i love the randomness of the world

JonBenetRamsey

well shit the bed
Aug 30, 2005
17,419
8,784
628
woodland critter christmas park nj
#1
so i'm at my mom's just watching an arrested development marathon. i see this girl i haven't talked to in a while who i found on okcupid on aim. so i start talking to her. she's saying how her boyfriend has been away on business for a month and she's all horny. now, she lives about an hour and a half or so away from me but it turns out she's at her parent's. after asking where that is, she's in the same fucking town as me. so we met up behind this school at 4something am and she blew me in a parking lot across the street behind a box truck. classy gal. and pretty fucking sexy as well.

so what awesome, totally random shit has happened to you guys?
 
Aug 11, 2005
27,637
4
51
#2
I won the lottery last Wednesday .

85 mill. Yeah lifes okay
 

Chino Kapone

Yo, whats wrong wit da beer we got?
Jun 10, 2005
16,959
2,196
608
#7
Pics or it didn't happen.

 

Creasy Bear

gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh
Donator
Mar 10, 2006
48,435
36,486
628
In a porn tree
#8
Why didn't you bang the shit out of her? "whaa"
Because then he would've seen shim's cock and the cat would've been out of the bag.

Q: What kind of chick sucks dick to cure her "all horniness"?

A: The kind with a dick.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
141,477
49,802
644
#9
How come I can imagine myself turning into Mike Yanagita in that scenario. That or give some incarnation of the Bad Lieutenant "I've done so many bad things" speech.
 

Norm Stansfield

私は亀が好きだ。
Mar 17, 2009
15,949
4,075
328
#11
How come I can imagine myself turning into Mike Yanagita in that scenario.
That might be the most horridly embarrassing character in movie history. Whenever I watch Fargo, I just have to skip that part. I can't watch it. Argh, just seeing the name makes my skin feel like I touched a fucking snail.
 

JonBenetRamsey

well shit the bed
Aug 30, 2005
17,419
8,784
628
woodland critter christmas park nj
#12
unfortunately, she closed her fetlife account or else i would have posted all sorts of fun pics she had. and i would have fucked her had i not jacked it twice prior to this lil meet up. i didn't think my balls had a 4th load ready to go and who wants to walk home with blue balls and a rod?
 

JonBenetRamsey

well shit the bed
Aug 30, 2005
17,419
8,784
628
woodland critter christmas park nj
#14
How many fingers did you jam in and out of her wet poohah?
2. but i went more for the single fingered clitoral stimulation. it apparently worked when she fell into the side of the truck and said she couldn't take any more since she came twice. i love 20 year old pussy.
 

d0uche_n0zzle

**Negative_Creep**
Sep 15, 2004
46,674
6,860
693
F.U.B.A.R
#15
I prefer the three finger method with the thumb doing the clit stimulating.
 

Voodoo Ben

You gotta wash your ass
Dec 5, 2010
8,249
6,586
293
#16
i once jerked off and then i when i was done i found out Micheal Jackson was Dead.
 

lajikal

Registered User
Aug 6, 2009
15,742
3,826
328
#17
Did she tell you which STD she has in her vag..