i bought a fucking duck

DiggerNick

Well-Known Member
Donator
A buddy of mine had a pretty big family of ducks living on his property, which was next to a railway line.

Some work had to be done on said line right near his house and he said that the crew was mostly Asian. And to his dismay he noticed that the ducks he was used to seeing on a daily basis became less and less.

I'm not suggesting that there is a correlation between the two, but...
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Well, Thing is no more :( I snapped her neck about an hour ago, I preformed a half ass autopsy on a chicken, she was egg bound and rotting from the inside out, I’m a poor farmer, I should have been checking her vent when the other chickens started laying again and she didn’t, I have a feeling that this has been going on for a while but over the cold snap none of them were laying, I think I’m going to grab Gertrude and check her because she hasn’t alter an egg in a month
 

HandPanzer

Shantih Shantih Shantih
Well, Thing is no more :( I snapped her neck about an hour ago, I preformed a half ass autopsy on a chicken, she was egg bound and rotting from the inside out, I’m a poor farmer, I should have been checking her vent when the other chickens started laying again and she didn’t, I have a feeling that this has been going on for a while but over the cold snap none of them were laying, I think I’m going to grab Gertrude and check her because she hasn’t alter an egg in a month
Murderer!
 

Bobobie

Registered User
French fries deep fried in duck fat is amazing. How much duck fat can you get from two ducks?
 

lajikal

Registered User
Hope you got her a nice outfit for the funeral. Wheelbarrow that bitch into a pond. RIP Ducky.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Instant pot to the rescue?
No fucking way, I accidentally popped a hole in her innards when performing the vivisection, that is a smell I’ve been tasting since 10am this morning.

She was every bit of 3 years old, her “litter mate” thing 1 dropped dead within a year of unknown causes, it’s just a bummer she was a pretty chicken and laid green eggs darker than Popeye who is one of my original chickens, I squeezed Gertrude today and she seems soft, unlike thing who’s belly was hard and distended (from the backed up eggs.
Oh well, I knew that the flock was going to thin this winter by at least 1
 

JoeyDVDZ

Well-Known Member
Donator
So... these chickens, they for eating, or for petting? Why do they all have names?

When I lived in North Carolina as a kid, we had a coop, and the chickens had names. Food, food and more food.

Also, they were disgusting creatures who shat upon everything in sight, ate their own eggs, just overall vile creatures who tasted good.
 

Haeder

South Dakota
Well, Thing is no more :( I snapped her neck about an hour ago, I preformed a half ass autopsy on a chicken, she was egg bound and rotting from the inside out, I’m a poor farmer, I should have been checking her vent when the other chickens started laying again and she didn’t, I have a feeling that this has been going on for a while but over the cold snap none of them were laying, I think I’m going to grab Gertrude and check her because she hasn’t alter an egg in a month
Snapping the neck of a fowl is a fairly quick way to put them down but I prefer grasping them firmly between the wings and crushing their lungs. That way, when they kick and flap, they don't scratch your skin or pummel you with their wings. A good duck deserves nothing less than a beautiful and swift death.
 

Mags

A.K.A. Chad
Donator
So... these chickens, they for eating, or for petting? Why do they all have names?

When I lived in North Carolina as a kid, we had a coop, and the chickens had names. Food, food and more food.

Also, they were disgusting creatures who shat upon everything in sight, ate their own eggs, just overall vile creatures who tasted good.
All delicious land animals are disgusting, filthy creatures.
 

Queen_Bona

Registered User
Sad? The man eats his pets.
I was fed my pet unknowingly once. Found out after I've eaten dinner, when I went outside to play and didn't find my pet chicken anywhere, that she was dinner.
That was a very "pate by Titus Andronicus" moment.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
So... these chickens, they for eating, or for petting? Why do they all have names?

When I lived in North Carolina as a kid, we had a coop, and the chickens had names. Food, food and more food.

Also, they were disgusting creatures who shat upon everything in sight, ate their own eggs, just overall vile creatures who tasted good.
Yes, both eating and petting, I’ve eaten two roosters, George and Chubby Cupcakes. Since the death of Thing, only two chickens have names, Popeye, and Chubby, and my two ducks, Mr. Quackers and Mrs Quackers (aka Gertrude The 2nd, Gertrude 1 got killed by a hawk and Mr Quackers was devastated so I got him a new fuck toy) colonial sanders, Thing 1, Henry (a rooster) and a second unnamed rooster died and I didn’t feel safe eating them. And we just gave 3 hens away, but, I contemplated eating them. I also had a wild mallard that I raised from a chick, but she flew away her name was candy.
I now have 8 chickens and two ducks, at one time I had 14 chickens and 3 ducks, which was way too many for their enclosure. They are dirty disgusting creatures but I enjoy them, if I had to do it all over again I don’t think I would have had so many at one time or, I would have bought “bantams” I like the ducks more than the chickens my wife is the opposite, the ducks are dirty and noisy and are constantly having sex in my pool.
I will not be buying new ones for a while and if I do it will be after all the chickens die so I can start again fresh, and I will only get 5, it’s the amount that is easier to keep after because like you said they shit all over everything.
 

JoeyDVDZ

Well-Known Member
Donator
That was a very "pate by Titus Andronicus" moment.

Are you trying to destroy these primitive minds? Do you think anyone here has the horsepower to get that reference? :haha7:
 

Queen_Bona

Registered User
Are you trying to destroy these primitive minds? Do you think anyone here has the horsepower to get that reference? :haha7:

That movie is the sickest shit. I love it. I usually hate modern Shakespeare adaptations, but Titus is an exception.

I will not be buying new ones for a while and if I do it will be after all the chickens die so I can start again fresh, and I will only get 5, it’s the amount that is easier to keep after because like you said they shit all over everything.
Birds are disgusting. My grandma was away from home and pigeons built a nest on her balcony. Cleaning that took days it was several plastic bags full of shit, twigs, egg shells and chick skeletons, and after my dad had cleaned it all up, he couldn't eat poultry for a year or so. Even today he'd rather eat something else if there's a choice. That nest was about the filthiest thing I've seen. And I've seen a squat.
 

Mags

A.K.A. Chad
Donator
Yes, both eating and petting, I’ve eaten two roosters, George and Chubby Cupcakes. Since the death of Thing, only two chickens have names, Popeye, and Chubby, and my two ducks, Mr. Quackers and Mrs Quackers (aka Gertrude The 2nd, Gertrude 1 got killed by a hawk and Mr Quackers was devastated so I got him a new fuck toy) colonial sanders, Thing 1, Henry (a rooster) and a second unnamed rooster died and I didn’t feel safe eating them. And we just gave 3 hens away, but, I contemplated eating them. I also had a wild mallard that I raised from a chick, but she flew away her name was candy.
I now have 8 chickens and two ducks, at one time I had 14 chickens and 3 ducks, which was way too many for their enclosure. They are dirty disgusting creatures but I enjoy them, if I had to do it all over again I don’t think I would have had so many at one time or, I would have bought “bantams” I like the ducks more than the chickens my wife is the opposite, the ducks are dirty and noisy and are constantly having sex in my pool.
I will not be buying new ones for a while and if I do it will be after all the chickens die so I can start again fresh, and I will only get 5, it’s the amount that is easier to keep after because like you said they shit all over everything.
You’re gender non binary names are touching.
 
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