Ketchup

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#1
Who likes a good ketchup?

Yes, this is my third thread regarding Ketchup. Figured I'd make it official.

I don't like ketchup......I LLL---yeah whatever.

Anyway, I just got this "Simply Heinz" from Walgreens after realizing I was out. Figured I'd just pick up any old ketchup and it'd be fine. It wasn't. This stuff was garbage. Way too sweet. Tasted like cold tomato soup. Hunt's > Heinz.

The best ketchup I've had is by Dickenson's, though. Best shit ever. They have it at most good hotels but if you can find it in the store it is incredible stuff.
 

whiskeyguy

PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.
Donator
Jan 12, 2010
36,495
22,147
398
Northern California
#3
I couldn't possibly begin to try telling the difference between brands of ketchup.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,523
19,737
513
jersey
#4
You should have your hands removed with a sawzall for even saying that Hunt's is better than Heinz.
 

Falldog

Wackbag's Best Conservative
Donator
May 16, 2007
19,279
6,866
568
Nothern VA
#5
I think I've said this before here, but a good cheeseburger should not need ketchup.
 

Konstantin K

Big League Poster
Aug 25, 2010
15,776
3,875
273
#6
Heinz is the only ketchup I'll eat. Never had the "Simply" kind before, don't know what the difference is. Like fletcher said, Hunt's is garbage.
 
Mar 28, 2007
17,591
1,950
458
Planet Houston
#7
you know whats bugs the shit out of me.....why some people call it catsup and others ketchup...I don't fucking get it
and Heinz is the only brand I use.
Falldog is right....a good cheeseburger does not need ketchup at all
 

Konstantin K

Big League Poster
Aug 25, 2010
15,776
3,875
273
#8


I don't think anyone really says 'catsup'.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#9
Heinz is the only ketchup I'll eat. Never had the "Simply" kind before, don't know what the difference is. Like fletcher said, Hunt's is garbage.
The "Simply" is their organic horseshit. It tastes exactly as I described. Cold tomato soup. You cannot taste any of the extra spices and shit they are supposed to put in there. All you taste is the tomato. It's too overwhelming for me.
 

Hudson

Supreme Champion!!!!!
Donator
Jan 14, 2002
32,840
4,566
898
Land of misfit toys
#10
Who likes a good ketchup?

Yes, this is my third thread regarding Ketchup. Figured I'd make it official.

I don't like ketchup......I LLL---yeah whatever. Anyway, I just got this "Simply Heinz" from Walgreens after realizing I was out. Figured I'd just pick up any old ketchup and it'd be fine. It wasn't. This stuff was garbage. Way too sweet. Tasted like cold tomato soup. Hunt's > Heinz.

The best ketchup I've had is by Dickenson's, though. Best shit ever. They have it at most good hotels but if you can find it in the store it is incredible stuff.
You do know Heinz has 57 varieties..

I have yet to see all 57..I think I have only tried 5...and one is really sweet.
Another is spicy..the kind I love...but I cannot find it anymore. I think the British variant is the sweet one.
 

fletcher

Darkness always says hello.
Donator
Feb 20, 2006
59,523
19,737
513
jersey
#11
You do know Heinz has 57 varieties..

I have yet to see all 57..I think I have only tried 5...and one is really sweet.
Another is spicy..the kind I love...but I cannot find it anymore. I think the British variant is the sweet one.
Im pretty sure the 57 varieties refers to all the condiments Heinz makes. I could be wrong though.
 

ShooterMcGavin

Go back to your shanties.
May 25, 2005
18,029
1,380
643
#12
You do know Heinz has 57 varieties..

I have yet to see all 57..I think I have only tried 5...and one is really sweet.
Another is spicy..the kind I love...but I cannot find it anymore. I think the British variant is the sweet one.
You know why they have 57 varieties? Because they kept trying to make good ketchup but kept fucking it up.

