i bought a fucking duck

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Well, the chickens are dropping like flies, lost one last week to reasons unknown and one drowned in the pool today oops
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Dogs get to them? Tink grabbed one and she let it go and it seemed fine... 8 hours later it snuffed it.
It’s a possibility, we think that the one that drowned was running from Ralph or, Quackers the grapey duck may have drug her into the pool.
@Haeder we are down so many now that I can’t really spare any
 

Haeder

South Dakota
It’s a possibility, we think that the one that drowned was running from Ralph or, Quackers the grapey duck may have drug her into the pool.
@Haeder we are down so many now that I can’t really spare any
How about just a wing or a leg?
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
No the actual chickens, I haven’t noticed the eggs tasting funny. I’ve only eaten 3 of my birds two were quite young roosters and the third was an old rooster, I stewed them all the two “young” ones were ok, but the last one tasted like shit, so bad I ended up feeding him back to his flock
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Hey! My ducks are still alive,,, for the time being, I actually was going to look for this thread and post the latest drama.

Some how Quackers poked a hole in his toe, I saw a lot of blood this morning in their pen, at first I thought it was a rat bite or some kind of attack through the coop wire, I checked him for holes and noticed what I thought was a broken toenail like when you cut the quick on a dog, I didn’t notice it actively bleeding so I let them out and didn’t think too much about it, my wife comes home and asks me about the duck, so I went out and checked on him... he had blood everywhere now, blood is amazing at how a little can seem like a lot.
I looked at his foot again and he had what looked like tiny pin hole in his toe, pumping blood like a tiny pin leak in a hose, it was kind of fascinating, I applied pressure for like 10mins, I took my finger off and it started squirting blood even more like an artery was poked, but a tiny tiny hole spraying now like a hole in a soda can... I mixed up cornstarch and turmeric to try and get it to clot, no dice, still squirting and now we are both blood/turmeric shit stained (turmeric stains even worse than blood and the fucker as an act of “fuck you fez” his ass exploded all over me), I decided to cauterize the wound, to stop the bleeding, this was my first suggestion but Mrs. Fezman put the kybosh on that idea... after 20 minutes of fucking with it she finally capitulated and agreed to go all medieval on it. I scrounged up a stainless steel nail and get out the blowtorch, I scrubbed his foot with an old toof brush and my patented mix of dawn, rubbing alcohol, and water that I keep in the garage for wound care and cleaning bird shit off of cars with I also grabbed some superglue just because.
I had Mrs Fezman hold him down while I scrubbed his foot the best I could, problem was the squirting, he was so pissed off and wound up that his heart was beating a million miles a second the second I took the paper towel off I couldn’t see the actual hole... fuck it, I just got the red hot nail as close to the area as I could.. poor guy, it smelled like bbq duck... the bleeding stopped, I put a nice blob of crazy glue on the wound area and packed it with the cornstarch / turmeric mix...
I’m actually slightly concerned, he was bleeding pretty good
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
And Gertrude died :( for no apparent reason, I got dirt in my eye
 

Bobobie

Registered User
Do you live next to an insecticide plant? Do you leave bucks of radiator fluid laying around? Canary in the Coal mine.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
So, who wants to take bets on me getting an epic case of salmonella? I finally got disgusted with my “duck pond” and decided that it was time to clean it out, I’ve been neglecting it all summer because I was attempting a “science experiment” I read an article on “natural pools” yea, I guess you need 20,000 gallons of water to start a proper self cleaning ecosystem, because 150 gallons just turned into a disgusting tepid swamp of smelly slime. we’re having people over Sunday and I really felt the need to clean it, I also bought a fountain head that looks like a bronze duck and wanted to install it with a new pump.
So, I used my submersible pump to start to drain the water out, the disgusting green stinky water, which I used to water the garden with, meh it’s basically liquid shit.... and to the liquid shit, I was able to pump out about 80% but the pump isn’t a “trash pump” it’s just a pool cover pump, so once the “water” got too thick to pump I had to get out a colander and start scooping out the goodness from the bottom 12” of the pond... ohhhh yea was it smelly, and chunky and basically the consistency of a nice thick sticky beef stew, which I was putting into a wheel barrow so I could go dump it in my compost pile, I really should have had BoB video some of it because when there was about 6” of goop left Tiki decided she wanted to go for a swim...
oh and there was still two gold fish in the pond, I thought there was three but I couldn’t find the third, oddly they are still small I was expecting them to be bigger but they are only about 4” I’ve had them grow up to 6”
 

Haeder

South Dakota
So, who wants to take bets on me getting an epic case of salmonella? I finally got disgusted with my “duck pond” and decided that it was time to clean it out, I’ve been neglecting it all summer because I was attempting a “science experiment” I read an article on “natural pools” yea, I guess you need 20,000 gallons of water to start a proper self cleaning ecosystem, because 150 gallons just turned into a disgusting tepid swamp of smelly slime. we’re having people over Sunday and I really felt the need to clean it, I also bought a fountain head that looks like a bronze duck and wanted to install it with a new pump.
So, I used my submersible pump to start to drain the water out, the disgusting green stinky water, which I used to water the garden with, meh it’s basically liquid shit.... and to the liquid shit, I was able to pump out about 80% but the pump isn’t a “trash pump” it’s just a pool cover pump, so once the “water” got too thick to pump I had to get out a colander and start scooping out the goodness from the bottom 12” of the pond... ohhhh yea was it smelly, and chunky and basically the consistency of a nice thick sticky beef stew, which I was putting into a wheel barrow so I could go dump it in my compost pile, I really should have had BoB video some of it because when there was about 6” of goop left Tiki decided she wanted to go for a swim...
oh and there was still two gold fish in the pond, I thought there was three but I couldn’t find the third, oddly they are still small I was expecting them to be bigger but they are only about 4” I’ve had them grow up to 6”
Ugh. Sludge.

This is one of the reasons I will never have a pond on my property.
 

THE FEZ MAN

as a matter of fact i dont have 5$
Ugh. Sludge.

This is one of the reasons I will never have a pond on my property.
I swore I was never going to do it but the ducks enjoy it when the pool is closed, last season I was running a simple pond filter but the ducks shitted it up so bad that I had to clean it every few days, it was a small pump so I went out and bought a bigger pump I hope it helps but honestly the “pond” is too small
 
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