Is Tom Alive??? Fridays

SOS

ONA
Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
48,197
8,897
1,038
USA
#1
Tom has a terminal condition with his lungs and does not have long to live.

Please guess the Friday that Tom will no longer be alive.

Please write an Eulogy for Tom as well.
 

wigsnatcher

usually confused
May 11, 2007
267
0
0
Nashville
#2
has he been on previous shows? today is the first i heard of him
 

The Godfather

Spark it up for The Godfather and say!!!!!
May 9, 2007
11,256
10
163
#3
Tom is a faggot

:):icon_mrgr;)
 

SOS

ONA
Wackbag Staff
Aug 14, 2000
48,197
8,897
1,038
USA
#4
He was on two weeks ago.
 

Hoagie

I suggest you tread lightly
Wackbag Staff
Mar 24, 2004
13,643
312
628
Your Mom's box
#5
He called in once before, last Friday. They tried to get him to do a rock scream but he couldn't make it happen with his parrot lungs.

I think he's gonna last a while yet. I give him a couple years. He's gonna be the new Buddy Ebson.

But when he does die, I hope they at least recognize his sense of humor. Something like:

We gather here today to say our final goodbye to Tom (insert last name here). Tom was a man with a sparkling sense of humor....as evidenced by his drivers license...and the fact he checked the organ donor box.
 

wigsnatcher

usually confused
May 11, 2007
267
0
0
Nashville
#6
oh, thanx. yeah he seems like a cool guy. i give him a few more years, cuz don't doctors usually tell people that they barly have any time left so they seem like heros when they last decades.
 

Natesac

Wackbag's Official Sac
May 22, 2006
5,249
0
176
Westbury, NY
#7
[EULOGY]
What can I say about Tom?

The last thing he heard was 'Tommy? Tommy can you hear me?'
He looked at his clock and realized that he had overslept and it was already noon... and so he took that 9MM a gave the trigger a tussle.

HE'S DEAD!

[/EULOGY]
 

cigarsandscotch

Smoke and drink up.
Jan 13, 2005
4,795
3
523
Middletown NJ
#8
December 21st, the Friday before Christmas.

[Eulogy] T.G.I.F. ......Unless you are Tom. This was his last. The lung and winding road is over.

Sitting on a park bench --
Eyeing ittle girls with bad intent. Hey Aqua lungs!
Snot running down his nose --
Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes. Hey Aqua lungs!
Drying in the cold sun --
Watching as the frilly panties run. Hey Aqua lungs!
Feeling like a dead duck --
Spitting out pieces of his broken luck. Hey Aqua lungs!
Sun streaking cold --


An old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
The only way he knows.
Leg hurting bad,
As he bends to pick a dog-end --
He goes down to the bog
And warms his feet.

Feeling alone --
The armys up the rode
Salvation la mode and
A cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend --
Dont start away uneasy
You poor old sod, you see, its only me.
Do you still remember
Decembers foggy freeze --
When the ice that
Clings on to your beard is
Screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
With deep-sea-diver sounds,
And the flowers bloom like
Madness in the spring.


Hey Aqua lungs you're dead!
 

Shaggz

Slaying Zombies
Jan 26, 2005
3,151
0
311
Kentucky
#10
I've got a tumor in my head, had surgery once in march but I can't possibly afford another one.
I may not die real soon, but soon enough for me.
Anyone wanna take a bet on that?
 

MelissaY1

Resident Star Fucker
Nov 28, 2005
1,985
11
478
NY
#11
My friend/coworker has the same disease as Tom and matter of fact when he first called the show I was trying to get through on air to tell them that because Jimmy knows my friend. They worked on Sidesplitters together. So I thought it would be interesting conversation. Unfortunately kept getting a busy signal on the phone and I had to get to work.

Sarcoids is a fucking terrible disease. It really does debilitate everything. It's been around for years but the only reason it's making the news these days is because that's what they're finding a lot of the 9/11 survivors/workers are suffering from. I don't know how exactly my friend obtained it but he's had it the past few years, and he even took a recent trip to the dentist because one of his crowns fell out and the dentist said it was because his gums were shifting due to the sarcoids.
 

Mags

LDAR, bitch.
Donator
Oct 22, 2004
35,498
12,223
693
Ill Repute
#12
My friend/coworker has the same disease as Tom and matter of fact when he first called the show I was trying to get through on air to tell them that because Jimmy knows my friend. They worked on Sidesplitters together. So I thought it would be interesting conversation. Unfortunately kept getting a busy signal on the phone and I had to get to work.

Sarcoids is a fucking terrible disease. It really does debilitate everything. It's been around for years but the only reason it's making the news these days is because that's what they're finding a lot of the 9/11 survivors/workers are suffering from. I don't know how exactly my friend obtained it but he's had it the past few years, and he even took a recent trip to the dentist because one of his crowns fell out and the dentist said it was because his gums were shifting due to the sarcoids.

Umm, thanks, Ms. Bringdown. :action-sm

Now back to the funny....

"Tom, what can we say?

I hardly knew ol' "Gerbil Lungs" yet I feel I've known him waaaay too long. **nudge nudge**

You're gone but not forgotten....at least untill the next unfortunate freak, willing to subjugate himself to ONA's abuses, comes along."


I give him 'till Halloween.

Just sayin'...
 

Jimmy's Junk

A hairy palmed pest
Apr 26, 2005
903
0
0
Lowell, In
#14
Dec 7, 2007...a day that will live in infamy. After suffering through Sarcoids disease, Thimble Lungs Tom took his own life today. He was a frequent guest and dedicated fan of the Opie and Anthony Show. Tom spent the last few weeks of his life testing barrel sizes and doing research on Bud Dwyer. Tom will be dearly missed by all his friends at Eatabullet.com. In a recorded message played on Opie and Anthony this more morning, Tom thanked all the fans for their support. Oddly, the last word Tom uttered before pulling the trigger was, "meow."