If you won the lottery jackpot how would you quit your job?

Buster H

Alt-F4
Wackbag Staff
Dec 6, 2004
12,244
2,725
678
Lower Bucks Co, PA
#1
With the two big lottery jackpots this week, it inevitably turns to what would you do with the money. This isn't about that. This is a very specific question. How would you quit your job.


I'd love to walk into a meeting and just whip out my junk, but that could lead to lawsuits. It would also be great to just destry some shit at work, but that could lead to legal difficulties.

Here is the best thing I could come up with. I work in a facility where they are terribly anal about safety. I have been stopped/talked to for doing the following things:
1. Walking down the stairs without having my hand on the hand rail.
2. Walking while reading my pager/cell phone/pda.
3. Standing on my tool box to reach into one of your systems.
4. Sitting on a wooden crate while on the computer. Yeah.. you read that right. A guy walked past my cube an asked me if I needed a chair. I told him no, he walked away and came back 10 sec later and told me that I could not sit on that while on the computer because it wasn't "ergonomically correct" and told me I was risking an injury
5. Someone walked by my cube and saw me using the touch pad on my laptop instead of a mouse....... same thing. I was warned for not using good ergonomic practices.


With all of that said, I think I would ride my bike to work and then bring it into the building. They allow us to do that. Once I got into the building, I'd hop on and take off!!!! As ridiculous as that sounds, the safety people would fucking lose it. My badge would be pulled and I would never be allowed back on site.
 

fkornre

Boogity Boogity Boogity...Let's go racing boys...
Nov 4, 2006
1,744
0
0
monroe twp, nj
#2
at our Board of Trustee's meeting I would turn to Woody and tell him his Jets suck ass and the Patriots rule...
 

notmikeh

don't get any cucks on your wee
Jun 8, 2006
3,916
4
313
.
#3
I have always said I would dress up like the guy from Monopoly. then I would go to work with sacs of money with the $ mark on the side of the bags and throw them in the air and let it rain money on their pathetic heads. while I leave and click my heels. but I wouldn't use real money the bags would be filt with washers and shit.
 

notmikeh

don't get any cucks on your wee
Jun 8, 2006
3,916
4
313
.
#4
at our Board of Trustee's meeting I would turn to Woody and tell him his Jets suck ass and the Patriots rule...
I think it should be said anyway. its not like its a secret:icon_mrgr
 

Sinn Fein

Infidel and White Interloper
Wackbag Staff
Aug 29, 2002
31,563
2,213
898
Florida's Nature Coast
#6
I'll probably keep my job. Unless, I buy a fine estate somewhere that prevents that.
 

Simby19

I want to have L'il Jimmy's babies
Aug 10, 2006
8,458
1
0
Paramus, NJ
#7
You gotta do the George Costanza and just tell everyone off
 

Buster H

Alt-F4
Wackbag Staff
Dec 6, 2004
12,244
2,725
678
Lower Bucks Co, PA
#8
I'll probably keep my job. Unless, I buy a fine estate somewhere that prevents that.
There is no way in hell I would keep mine. I'd still have a job though. Prolly working in a bike shop or something like that
 

NightStalker3

a complete moron that posts
Oct 4, 2004
5,166
0
36
#9
Shit I would immediately go into hiding for awhile, taking the rest of my work vacaton. Then I would get my shit together.

Quiting day. I would probably hire one of my buddies for my personal body guard, get driven to my job in the craziest stretch limo and have hired midgets roll out the red carpet and sweep in front of me with lil brooms. Then I would buy the office pizza for lunch and say goodbye.
 
Jun 2, 2005
15,516
4
0
Dallas
#11
I'd just act like Matthew McConaughey (holy shit I've never tried to spell that, that's a hard damn name) in Two For the Money when he had the perfect week, or the dude from Office Space until they fired me. Show up on Monday with golf clubs (if I golfed) and tell them I'd be on the course with clients all week, etc. Just ride out the little 50k a year salary until they cut me off.
 

martianvirus

READY THE ANALPROBES!!!!!!!!
Nov 20, 2005
19,062
134
268
Las Vegas, NV
#12
Since I mostly do freelance work for other people/companies, the only thing I would need to do is buy a ticket to some tropical island.
 

kloraferm

Humor is reason gone mad
Sep 6, 2002
31,366
41
783
Staten Island, NY
#13
I know it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd donate every cent to my neice & nephew (primaily their education). I know how to make enough cash to be okay for myself....thank you very much.
 

