Jay Mohr on Romo/Simpson/TO Love Triangle from Foxsports

MJMANDALAY

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#1
The Alternative: The truth hurts
by Jay Mohr

There is a love triangle in Dallas. It's a big one, too. Tony Romo is in love with Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson is in love with attention, and Terrell Owens is in love with Terrell Owens.

Romo, the star quarterback with the matinee idol looks, had his girlfriend come watch him work last Sunday. When the TV cameras caught up with the maybe, hopefully but doubtfully future Mrs. Romo, Jessica acted like she didn't know she was on television. She was surrounded by monitors, so maybe she thought the entire skybox was mirrored.

Thank God arenas and stadiums are some of the only places where it is OK to bring your girlfriend to work. Can you imagine if that doofus in the cubicle next to you brought his mouth-breathing Applebee's waitress girlfriend to work with him? I wouldn't want any of my friends' girlfriends watching me work ... then I would have to put on pants.

Seems I am not the only one that took offense toward "Bring your girlfriend to work day." Terrell Owens made it clear that he is "not a fan" of Jessica Simpson.

Sure, T.O. now says he was "just kidding." But I don't think he was referring to her music. If he were, that would have been awesome. Not only did he have a chance to slam Romo's little lip-syncher, but he would have had to have admitted to actually listening to her songs.

That is a visual I find fascinating. Terrell Owens bumping through Big D in his ride singing along to the latest Jessica Simpson hit. Has she ever had a hit? Seriously. If this girl didn't think that Buffalo wings were the actual wings cut from buffaloes, would Tony Romo be dating her? It seems strange that a girl dates the star quarterback and he is the one with the brains.

Their conversations must be epic.

Her: "I like bangs."
Him: "That's Jessica Simpson!"
Her: "I like bangs."
Him: "That's Jessica Simpson!"

I kinda feel for Terrell Owens in this saga. While Tony Romo was in the huddle telling his guards to check out the hottie in the skybox, he was also putting up knuckleballs and getting his brains beat in. One thing he definitely was NOT doing was hitting T.O. in the chest with footballs. And history has taught us, that is a big no-no.

Finally we all got that sideline shot of Terrell complaining that eluded us all year.

The only thing for Terrell Owens to do is to bring someone to the next home game that will upstage Jessica Simpson. Maybe he should start dating Lil' Kim. That would be good television. Two scantily clad chicks in a skybox who are lucky they don't drown when it's raining.

All in all, it was a disastrous day for the Cowboys. Not New York Jets bad, but bad nonetheless. Tony Romo played terribly, Terrell Owens started complaining, Roy Williams got suspended for a game, they lost AND their coach looks too much like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. I hope the Cowboys can right their ship soon. I would hate to see them flame out in the first round of the playoffs. I would hate to see Tony Romo have to go back to dating Carrie Underwood.

But most of all, I just hate to see T.O. unhappy.

Best of lucky,
Jay Mohr






http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7588930


http://www.jaymohr.com/
 

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#2
"The only thing for Terrell Owens to do is to bring someone to the next home game that will upstage Jessica Simpson. Maybe he should start dating Lil' Kim. That would be good television. Two scantily clad chicks in a skybox who are lucky they don't drown when it's raining."

Holy shit that made me laugh.
 
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