I'm kidding. I really don't mind Heinz. I consider it to be the Coca-Cola of ketchups. I'll have it if it's the only thing available and I'm fine with it. But given the choice, I go Hunt's or Dickenson's

edit: And yes I think Fletcher is right, it's the flavors. Kinda like how Dr Pepper has so many.
 

Party Rooster

Unleash The Beast
Apr 27, 2005
40,284
7,454
438
The Inland Empire State
#17
I couldn't possibly begin to try telling the difference between brands of ketchup.
This.

The "Simply" is their organic horseshit. It tastes exactly as I described. Cold tomato soup. You cannot taste any of the extra chemicals and shit they are supposed to put in there. All you taste is the tomato. It's too overwhelming for me.
Fixed.

Im pretty sure the 57 varieties refers to all the condiments Heinz makes. I could be wrong though.
Not just condiments, but all their products. Canned veggies, soups, vinegar, beans, etc. It was actually over 60, but 5 and 7 were Mr. and Mrs. Heinz's lucky numbers.

I worked in a restaurant that switched to Hunts from Heinz. You wouldn't have believed the outrage, I had no idea there were people so picky about something they were going to fuck up their food with. We ended up having to pour it into small bowls so people wouldn't know what brand it was. People think you're "cheap" if you don't serve Heinz.

Catsup has two purposes: French fries and as a base for cocktail sauce. That's it. If you're putting it on anything else it's because you were a picky eater as a kid so your mom put it on everything to get you to eat it. Or you cremate all your meats when you cook them to the point where there's no natural juices left and you have to dump it on there to be able to swallow it.
 

MetalBender

I like fistables.
Dec 20, 2009
1,308
111
198
New Orleans....Iowa
#19
Who likes a good ketchup?

Yes, this is my third thread regarding Ketchup. Figured I'd make it official.

I don't like ketchup......I LLL---yeah whatever.

Anyway, I just got this "Simply Heinz" from Walgreens after realizing I was out. Figured I'd just pick up any old ketchup and it'd be fine. It wasn't. This stuff was garbage. Way too sweet. Tasted like cold tomato soup. Hunt's > Heinz.

The best ketchup I've had is by Dickenson's, though. Best shit ever. They have it at most good hotels but if you can find it in the store it is incredible stuff.

Tell your mom to get on the stick. Don't want a young fella like yourself jacking up the condiments.

When does the jam thread start? jelly thread that is, don't want to confuse you.
 

luckie1710

Registered User
Jul 21, 2008
5,666
72
293
#21
Know what's weird. I love Heinz. But I have to use Hunt's when I make bbq sauce. When I use Heinz it tastes off for some reason.

Oh and making your own ketchup isn't that hard either. I did that a few times over the summer.
 

Begbie

Wackbag Generalissimo
Jul 21, 2003
17,994
5,387
838
Wilmington, NC
#22
The "Simply" is their organic horseshit. It tastes exactly as I described. Cold tomato soup. You cannot taste any of the extra spices and shit they are supposed to put in there. All you taste is the tomato. It's too overwhelming for me.
Actually no, the "Simply" line is not their organic horseshit. Heinz "Organic" Tomato Ketchup is their organic horseshit.

And the main reason why you can't taste any of the extra spices and shit in Simply Heinz...is because there are no extra spices and shit in Simply Heinz. The only difference between Simply Heinz and Heinz Original Tomato Ketchup is the sweetener. Simply Heinz has cane sugar, the regular brand has high fructose corn syrup.

Heinz (Regular):
Tomato Concentrate From Red Ripe Tomatoes, Distilled Vinegar, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Salt, Spice, Onion Powder, Natural Flavoring.

Simply Heinz:
Tomato Concentrate From Red Ripe Tomatoes, Distilled Vinegar, Sugar, Salt, Spice, Onion Powder, Natural Flavoring.
For the record, both Heinz' and Hunts' sugary ketchups are waaaaay better than their HFCS shit. Of course, I'm someone who doesn't buy the corn syrup people's bullshit about how the body doesn't know the difference between real sugar and HFCS.
 