FredThe4thMic

Censorship goes Cumsies
Feb 11, 2007
311
0
0
#14
Come dressed in a dollar bill, and only a dollar bill.
Mmmm.
 

kloraferm

Humor is reason gone mad
Sep 6, 2002
31,366
41
783
Staten Island, NY
#15
Come dressed in a dollar bill, and only a dollar bill.
Mmmm.
I like the idea, but what about using a $2 bill, and when everyone asked what the fuck you were wearing, you could easily respond with "what the fuck are you looking at?!"
 

FredThe4thMic

Censorship goes Cumsies
Feb 11, 2007
311
0
0
#16
I'd raise my 2 dollar bill to a 4.
Harufharuf.
 

EvilMonkey71

Blurka Blurka Blurka
Sep 6, 2006
779
0
0
Flemington,NJ
#17
I've always thought I would lob my resignation letter wrapped around a brick through the front door. This would be while hanging out the sunroof of a limo with a bottle of champagne in one hand, yelling "So long Fuckers!!!" :icon_mrgr
 

Fuck Crosby

Bills. Beers. Broads.
Feb 8, 2006
1,674
7
473
Rochester
#18
I would drive a lift across all of the prepped runs of furniture. Then get off the lift and walk out and wave goodbye
 

sniper2323

The true north Idaho P.O.W.
Aug 3, 2006
809
52
388
Far North Idaho is Home
#19
I would hire bunch of ex-military guys and a helicopter pilot. I would goto work as normal. They would fly in land jump out in full combat gear, run into the shop, salute and say the presidents and the joint chiefs of staffs need me ASAP. I would then turn to my boss and say, well you think I'm a dumb shit, but someone else doesn't. Then tell him I will be taking a long lunch. Run to the chopper and take off.

(FYI, he is a college hippy who is so anti-military, he would most likely would have a heart attack, and the guys would look at each other and say It isn't my job to save him. He has yelled at us alot of times because we are doing our job and helping someone else.)
 
Sep 10, 2005
5,668
77
283
Staten Island, NY
#20
I liked yours alot sniper lol........


I think i'd just never call or go in every again.....fuck them, i don't need a job with all that money...The real question is who would you support and help out?

I'd def give money to my parents, sister, some good friends and save the rest..
 

NikkorTheMonk

Registered User
Apr 26, 2005
1,524
54
473
#22
I love my job. I would buy the place. And have to instantly downsize middle management. I.E...The people I dont like. "Oh, im so sorry there just isn't room for your position in the budget anymore, but I would be happy to write you a reference." "Now go clean out your desk!" Bring in all my friends and just get busy.
 

Glenn Dandy

THE ONLY WHITE PRESIDENT LEFT.
Mar 21, 2005
19,758
35
298
Wackbag Whitehouse.
#23
I would hire bunch of ex-military guys and a helicopter pilot. I would goto work as normal. They would fly in land jump out in full combat gear, run into the shop, salute and say the presidents and the joint chiefs of staffs need me ASAP. I would then turn to my boss and say, well you think I'm a dumb shit, but someone else doesn't. Then tell him I will be taking a long lunch. Run to the chopper and take off.

(FYI, he is a college hippy who is so anti-military, he would most likely would have a heart attack, and the guys would look at each other and say It isn't my job to save him. He has yelled at us alot of times because we are doing our job and helping someone else.)

nice:clap::clap:
 

Budyzir

There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum.
Nov 12, 2004
7,307
1
0
Queens, NY
#24
..... I work in a facility where they are terribly anal about safety. I have been stopped/talked to for doing the following things:
1. Walking down the stairs without having my hand on the hand rail.
2. Walking while reading my pager/cell phone/pda.
3. Standing on my tool box to reach into one of your systems.
4. Sitting on a wooden crate while on the computer. Yeah.. you read that right. A guy walked past my cube an asked me if I needed a chair. I told him no, he walked away and came back 10 sec later and told me that I could not sit on that while on the computer because it wasn't "ergonomically correct" and told me I was risking an injury
5. Someone walked by my cube and saw me using the touch pad on my laptop instead of a mouse....... same thing. I was warned for not using good ergonomic practices.
Wow dude, if I was in your office I'd go insane with all those anal asses.

Myself, yes, I'd punch out but since my boss and the guys I work with are cool, I would stick around long enough for a replacement to be trained up. I wouldn't want to stick them with more work, we're all pretty well crushed as it is.
 

LiddyRules

I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy
Jun 1, 2005
142,467
50,262
644
#25
Go to human resources and give my two weeks notice. But take that final Friday off. That'll show them.