OpieRadio Logo
Compound Media Logo
Jim Norton Logo

Lab Riot - Post your science and engineering jokes here

Discussion in 'Science, Math, History and Language Studies' started by Atomic Fireball, May 27, 2013.

  1. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    6,063
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    Q: What do you call fifty black men with syphilis?

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    A: The Control Group



    See how easy? Now you try!
     
  2. whiskeyguy

    whiskeyguy PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
    Messages:
    36,184
    Likes Received:
    21,789
    What do you call 50 black men with herpes?

    Bufferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    Niggers
     
    BIV and Jacuzzi Billy like this.
  3. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    6,063
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    Hmm tough crowd as usual


    Bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."
    A pair of tachyons walk into a bar.
     
    Hate & Discontent likes this.
  4. Buster H

    Buster H Alt-F4
    Wackbag Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Messages:
    12,243
    Likes Received:
    2,726
    Neutrino walks into a bar. Bartender asks "what'll it be?"

    Neutrino replies "nothing, just passing through"
     
  5. Buster H

    Buster H Alt-F4
    Wackbag Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Messages:
    12,243
    Likes Received:
    2,726
    An atom is crying and tells a friend he lost all his electrons. Friend replies "are you sure?"

    Atom replies "I'M POSITIVE!!"
     
  6. Buster H

    Buster H Alt-F4
    Wackbag Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Messages:
    12,243
    Likes Received:
    2,726
    Neutron walks into a bar and orders a shot and a beer. After the bartender delivers it, he asks how much?

    bartender: "for you? NO CHARGE'"
     
    Party Rooster likes this.
  7. Neon

    Neon ネオン
    Donator

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    51,654
    Likes Received:
    18,421
    A cop stops Heisenberg for speeding. Cop says: "Do you know how fast you were going?" And Heisenberg says: "No, but I know exactly where I am."
     
  8. Neon

    Neon ネオン
    Donator

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2008
    Messages:
    51,654
    Likes Received:
    18,421
    Ever hear about the statistician who drowned in a pool? Its average depth was 6 inches.
     
    Party Rooster likes this.
  9. BIV

    BIV I'm Biv Dick Black, the Over Poster.

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2002
    Messages:
    77,736
    Likes Received:
    27,104
    Man says to a beam of light "are you sad?"
    The beam says "nah, just moving toward you."
     
  10. Buster H

    Buster H Alt-F4
    Wackbag Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Messages:
    12,243
    Likes Received:
    2,726
    That one took me a sec
     
  11. whiskeyguy

    whiskeyguy PR representative for Drunk Whiskeyguy.

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2010
    Messages:
    36,184
    Likes Received:
    21,789
    Tsss... who is his friend, a Jerry?! Tssss.























    Sorry, just thought these jokes needed a little intelligence thrown in.
     
  12. CM Mark

    CM Mark The East is Ours!

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    27,472
    Likes Received:
    858
    A Higgs Boson walked into a church. The pastor said, "Get out of here! We don't like your kind around here!" The Higgs responds, "Why? Without me you couldn't have mass."
     
  13. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    6,063
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    Laymen are so dumb they think Carbon-14 dating is illegal in 48 states
     
    Party Rooster likes this.
  14. Party Rooster

    Party Rooster Unleash The Beast

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2005
    Messages:
    40,304
    Likes Received:
    7,462
  15. Hate & Discontent

    Hate & Discontent Yo, homie. Is that my briefcase?

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2005
    Messages:
    15,763
    Likes Received:
    1,337
    Same here

    Sent from the USS Sulaco.
     
  16. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    6,063
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    What's the difference between natural Bacillus anthracis and DARPA's latest strain?

    You can't teach natural anthrax to "go fetch".
     
  17. Hudson

    Hudson Supreme Champion!!!!!
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2002
    Messages:
    32,839
    Likes Received:
    4,557
    Two scientists walk into a bar. The bartender asks them what they want..the first scientist says" I'll have H2O". The second scientist says " I'll have H2O too".
    The bartender goes away and comes back with their drinks. Both scientists gulp down their drinks. The second scientist died.
     
  18. SatansCheerledr

    SatansCheerledr Ideologically Unsound

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2005
    Messages:
    14,852
    Likes Received:
    7,417

    I love making Mrs. SC squirm by telling these kind of jokes to people them just standing there in the awkward silence afterwards. Never saying a word or explaining anything.

    I am an ass.
     
    BIV and Hate & Discontent like this.
  19. mills

    mills I'll give em a state, a state of unconsciousness

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2005
    Messages:
    13,849
    Likes Received:
    638
    My first bio prof was the nerdiest person I've ever known. He told the Fungi (fun guy) joke in the first minute of the first day of class. No one laughed (except him), or spoke, or breathed, and everyone wanted to see him gassed.

    Most awkward and most fun moment I can remember happening inside a classroom.
     
  20. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    6,063
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    Cop: Hey buddy, you know there's a dead cat in that box?
    Schrödinger: I do now, asshole

    Schrödinger: You sperled my thought experiment
     
    Buster H and BIV like this.
  21. LiddyRules

    LiddyRules I'm Gonna Be The Bestest Pilot In The Whole Galaxy

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2005
    Messages:
    140,197
    Likes Received:
    49,174
    Two scientists walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Are you guys physicists?" And one of the scientists responds, "No, we're chemists."
     
  22. Atomic Fireball

    Atomic Fireball Well-Known Member
    Donator

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Messages:
    6,063
    Likes Received:
    3,997
    [/threadkiller]


    But wait, there's more!


    Why did James Van Allen wear a charged-particle belt around his waist?
    To hold his theories up!


    What does the FDA call butylated hydroxytoluene?
    Safe!
     

Share This Page