Buster H

Alt-F4
Wackbag Staff
Dec 6, 2004
12,244
2,725
678
Lower Bucks Co, PA
#23
Who likes a good ketchup?

Yes, this is my third thread regarding Ketchup. Figured I'd make it official.

I don't like ketchup......I LLL---yeah whatever.

Anyway, I just got this "Simply Heinz" from Walgreens after realizing I was out. Figured I'd just pick up any old ketchup and it'd be fine. It wasn't. This stuff was garbage. Way too sweet. Tasted like cold tomato soup. Hunt's > Heinz.

The best ketchup I've had is by Dickenson's, though. Best shit ever. They have it at most good hotels but if you can find it in the store it is incredible stuff.
If you don't support Heinz, you are with the terrorists

 

flyerfan116

Fuckin savages
Apr 14, 2005
6,877
270
513
NJ
#24
You should have your hands removed with a sawzall for even saying that Hunt's is better than Heinz.
Fucking this, Hunt's is some vile shit. Heinz is decent but chipotle ketchup rules

I think I've said this before here, but a good cheeseburger should not need ketchup.
We get it...too cool for the room guy :killme:

i never understand this it's like saying 'oh a good piece of meat doesn't need to be seasoned' - of course it does.

Condiments add a different dimension and, especially if you get the gourmet ones, can add a complexity to enhance the food not mask it.
 

Begbie

Wackbag Generalissimo
Jul 21, 2003
17,994
5,387
838
Wilmington, NC
#25
So 57 Varieties is a lie.
It was never 57 varieties of ketchup. It was Heinz' company-wide product offering from I think, the 1930's. They had 57 different products...

Heinz Oven-Baked Beans with Pork and Tomato Sauce
Heinz Oven-Baked Beans without Tomato Sauce, with Pork--Boston Style
Heinz Oven-Baked Beans in Tomato Sauce without Meat--Vegetarian
Heinz Oven-Baked Red Kidney Beans
Heinz Cream of Asparagus
Heinz Cream of Celery Soup
Heinz Cream of Green Pea Soup
Heinz Cream of Mushroom
Heinz Cream of Oyster
Heinz Cream of Tomato Soup
Heinz Bean Soup
Heinz Beef Broth
Heinz Clam Chowder
Heinz Gumbo Creole
Heinz Mock Turtle Soup
Heinz Scotch Broth
Heinz Noodle Soup
Heinz Pepper Pot Soup
Heinz Vegetable Soup
Heinz Consomme
Heinz Onion Soup
Heinz Mince Meat
Heinz Puddings--Date, Fig, and Plum
Heinz Peanut Butter
Heinz Cooked Spaghetti
Heinz Cooked Macaroni
Heinz Pure Jellies
Heinz Apple Butter
Heinz Gherkins--Sweet or Sour
Heinz Mixed Pickles--Sweet or Sour
Heinz Chow Chow Pickle
Heinz Sweet Mustard Pickle
Heinz Dill Pickles
Heinz Fresh Cucumber Pickle
Heinz Strained Foods
Heinz India Relish
Heinz Sandwich Spread
Heinz Pickled Onions--Sweet and Sour
Heinz Spanish Queen Olives
Heinz Stuffed Spanish Olives
Heinz Ripe Olives
Heinz Pure Spanish Olive Oil
Heinz Tomato Ketchup
Heinz Chili Sauce
Heinz Beefsteak Sauce*
Heinz Pepper Sauce--Red or Green
Heinz Worcestershire Sauce
Heinz Prepared Mustard--Brown or Yellow
Heinz Evaporated Horseradish
Heinz Mayonnaise
Heinz Pure Malt Vinegar
Heinz Pure Cider Vinegar
Heinz Distilled White Vinegar
Heinz Tarragon Vinegar
Heinz Rice Flakes
Heinz Breakfast Wheat
Heinz Tomato Juice

Why they kept the '57' on the packaging is unknown. Perhaps superstition...or the Heinz 57 became an important brand identity for them and they decided to keep it around.