this afternoon, i noticed a spot near my foundation that was dug out, about two months ago i just set my "have a heart" trap out, no bait just stuck it next to the hole, came back from the shore today and noticed that it had moved, then noticed a lil coon in there, his paw was all fucked up so i shot him, poor coon, looked for a free meal in the wrong yard.
 
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